Fire Boy and Key Girl Get Busy
by CorrelationIsNotCausation
Summary: NaLu. A story in which two close friends decide that it's time to make the grand transition from friends to lovers with mixed results.
1. Adventures in Leveling Up

A nightmare:

Lucy was in the dark and she couldn't find anyone. She raced blindly through an abyss, and then she fell, and she kept falling, forever. Until she felt someone call her name commanding her out of the darkness. Lucy grabbed at the warmth as the voice called her again.

"Lucy."

She opened her eyes, and in the dark room, felt the strange heat of Natsu's body pressed against hers as she dug her fingernails into him and pulled him almost completely on top of her, their legs instinctively moving until one of his legs was between hers and he had to prop himself up by putting a hand up on one side of her face.

"You had a bad dream," he quietly said.

Lucy had long gotten over the shock factor of Natsu being in her bed and had come to accept him as a 'friendly co-sleeper.' The fact that Happy was always in the bed with him helped diminish how weird it would have otherwise been to have a grown man show up and crash with her. She didn't think Happy was there, which increased the awkwardness of their current position significantly.

She struggled to catch her breath, but with him hovering above her, it was impossible.

Natsu found the situation equally confusing, because the way she looked up at him and the way she was breathing made him feel different. Intense.

Lucy tried to move, but when her thigh rubbed between his, he literally lost his breath and tightened his fist in her sheets so hard before panting and quickly rolling off her to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to her.

There had been a lot of moments over the years that led Lucy to question what their real feelings for each other are, but none as intense as seeing that desire flash in his eyes. It was powerful, and as a result she felt like she had butterflies and they were trying to set her on fire from the inside.

Natsu wasn't like most guys. He seemed to have some curiosities about women and especially about female bodies, but he didn't seem interested in being with anyone. People made jokes about how not interested he was all the time, like he wasn't grown up to want to be with anyone.

Lucy didn't necessarily believe this to be true.

For a while, Natsu didn't say anything, but he seemed to calm down, and so did she.

When he finally did speak, he whispered, "Lucy, forgive me."

Lucy said up and said, "You didn't do anything wrong, Natsu."

"Do you…do you ever think about things like that?" he asked, almost timidly.

"Things like…"

Natsu stood up and shook himself. "Nevermind. I'll go home," he said in disappointment.

The idea of making Natsu feel embarrassed or sad was one thing she couldn't allow, even if she felt so awkward discussing her own feelings. Lucy had never seen Natsu acknowledge this side of himself, and she felt like if she didn't respect and honor that level of honestly that it would hurt him.

"Natsu, wait!"

Natsu was blushing hard when he turned back to her.

Lucy quickly stammered, "I think about things like that too! I think all grownups do."

"I didn't mean to disrespect you like some kind of pervert," he said.

The blonde felt hurt for Natsu at the idea that he was unable to distinguish between perverted and inappropriate feelings and his own. Natsu deeply respected women and considered them equal if not generally more powerful. She'd noticed before than men behaving crudely toward women rubbed Natsu the wrong way, and because he felt that was wrong, he automatically categorized his own desires as being like that.

Lucy gave the bed a pat. "Come back, Natsu."

Natsu gripped his scarf, a sign he felt a drastic level of fear. "If I do that, things are going to change. I can feel it."

"It'll be okay, Natsu."

He cautiously returned to the bed and sat down next to her, so they were both sitting on the bed with their legs crossed.

Once they were there, neither of them said anything—for a _long_ time, both of them just blushing and looking everywhere except at each other.

Lucy finally asked, "Where's Happy?"

"He went on a job with Charle and Wendy."

She let out a relieved breath. "Okay, that makes me feel better. A little worried he was about to jump out from between the covers and start being himself."

They returned to silence, and Natsu said, "We made it weird."

"Yeah…I don't really know how to talk to boys," she admitted.

"What are you talking about? You talk to me all the time and I'm definitely a boy. You talk a lot, really, more than anyone else probably in the whole world," he teased.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Natsu."

Natsu felt like a little boy as they fell back into silence. He didn't feel like he could say what he really wanted to say and didn't even know if words even existed to describe how he felt.

Watching him struggle to express himself left Lucy feeling like she'd have to help him say whatever he needed to say. It was kind of obvious that he felt anxious. After so many years, of course she'd had time to think out this side of her life—a thousand and one times. It wasn't something she could ask him about; he had to say it for himself because he was Natsu.

Lucy instead confessed, with much embarrassment, to a feeling she had. "Sometimes, I feel humiliated that I have feelings like that. I feel dirty sometimes, that I think about things. And that because I have those thoughts, I'm maybe not a great person. Maybe it makes me a slut or something. I don't want to be like that."

Natsu disagreed with this and quickly answered, "What are you talking about? Lots of guys have come around trying to get your attention and you never give them the time of day. I see guys looking at you all the time."

"Like who?"

"Bora, Gray, Laxus, Loke, Bixlow, Max, Lyon, Hibiki, Bacchus, Orga, goddamned Sting, Cobra, Kageyama, Dan Straight, the mayor, the guy at the pastry shop, your neighbor, those perverts in the boat, half of the town during the Fantasia parade when they could see your underwear up your skirt…" he started, counting them off on his fingers at first, and then waving his arms in irritation once her ran out of fingers. He went on and named people she barely remembered in places they had only visited one time.

The blonde listened in bewilderment and then broke out into giggles at the idea that Natsu, who did not have the best memory, had some very precise way of remembering everyone who he'd ever seen look at her. Even odder, of all the people he named, _only_ Sting was a 'goddamned' anything. Everyone else was just on the list as themselves. "Natsu, how on earth do you remember all that?"

"Because I'm looking out for you. All the time, even when I don't really mean to," he said, his hand moving back to his scarf. "When guys stare at your butt or your boobs, and they think that's what makes you great, it pisses me off. Because to me what makes you the best isn't any of that."

As soon as he finished, his cheeks turned dark red and he looked away again.

Lucy's stomach turned as she tried to find the courage to answer him. "Natsu, when I think about the future, I can't ever think about waking up and seeing anyone else in my bed. It makes me happy when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I can feel your warmth next to mine. And then I feel stupid, for liking it, because a part of me feels like I shouldn't."

"Why not? I like It too, and then I feel bad about it too, because I think you don't want me to be here," he admitted.

"This is where you belong. With me."

Natsu fidgeted again. "In your bed? I don't know how you feel, but I'm starting to get restless. I used to just sleep in the bed, then I started getting closer and closer, and now I just crash and lay on top of you because I just want to be closer."

For him, it was about being as close to her as he could possibly be.

All they'd been through, his words resonated in her spirit. They'd been to hell and back a dozen times, through desperate dark places and laughter, and over time, they'd become almost inseparable.

Since Natsu was so reserved when it came to this side of himself, it was hard to imagine for her, but she'd certainly tried over the years.

Really, Lucy couldn't imagine a life where any man meant more to her than Natsu. She couldn't imagine waking up next to anyone else or having him be anyone else besides the person she was closest to. And, like Natsu, she'd experienced a desire to become closer. Not just physically, but in any way possible.

Lucy reached out and for him. "Give me your hands, Natsu."

The dragonslayer put his hands in hers.

"I…I love you, Natsu. Do you feel the same way?"

For a second, he had a shocked and somewhat lost expression, but after swallowing nervously, he nodded and gently said, "Of course I love you. For a long time. I don't know how to describe my feelings. They feel huge in my heart."

"I do. My feelings feel huge in me too. I guess that's a good way to put it," she said, giving him a little smile.

"Your heart is beating so hard I can hear it," he sheepishly answered, "But mine too."

Lucy crawled over to his lap and sat straddling him, and Natsu's hands grabbed onto her hips to steady her as he gasped.

"What are we doing?" he nervously asked.

"Just relax."

He started breathing heavily again as she put her hands on his face.

Her lips hovered over his, but he closed the distance and kissed her. The kiss wasn't even slightly cautious or gentle and was executed with as much power and heat as anything else he did.

It was easy to forget at times; Natsu was bad at communicating with words but the master of communicating with his body. His instincts were powerful, and he always followed them.

Natsu's hands felt hot as they traveled up and down her back, each time pressing her a little closer to him. When he broke the kiss so they could breathe, he whispered her name and rested his forehead against hers for a moment. "Don't let go. I'm begging you," he quietly asked.

"I won't, Natsu. Not ever."

After reclaiming her lips, they moved to an open-mouth kiss, and then, after a few minutes, a little tongue. As Lucy shifted to get closer, she rested properly between his legs and he gasped in her ear and emitted a little whine as he looked down between them.

Lucy started to push his coat back, and Natsu shrugged it off one shoulder.

Suddenly, emerging from the spell, Lucy put her hands over his lips. "Hold on!"

Natsu looked up. "You want to stop?"

"I don't. But…we can't just do this. We have to be safe. You know about that, right?"

"Huh? You're safe with me."

She timidly said, "I mean safe from…I don't want to get pregnant."

As if incredibly confused, he tilted his head to the side, and then remembered. "Are we going that far?"

"I thought we were. Don't you want to?"

Natsu laughed nervously, "I'm confused about why we stopped."

"Because we don't want to have a baby."

"Right. That would be…I don't know how to say this, but kind of terrible," he answered as he thought it our briefly and found that particular thought oddly terrifying.

Lucy nodded. "I'm right with you."

He scratched his head. "What do we do about that?"

"We can get protection. There are different ways. I guess we should talk about it and decide. I mean, is this a thing we're going to do a lot?" she asked.

Natsu said, "A lot seems like how I like everything. A lot of Lucy sounds good to me."

It was a surreal for both, deciding that they would move to the next level and start having sex and trying to work out the details of it.

Natsu found it unbelievable, yet also wonderful. It was like their relationship had finally levelled up, and all those things he hadn't been able to say, she had known all along anyway.

The dragonslayer said, "This makes you my girlfriend, right?"

"Right. Maybe we'll just relax and snuggle tonight and figure the rest out tomorrow."

"Sounds like a good plan."

Lucy got under the covers and he followed suit, wrapping his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. "This is nice. Goodnight, Natsu."

"Mmhmm, Lucy. Goodnight."

Natsu turned out the light, and although they stayed close and the moment seemed peaceful, it felt like a lifetime before either could calm themselves down enough to actually go back to sleep.

XXX

The next morning, over breakfast at a local café, they had a long, adult conversation about birth control that left Natsu's face burning long after they parted ways so Lucy could go to a doctor to get pills. He had nothing against kids, but the idea of them having one at that point was beyond his comprehension. If the threat would have otherwise seemed far off, they saw Levy walking around with the spawn of Gajeel inside of her and it was a sharp reminder that safety was important.

It was one area where he wasn't in a hurry to surpass Gajeel.

Natsu thought about going to the guild, and then made a detour to Gildarts house, knowing the old wizard wouldn't stir until later in the morning.

When Gildarts did come out, he saw Natsu waiting for him.

"Oy, Natsu!"

"Gildarts!"

He greeted the older wizard with a customary, "Fight me, Gildarts!"

And Gildarts responded with a customary head-pounded-into-cobblestone. "Too early. Did you wait for me just to get bashed in the skull?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something important," he answered as he peeled himself out of the hole Gildarts made for him.

"Oh? What is it?"

Natsu said, "Lucy and I decided to get serious."

The old wizard's brows rose. "Have you become a man, Natsu?"

"You mean have we…? Not yet, but soon. There were…complications."

"Complications? Did you have a problem?"

Natsu scratched his head. "I don't really know what you're talking about, but we stopped because we didn't have protection."

"Being responsible? That's somehow unlike you."

"Have you seen Levy? She looks like she's going to explode at any time. If I did that to Lucy she would definitely murder me in my sleep."

Gildarts laughed. "It's important to be honest and talk about things like that." Gildarts gave him a pat on the shoulder and added, "I wasn't good at relationships when I was young. I can't give you great advice. I think you've already shown yourself to be a better man than me in some ways."

Natsu answered, "Lucy is really important to me, and I don't want to mess anything up. I don't want to be like people I see, some time goes by and they're not together or something. I felt pretty crazy last night. I kind of wanted to ask her to marry me and move in with me and stay with me forever. I kind of assumed that was a side effect of what we were doing, and it wouldn't be a good idea to yell all that stuff in Lucy's face at once," he said.

Gildarts snorted. "Those are some good instincts, Natsu. There's a thing called being in love. It's fine to have crazy feelings like that. And even to talk about them. Be careful and don't go too fast. There's fun in 'getting there,' if you know what I mean."

"Nope."

"No clue at all? Slow roll to the climax of a mountain?"

"Huh?"

Gildarts sighed sat on the edge of the bridge, gesturing for Natsu to join him.

"Has Lucy ever been with anyone?"

"No."

The older wizard gave him a pat on the back. "That's sweet. Sex is an incredibly powerful act. It brings two people close together, and the pleasure it brings is amazing. Maybe you're lacking some critical information that will help you. Is that…is that why you're here?"

"Basically."

"Well, for starters, It's usually painful for a girl the first time, and you'll probably need to be really gentle."

"Painful?"

"A woman who hasn't been with anyone before has a barrier inside. It's sort of like extra skin, I guess, or something like that. The first time you go inside, it'll tear. That's going to be painful, and it'll probably bleed. After it heals, it won't hurt anymore. I say that not to scare you, but because I think you can be a lot more powerful with your body than you mean to be sometimes."

Natsu frowned at the water. "I don't want to do something that's going to harm Lucy."

"It's just one time. Besides, you should be taking care of her before then anyway."

His confused stare earned him another sigh from Gildarts.

"If I uttered the words 'lick it before you stick it,' would you know what I'm talking about?" he asked.

"My dad was a magical beast who could fly and breathe fire. He didn't tell me a lot about what to do with human girls."

Gildarts said, "All right. So you're a guy, and a guy is basically always going to get his rocks off. Women are a little trickier. What rocks your world may not be what rocks hers. Over time, you'll find a groove that works for you, but until then, you don't want sex to suck for her, right?"

"Right. That would be awful, for it to hurt and also for it to suck, but then to be all right for me," he answered.

After thinking about what to say next, Gildarts said, "During the s-class trials years ago, Laxus was fighting me, and during the battle, a sharp piece of rock went through his tongue. While I was trying to help that ungrateful prince of darkness afterward, I discovered Laxus has a disgusting tongue. It's worse than Bixlow's, it almost unrolls out of his mouth. Is that something specifically wrong with him or…"

"All dragonslayers," Natsu said, sticking his tongue out well below his chin. "What's that got to do with me and Lucy?"

"What you want to do is lay your partner out, have her open up nice and wide, and put that tongue to work. Every woman has a special spot. Don't try to find it on your own. Just ask Lucy. She will know and she will help you. You're going to lick, suck, tease, stick it in and work it a little."

"Put my tongue in there?"

Gildarts said, "It's not as gross as it sounds."

"It doesn't sound gross to me, I just worry she'll try to kick me in the brain if I try something like that. Do I just walk up to her and ask?"

"Then you _will_ get kicked in the brain, and you will deserve it. Geeze, Natsu. It's about foreplay. You start with the kissing, the handsy stuff, you very gradually with as much grace as you can muster work your way down south. You go down on her until she reaches climax at least once and is begging for you, then you put it in. If you put it in before she's hit it, you're probably going to swing and miss on her climax and that means you suck."

The dragonslayer swung his feet over the water. "Hopefully I don't do it wrong."

"You'll be fine. It's a learning process. Putting the extra effort in at the beginning will pay off. The frequency at which you have sex will be determined in part by how good it is for the woman. If she never gets to climax, she'll start to think of it as something gross where you flop around on top of her and grunt like a pig and then she needs a shower afterward."

"Gildarts."

"What?"

"That kind of sounds like a 'you' problem."

"Words hurt, Natsu."

"So are we going to fight or what?"

Gildarts asked, "Do you really _want_ me to make your body totally worthless for the next few days?"

Natsu grew quiet.

"Oh ho ho! So there is a power in this earth great enough to keep you from getting into fights. It is sex!" Gildarts pinched his cheeks. "Little Natsu is all grown up!"

"Stop being weird. Of course I grew up."

Gildarts smiled and put his hand on Natsu's shoulder. "I'm proud of you. Lucy seems like a great girl. And fine as she could be. It took me a while to stop hoping for you to be with Lisanna, but that ship sailed I guess."

Natsu said, "We grew apart. When she came back, we were just different people. She's dating someone. There weren't any hard feelings or anything. We just weren't the same anymore. We're friends."

"I get it. It's fine. It's how life works. You stayed friends and you appreciate your past, and no one can ever take that from you."

After staying with Gildarts for a while longer to ask more questions and absorb as much wisdom as he possibly could, he went to the guild and arrived about an hour before Lucy.

She sat down next to him on a bench at their usual spot and gave him a secretive, almost wicked smirk. "Natsu."

He grinned widely back at her. "Hey Luigi, how's it going?"

"Oh after what happened last night, I'm back to Luigi status? Good. I uhhh…got what I needed."

Lucy froze when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek in front of the whole guild, which brought the whole world screeching to a halt.

Her whole face burned as people stared at them. "Natsu?!"

"You should see your face, Luigi!" he exclaimed, although he didn't let her go.

"You are the worst!"

"You picked me, so maybe you've got bad taste," he answered.

Lucy's first instinct was to throw him off the bench and Lucy kick him off the edge of the earth for embarrassing her, but it was absolutely impossible for her to be angry at him when he had his huge, blindingly bright smile on, like he was so happy he couldn't stand it.

There was a scattered and constant mumble of 'about time' from various corners of the guild, and then the noise level rose again as the guild simply went on with their regular chatter even though they were both sure the topic of the day was going to be them.

And honestly, she was about to burst from excitement too, and she wanted their friends to know. After all, who was it that had loved and supported them all along, if not the guild? She just didn't think that Natsu would be affectionate in public, although as soon as she thought about it, she realized Natsu wasn't bound by normal rules at all. He whatever his heart wanted, and in that moment, his heart wanted to give her hug because he was filled with joy.

Erza interrupted the commotion by sticking a job request on the table. "I'm quite pleased with this development, but we need to work."

"Nope!" Natsu quickly said.

Lucy echoed with, "I need to work on my training."

She narrowed her eyes. "This job is a perfect for Gray, myself, plus you and Natsu. It's too big for us without you."

Natsu knew better than to lie to Erza, but actually had no intention of going on any sort of job until he and Lucy had sorted things out.

Gildarts called, "You know what? I'm feeling a little restless. I could go for work. How about you let me take the place of Natsu and Lucy."

"You…want to go on a job with Gray and I?" Erza said.

"It sounds like fun," the old wizard answered. "Natsu needs to brush up on his training too. We'll let the cutsies-cutsies make out and train or whatever and we'll work."

Erza was a little stunned by this sudden change of plans. "I…that sounds quite all right, actually. It'll be an honor to work alongside you."

Gildarts stopped by Natsu and leaned down to whisper, "You owe me bigtime."

Natsu laughed nervously. "Thanks, Gildarts, you're…whatever you are."

Gray shook his head. "If you guys want to grin like idiots all day, maybe go on a date or something. Just sitting around here seems pretty lame. Take Lucy somewhere nice so she doesn't get bored with you, You aren't exactly going to keep her occupied with half of a personality."

"Half a personality? That's three times more than what you have. You can only make two faces, and they're both ugly!" Natsu said, jumping up from the table.

On the verge of violence, a giant fist emerged from the other side of the room and smashed Natsu and Gray.

Makarov said, "Sorry, Lucy, your boyfriend needs to take a little nap."

Gildarts grabbed Gray by the collar and dragged him toward the door. "Thanks, Master. We'll be back soon."

She took a magazine out of her purse and started flipping through it but heard Gajeel call from behind her.

"What an idiot."

"Yep, he's an idiot. But he's my idiot. You're someone's very special idiot too, so I don't know what you're talking about," Lucy casually answered.

Levy giggled, Gajeel pouted, and Lucy read Sorcerer's Weekly while Natsu's arms and legs periodically twitched from his place of rest in the middle of the guild floor.

"That's my guy," she grumbled.

-Reviews Welcome-

Next time on **Fire Boy and Key Girl Get Busy**...Fire Boy and Key Girl Get Busy.


	2. Adventures in Intimacy

A date was fine enough.

It felt kind of normal to Natsu, since he already did nearly everything with Lucy. What was different was the way he could reach down for her hand and she'd take it.

"This makes me happy. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like I'm flying super high and I'm not going to come down," she said.

Natsu asked, "Do you want to see my house?"

"I've actually already seen your house once. I broke in once and…cleaned it. That doesn't make sense when I look back on it," she answered.

"I know! Your scent was everywhere! Happy and I mainly wanted to know if you put on the maid's uniform when you did it," he teased.

Lucy answered, "Of course not, that was only for seduction that one time."

"Speaking of which, you could wear it for me sometime, right?" he said, his tone a little deeper and different than she was used to. Then, as she stood frozen and blushing, he laughed.

"Yeah, right, Natsu! I mean…do you…do you want to see me wear it?"

His only response was to emit something akin to a nervous near-giggle. "Just kidding."

"Are you?"

"I don't know! I didn't think this through before I mentioned it."

Lucy lightly shoved him and then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back to her side. "Do you ever think anything through?"

He said, "Of course not. That's why I need you. Anyway, I don't think a lot of people in the guild know this, but during the fight with Zeref's army, our house was destroyed."

Her jaw dropped. "Oh no, I didn't…you should have told me."

"We were able to save the stuff that mattered. Just not the walls or roof or anything like that. We've been rebuilding since then. It's actually awesome. Well, it's getting better at least."

"You're building a house?"

"Yeah, our house means a lot to us. It's hard work. Mostly for me. Happy's not great at heavy lifting. We've lived there for a long time, so we want it to be better than ever," he explained.

Lucy followed him down the street that led out of town. "How'd you guys end up with it anyway?"

Natsu said, "The property has actually belonged to different members of the guild for a long time going back. There was an old man in the guild named Miko. I used to do little errands for him all the time. He was nice. I honestly didn't know him that well, but when he died, he wrote in his will that I made him look forward to the future of the guild and left me the house. I'd only been with the guild for about six months then."

"You outright own it?"

"Yeah. I've been a homeowner since I was thirteen."

Lucy sighed. "That actually kind of depresses me. If your house wasn't disgusting, I'd ask to be your roommate. I mean, I assume you built a new house where the old one is, and it's still full of dirty dishes and trash."

Natsu withdrew his hand. "What a mean girlfriend. I'll take you back to the store and ask for a nice one."

"I'll throw you in the river."

He wrapped his arms around her from the side and kissed her hair, flashing that big smile again.

It wasn't as far as Lucy remembered, and it looked drastically different. The house was house-shaped but it looked like it was made from solid grayish rock with colored veins running through it and it hung over the cliff, leaving most of the yard open.

Natsu had put a similarly constructed rock fence around the whole property with a ridiculous sign that said, 'Beware of Cat.'

"How did you make this?" she asked.

"Big rocks. I drag them over here, and I melt them into lava, and then they're sort of like hot clay. When it cools off, the new parts and old parts have melted together. You can make glass from melting the sand from the lake. It's actually been pretty fun."

Natsu was obviously incredibly proud of his work, and to his credit, it looked amazing.

When he opened the door, it was another story. Lucy found it sparsely furnished and quite unfinished. They had a stove, a refrigerator, and a couch in the main room. The bathroom had a toilet and the house's only sink.

"Where do you bathe?"

"In the river, where else?"

There were exposed electrical wires leading to the few powered items and pipes in the middle of the floor.

That said, the entire back of the house was just one huge window that looked over the edge of the cliff to the East Forest, the lake, and the town. It was the best view in Magnolia without a doubt.

"This place has a lot of potential."

"You could stay with us if you hate rent."

Lucy laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, did you just invite me to live with you in a house with no bathtub and exposed wires everywhere? And do you wash dishes in the bathroom sink?"

"No, we wash dishes in _your_ sink, because we eat your food at your place. We're not barbarians," he said.

"You're living in a house that barely has a toilet."

"That's actually kind of new," he laughed.

She sat down on their blue sofa and he took a spot next to her. "You could help us finish. It could be a project. I could make it bigger, give you a room you can hoard books and stuff. I could make you a huge bathtub."

Lucy stopped herself from fussing further, because she remembered that Natsu and Happy were having to rebuild everything from scratch because their house was destroyed in the battle. That was sad for her to think about: Natsu coming come after all the hurt and finding his house in ruins. They were working hard to do the best they could and he'd obviously taken it just about as well as a person could.

Natsu laughed a bit nervously. "We have some savings, but I don't really have business sense. Even if you could just help us figure out some stuff, it would help a lot."

This was true; Natsu had virtually zero knowledge of a lot of different subjects. He wasn't stupid, he'd just lived a very strange life and he'd put everything he was into magic. They'd come far by themselves working off Natsu's abilities but hadn't taken many steps beyond that except to supply the house with the barest necessities.

"S-Sorry. I was being rude. You guys have worked hard, and it must have really sucked to go through that. I'll help you. We're partners, right?"

Natsu waved for her to follow him. "Right. This is my room."

It was a huge and nearly completely empty room except for a hammock, but one wall was a window looking over the cliff.

"This could be such a cool place to live, Natsu."

He jumped in the hammock and gestured for her to come to him with his finger.

Lucy blushed and carefully crawled in with him.

"Don't rock it too much, hammocks are transportation," he warned.

There was no reason to question why he'd sleep in something that could cause him motion sickness. It was just a very Natsu thing to do. Lucy actually assumed he probably liked being snug in the hammock versus sleeping flat in a bed. Because Natsu.

They lay side-by-side, nose-to nose, forehead-to-forehead with her head resting on one bicep while his free hand came to rest on her side.

Lucy whispered, "I'm sorry about your house, Natsu."

"It's okay. All my friends survived. You survived. I can build a thousand new houses but there's never going to be another you," he said.

They kissed, and kissed again, and when he tried to move, the hammock tilted and he let out a vomit-tasting burp directly into her mouth, causing her to roll and flip both out of the hammock.

She covered her mouth. "Natsu! I tasted your barf burp! Gross!"

"Oops? Sorry," he bashfully answered.

She ran to go wash her mouth out in the bathroom, and he entered after her and brushed his teeth, looking over at her occasionally to smirk.

"Why are you smiling at me?!"

"Because I'm happy," he mumbled with the toothbrush in his mouth.

Lucy snatched it out of his hand when he finished, rinsed it off, and brushed her teeth.

"Sharing toothbrushes is gross, Luigi," he teased.

Lucy spit in the sink and wielded the toothbrush, swinging it at him like a weapon. "You know what else is gross? Almost throwing up in someone else's mouth. Never, ever ask me to get in the hammock with you again. If you want to touch me here, you're going to have to get a big boy bed. Besides, you put your tongue in my mouth last night, and our mouths are equally gross, which is probably a worse deal for me."

"How do you figure?"

"I'm not four hundred years old or part reptile"

Natsu said, "I'm just joking. You're welcome to anything I have."

"Maybe you and Happy should stay will me full time until your house is fixed up. It'll be better."

"You don't mind?"

She shook her head. "It's been a long time since you guys had a solid place, right? Of course you can come over. Honestly, you basically live with me anyway. That battle was a year ago, it honestly hurts my heart a little to think you and Happy have had to work this long to get this far."

After they were finished in the bathroom, she said, "I think we should go to the library and get some books about home building and renovation. If we learn what needs to be done, then we can figure out how much it should cost and what you can afford. It'll probably be cheaper to do as much as you can on your own instead of having someone else do it, but there are some things that are best left to a trade guild, like electrical stuff."

"Why?"

"It's dangerous. You could get shocked," she said.

"I'm basically an expert. I've eaten more lightning than any of the professionals in town," he casually answered.

"The professionals in town don't eat lightning, Natsu."

"Exactly. What do they know about it?"

Lucy decided Natsu was probably actually safe from normal construction work. It was obviously absurd to worry he might accidentally get shocked while knowing Laxus blasted him halfway to hell on a somewhat reliable schedule. At Natsu's request, at that.

Once they made it to the library, Lucy flipped through books and took careful notes about what they needed. From there, they went to a building supply store and she wrote down prices and picked up a tape measure and headed back to the house with him.

Natsu sat on his sofa while he waited for her to finish her calculations.

Lucy finally said, "So, we don't have enough money. We're short by a lot, even if we do everything by ourselves, just the materials are expensive. But I think if we work hard and invest here, we can make a lot of progress, and finish the rest as we can. Or maybe we could take a difficult job and try to make what we need all at once," she said.

"I'm S-Class. We could do an S-Class job by ourselves. With Happy, of course."

"Maybe," Lucy said as she wondered about why Natsu waited so long to tell her he'd become homeless during the fight with Alvarez. No matter how one wanted to look at it, if anyone had known, they wouldn't have allowed him to get stuck like that. That whole conflict was deeply painful and incredibly exhausting for Natsu, so she had a hard time even understanding how he'd been any sort of okay in the aftermath, especially considering the fact he didn't even have a home to go back to after it was over.

After she sat down with her notebook and made some calculations and some prioritizations, they went all the way back to town, and bought a big haul of supplies and tools that Natsu carried to the house in a big pack on his back, and for the rest of the afternoon, worked alone together.

Natsu was the king over over-tightening things until they were broken, but he was also actually a master at soldering pipes because, well, he was Natsu. And depending on one's perspective, he was either the worst person to ever wield a nail gun or the king of the nail gun. Lucy and Natsu had opposite opinions on this subject.

After a few hours of grueling work that left her sore, he asked, "Does this count as a bad date?"

"I'm actually having fun," she said.

Natsu paused then, and stared at the door as Happy fluttered in.

"Natsu!"

"Happy, how was your job?"

The exceed gave a full retelling of the job from the perspective of a flying cat preoccupied with another flying cat, and then said, "I told you Lucy would help us fix out house!"

Natsu flashed a grin. "You're totally right, Happy! She's so smart she figured out we're too broke to finish."

Happy frowned. "Useless Lucy."

"Hey! I am hard at work here!" she exclaimed.

The dragonslayer added, "Guess what else, Happy?"

"What, Natsu? You caught a big fish?"

"Lucy and I are together now," he said, looking up from his work just briefly, only to hammer his own thumb when he tried to refocus. "Ow-ow-ow-ow!"

Happy floated undisguised shock for a moment, and then covered his mouth and playfully said, "Lucy…he liiiiiiiiiiiiiikes you."

Natsu grinned. "Damn right I do."

It suddenly occurred to him that if they were all together in Lucy's one-room apartment, they would have zero privacy. Natsu was trying to think his mind around how they were even going to make it work that night.

Happy fluttered around and looked at all the supplies. "I'll go stay with…Lily tonight. You guys are gross."

"Gee thanks, but you're not getting out of doing work," Lucy said.

"I'm a cat. Meow."

Happy didn't hang around long at all, and Lucy and Natsu both knew he was probably just trying to not be in the way. Truth be told, he had good instincts for things like that, and for all his relentless teasing, seemed to want Natsu to be 'liiiiiiiiiiiked' more than anything else in the world.

By the time it got dark, they'd made impressive progress, so they headed back to Lucy's place, grabbing dinner from a food stand on the way. They'd finished eating by the time they made it there, and since the day's work was hard and quite sweaty, needed to clean up before bed.

Lucy went first, and while Natsu was in the bath, she put on something a matching lace bra and panty, turned out the lights, and lit candles all over the apartment until it had a romantic glow. They hadn't really talked about trying to make it all the way, but she just assumed that had been on the agenda the whole day.

Natsu came out into the dimly lit room, took in the atmosphere, and said, "You're really sweet. Putting little snacks all over in case I get hungry."

"What do you mean, little snacks?...They're _candles_, Natsu, not little fire snacks."

Then, he looked her over, in her black lace bra and panties as he stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist. "What is that?" he asked.

Lucy found his question direct and awkward, like it didn't have the desired effect on him, and so crossed her arms over her chest. "I feel kind of stupid, but I just thought you might find it…you know."

Natsu moved with inhuman speed and was suddenly in the bed, crawling on top of her with a rather intense look on his face. He'd made it there before his towel hit the floor across the room. In some ways, she found this sporadic, rare, and incredibly intense side of him almost cat-like, seeming disinterested until completely engaged.

He bent down kissed her, and just when her heart started to pound, gently whispered in her ear:

"You're beautiful, _Luigi_."

"…you…actually had the nerve to call me that while you're naked in my bed?!"

"What's wrong? I'm all fired up!"

When he flashed that smirk at her, she tried to kick him, and he easily caught her foot, brought it to her mouth, and bit her big toe playfully.

"Natsu!"

They tumbled and he pinned her down to tickle her, leaving her squealing for mercy and also complaining, "Stop tickling me, you naked weirdo!"

While they were wrestling about, Lucy managed to gain just enough leverage that suddenly, she was on top of him and he was flat on his back. The game came to an immediate end when Natsu felt a world of heat against him and while he had no regrets about leaving the poor towel behind, the mere sensation of his manhood feeling her warmth made him feel almost intoxicated.

From that perspective, Lucy really was just an absolute goddess, all curves and black lace.

Lucy felt him start to get hard and for a moment, felt a little afraid, until she remembered that this is what they wanted. When she leaned down to kiss him, the movement of her body against him caused Natsu to make a noise she would have sworn was identical to a puppy crying.

The blonde kissed him and then rolled her hips. "Natsu…say my name."

When she moved again, his teeth clenched together, and he hissed, "Lucy!" through them.

For this torture, Lucy was suddenly on her back, under a heavy, hot, and strong dragonslayer. His green eyes were lit with fire as his hand slid under her and pulled her body against his, kissing her deeply. Near frantic movements of hands and legs made awkward adjustments and restless, fevered moves as their bodies grew closer.

Their mouths parted long enough to breath and little else, although when they came up for air the fifth time, Natsu held a hand up over her chest and whispered, "Can I?"

Lucy put her hand over his and brought it down to one of her breasts. His hand squeezed gently at first and then a little tighter. When she winced, she put her hand back on his. "Easy, Natsu. I'm right here."

"Sorry."

She sat up just enough to unhook her bra, knowing there was probably a greater chance that they'd be struck by a meteor than there was that Natsu might get her bra off without destroying it. In the back of her mind, she believed he was, in fact, eager to do so.

Natsu kissed where the strap slid from her shoulder and eased it off gently, and Lucy ran her fingers through his hair and then delicately kissed along the scar on his face.

Being patient and going slow were two things that Natsu was just naturally very, very bad at, but here, it wasn't so bad. Touching her smooth skin was enough that he almost wanted to go slow because he wanted the experience to last forever.

Then his whole body all but seized when he felt her hand touch him.

Natsu rolled onto his back, eyes fixated on Lucy's fingers as they wrapped around his erection.

"Can I?" she coyly asked.

Natsu managed to nod.

"Am I doing it right?" she timidly asked. "Natsu?"

"Can't…words…" he panted.

Lucy found she was a little terrified by the sight of his manhood at first. Various things went through her head. Namely, she tried to do some math and diagrams in her head about how it was going to fit inside. Knowing she could make Natsu feel so good he couldn't remember how to speak made her happy, because she wanted him to feel good. And because it gave her incredible power over the monster that was Natsu Dragneel.

She wasn't sure if Natsu had ever paid attention to anything in his entire life as intensely as he watched her lean down slowly and kiss him right on the tip.

He sat up suddenly and pulled her back into his lap. Although he wanted to tease Lucy for doing something so incredibly dirty and wonderful and perfect, he still could not remember how to speak and decided if he could, he'd probably just provoke her to tease him more.

When he laid her on her back and slid between her legs, he hooked his teeth in her panties and tore them off. Because, as she would point out in the future, there he had to destroy any article of clothing that he didn't feel like thinking about. And basically all the blood he needed to think had gone elsewhere, the mechanics of removing panties might as well have been rocket science.

Lucy was more than a little shocked when he slid his arms under her thighs. "What are you doing, Natsu?"

Finally, he found a word. "Tasting."

He did _not_ ask Lucy for help, because Lucy was the most vocal person than he knew and a basic exploratory round yielded knowledge of a little bump that made her moan in a way that made his heart pound so hard he couldn't hear anything but the sound of it under her soft cries.

Natsu took his time, egged on by how his girlfriend quickly became unraveled. Lucy begged, she moaned, she writhed, she fisted her hands in his hair and called his name over and over.

To her, his unnaturally hot mouth and borderline demonic tongue were a bit more than she'd expected. Some part of her fought it at first, but it was so good, and it was _Natsu_ that brought her that pleasure. Lucy's toes curled, her back arched, and let Natsu win. And win again. And again.

Once Natsu figured out anything, it was his forever, and she felt like he was going to exploit whatever magic he'd mastered until she couldn't take it anymore. Yet the more she let herself revel in it, the more Lucy became aware of a specific absence in her. Never in her life had she felt the urge to be filled like that before, like an intense sense of longing that she needed him to be inside of her.

"Natsu…"

"Hmm?"

"I want you. Come here," she whispered.

Natsu obeyed, propping himself up on top of her. "It might hurt."

"I'm ready."

He was as gentle as possible but felt a little friction and the feeling of Lucy's fingers digging into his back for a few seconds. Natsu went slow at first, heeding Gildarts' words that he was sometimes rougher than he meant to be.

When her body started to move under his, they struggled for a minute or so to find a pace, and Lucy found the pain subsided rather quickly.

In this ultimate form of intimacy, he moved deep inside of her and she wrapped herself around him.

Their pace gradually quickened, and at Lucy's direction, his movements became more powerful. He growled her name when he was deep, relishing the way her smooth body felt. Where he was going, she was going to go with him, and he pulled her down with him, crashing together into a spectacular climax that left both of them shaking and spellbound.

Natsu rested on top of her for a while, and she brushed her hand over his face.

When he lay down next to her, she saw him put his arm over his eyes, something she'd only ever seen him do a couple of times to hide his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I just thought of something that made me sad, that's all. Sorry, Lucy."

Lucy leaned over him and moved his arm, stroking his face softly. "What is it?"

"I wish I could take you home to meet my dad. Not Igneel the giant dragon, but Igneel my dad. I'd give anything in the world just to be able to talk to him and tell him how I feel right now. He would have liked you a lot, because you have so much life in you, and you're kind. When you kick me for doing something stupid, he'd laugh so hard the whole earth would shake. Igneel used to worry that I'd be too hot-headed and too stubborn to make friends, or to find someone to be with someday. I just wish he could know that I'm all right, and that I have someone great, and it's all because of him.

"But I can't. Because he died, Lucy. I watched him get ripped to pieces and I couldn't do anything. To everyone else, it was a dragon dying, but to me, that was my dad. I don't know why I'm thinking about all this right now."

Lucy snuggled him close. "Natsu, I write letters to my mom all the time. I tell her about my friends, about my life, about you. I know she's never going to read even one, because she's been gone for a really long time. She loved me, Natsu. Really loved me. My mom and your dad died for the same thing: the future we live in right now. So we can be together right now," she said, unable to keep herself from crying.

Letting out a single laugh even though she was still in tears, she added, "My mom would have _loved_ you, Natsu. Just loved you to death. I think if my she hadn't died, even my dad might have been able to get on board with us. You're passionate and funny and sincere, and you make me happy. Being your teammate and being your friend, all these years has given me the strength to grow into the person I was meant to be."

Lucy crawled out of the bed and briefly went into the bathroom, where Natsu had left his scarf hanging on the door, and brought it back, wrapping it around him after she got back in bed. "I believe our parents can see us. And I believe they're proud. And I believe they still love us just the same way we still love them even though they're gone. Let's never forget about them."

When she snuggled back up to him, she rested her head on the dragonscale scarf.

Natsu said, "It's the last piece of Igneel that's left in this world."

"Natsu, your dad's legacy isn't some scaly scarf. It's you. You're more important to this world than you know. Just think of all the amazing things you've been able to do. Igneel helped make you who you are, so without him, the world would be a darker place," she said.

Since Natsu didn't really talk in depth about how he felt about Igneel's death, this was both a painful but healing conversation. He wasn't even sure why he'd been hit by such powerful feelings, or why the things he'd been holding in his heart just spilled out so hard.

"I feel like I'm only supposed to feel happy, but my heart hurts so much right now."

"You'll be okay, Natsu. I'm here. Let's just rest for now, okay? Tomorrow will be another day."

XXX

It was a few of days before Gildarts returned, and when he did, he headed straight for Natsu's house for an update on his situation once he was unable to find him at the guild.

Natsu was home with Happy when the old wizard came in through the open front door to find Natsu hanging drywall.

"Are you handy now?"

"My house got smashed, so I guess?"

"How did your house get smashed?"

Happy said, "During the fight with Zeref, a giant stepped on it."

"Ah. The hot one?"

Natsu answered, "There was only one. I think giants are usually about how tall they are. I don't think 'hot giants' is a thing."

"You're so young and naïve, Natsu."

"You're old and gross, Gildarts. How was the job?"

"It was fine. Erza is kind of intense. She punched me where my insides are gone for missing the train, then said, 'Sorry, I forgot you aren't Natsu.'"

Natsu gave Happy some bills. "Can you go back and get another hammer? I melted another one."

"Aye, sir!"

Gildarts said, "Are you sure you're handy? Because I'm sure that's not how hammers are supposed to work. And you're making me nervous with that nail gun."

Happy flew off to buy a new hammer and Gildarts wiggled his eyebrows. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"How are things going with Lucy?"

Natsu replied, "I dunno."

"Have you become a man?"

"Yeah, whatever. It was good and then once it was over I started crying like a baby about my dead dad, and I did not stop for a very long time," he answered.

Gildarts scowled. "Yikes."

Natsu said, "I've just been avoiding Lucy. Then her feelings got hurt. I'm too embarrassed to talk to her and I feel like trash and I think she hates me."

"There's a difference between having sex and making love. There's the physical act, which you can do with anyone. Then there's the other thing, which is rarer and more special. Where you do that act with someone you care about. If you boiled over when you were close to Lucy, you probably had a lot of stuff trapped inside that was wanting to come out," he said.

The dragonslayer scowled at Gildarts.

It was rare to see Natsu in a mood that could genuinely be classified as 'bad,' but he was definitely in a funk.

Gildarts asked, "Why were you thinking about your dad?"

"It's stupid, I guess. I was just thinking that I'd like to introduce her to him, and how he'd like her. They'd probably laugh at me and make jokes about me, and we'd all be happy. But that's never going to happen, because Acnologia ripped his body in half and he died," Natsu darkly answered.

Gildarts studied him and gently said, "You never got a chance to deal with that, did you? You buried it, and then suddenly everything in the world was wrong again. You had to fight and deal with all the END crap."

"How am I supposed to 'deal' with that? I saw his insides fall out. That was my dad, Gildarts. He died a terrible, gruesome death. And then what's wrong with me, talking about all this stuff with a woman who has just…Men are supposed to be the strong ones, aren't they?"

The old wizard answered, "No one in this world is going to argue that you're not a strong man, Natsu, but you need to realize you're not invincible either. You'll be ten times stronger with a girl who can help you face your weaknesses than you could ever be alone."

"Aren't you alone? Literally always?"

"I'm not a great guy like you. I had someone like Lucy at my side for a while and you know what I did? I distanced myself from her, ruined the relationship, and left her to raise a child alone. Part of the reason I've really taken time with you is I see what I was like when I was young in you and I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did. Where I ended up isn't great, Natsu. What you experienced maybe felt bad to you, but it was powerful. Can you imagine how powerful that act really is, drawing you so close it pulls out your weakness?"

"I can imagine I don't want to think about it anymore."

Gildarts shook his head. "You love her, right?"

"Of course I do. That was the whole reason we wanted to be together," he answered in irritation.

"Is the issue that you're angry at Lucy for making you feel those things?"

"Why would I be mad at Lucy because I'm down about something?"

After trying to find some other way to come at the subject, Gildarts finally shrugged. "You're in a gloomy mood, Natsu. You're being rude and closed off to people who care about you and that's only going to make you more confused. Your dad loved you, but he is gone. Lucy loves you, and she's just a few minutes away."

Natsu flinched.

"I need to go talk to Lucy, I guess. She's gonna be pissed."

"Probably gonna get that kick to the brain. And you know what?"

"I deserve it?"

"You're getting smarter, Natsu."

**-Reviews Welcome!-**

Note: omg I was so excited to see people actually reviewed like eeeeeeeeeeek! Thank you so much valerioux and Ember Reverie for taking time to do so. I love this pairing and I just want to explore it, and laugh about it. Gildarts/Natsu is such a sweet relationship too I just can't.


	3. Adventures in Daddy Issues

By the time Natsu finally got the guts to go apologize to Lucy, he found her asleep when she got to her place. He sat in the window for awhile and watched her sleep, wishing he could just crawl right up next to her without having to wake her up and ruin her night with his attempts to apologize.

He decided he'd come back in the morning, but as he arrived home, a noise suddenly came from the town. It was the bell on top of the guild being rung in the middle of the night.

Warren's voice suddenly echoed as far as they were. "Everyone wake up, there's an emergency! Someone took Levy! We don't know what happened or who is responsible, but Master wants everyone to spread out and get to work! People who can trace by scent need to go in opposite directions! Natsu go east, Wendy go south, Gajeel already went west, Laxus head north. Everyone else make groups and search for clues."

Happy came floating from their room. "Levy? Don't think know she's in no condition to be going anywhere?"

"We need to work on finding her for now, Happy. This could be serious. She can't really fight or even get around that well. Let's go," he said.

"Aye, sir…"

Kidnapping a vulnerable member of the guild when it was playing with a full deck was an insane thing to even think about. Short of when they were attacked by a whole country, Natsu couldn't think of a time anyone had ever come at the guild with the whole S-Class roster in town. _Everyone_ was around.

Happy flew him low through the woods, carefully avoiding trees and branches with expert ability.

The other exceeds could maybe turn into big versions of themselves, or swing swords, but Happy could put any winged creature to shame when it came to flight skills. He was the fastest, most adept, and skilled flyer of the group so Natsu secretly felt like he had the greatest exceed advantage.

There was no sign of her scent, and they searched and searched, long after the sun had come up. No sign of Levy, no sign of strangers that might have taken her, no sign of trouble at all. Even after they moved out of Warren's telepathy range, there was nothing.

At around noon the next day, Natsu was a full thirty miles from Magnolia when he spotted a tower of lightning in the distance northwest of where he was, all the way in the mountains. It wasn't close, and he was worried he already had Happy at his limit, but the exceed sped toward where they'd seen the lightning and dropped Natsu over a mountain just before collapsing from exhaustion.

Natsu plopped down in the snow next to Laxus with Happy under one arm. "I don't smell Levy here…"

"It's the wind. I can't find her, but she is definitely around here."

"How do you know?"

The wind carried what was now faint but was definitely a shriek of pain past his ears.

"She's injured for sure, and it's fucking freezing. There are also enemies here. The wind is messing up my sense of smell, but there are several other people here. Whoever finds Levy takes care of Levy. The other person gets to shit stomp everyone here so hard no one ever things about pulling anything like this again."

Laxus was a man of few words, and the words he did speak were usually not nice. The situation obviously made him furious, as everyone in the guild, no matter how tough they were, had been amazed, curious, and happy about Levy and Gajeel's baby.

Once, Natsu saw Levy ask Laxus if he wanted to feel her baby kick, and he had weirdly accepted the offer and awkwardly patted it for a few seconds before wandering off.

They split up, because with the wind whipping around the mountains, it was hard to tell where the sound was coming from. Even scarier, it seemed to go away and was replaced by occasional hints of blood on the air.

When he saw people thrown from one of the caves, he jumped up and went inside right behind Laxus, who had done the throwing.

They dove on each side of her and Natsu pulled off the cloth they'd tied around her mouth to keep her quiet. She was freezing cold, and Natsu found this was the easiest of their problems to fix. Laxus threw his giant coat over her and Natsu heated up the floor and the air so she could warm up.

Levy cried out, gripping her belly with her hands.

"Did they hurt you?" Natsu said.

She panted through the pain and said, "The baby is coming. I want Gajeel!"

"Gajeel isn't here. He'll be here soon. I'll start running right now."

Laxus said, "You can't. You need to stay with her. As long as there are enemies and she can't defend herself. I'm going to go fight."

The sound of battle outside the cave was intense in the minutes that followed, and the mountain shook periodically.

And somewhere in the back of his mind, Natsu knew Laxus had outsmarted him by thinking faster. The deal was that whoever found Levy would stay and the they other person would fight, but he'd been first to Levy and was now outside committing simple, wanton violence while Natsu knelt next to Levy.

Another pain came, and panic seized him because it seemed so intense, and when it passed, she only had a few minutes to catch her breath before another one came.

"I'm supposed to have my baby at home with Gajeel and a midwife," she cried.

Natsu timidly said, "Can you make it wait?"

This only made Levy cry again before another pain seized her. "Natsu, I need your help. Please."

"Tell me what to do."

Levy was embarrassed but started giving him instructions. Natsu was also embarrassed, but followed them because he was also worried.

For any guy, this situation was the sum of some unknown and incredibly potent fears that he actually hadn't been creative enough to have yet. Natsu was scared to death about what was going on, yet he knew he couldn't just freak out. There was blood and various other fluids under her and once he ripped her underwear, everything down there just looked painful and angry to him.

"What if the baby isn't okay?" she whimpered.

Natsu said, "I can hear its heartbeat."

"It's okay?"

"I'm not a doctor, but that's usually a good sign."

Levy reached out and Natsu gave her his hand as she groaned, pushing as hard as she could during the next contraction. When it was over, she said, "I can't believe the person that's going to help me deliver my baby is you, Natsu."

"Do you want me to switch places with Laxus?"

She tiredly answered, "That's the _only _way this could be worse."

Feeling a little bolder because she made fun of him, Natsu said, "You're the smartest person I know and you're a mom, so you probably don't need help. You've got mom instincts and stuff. You're brave and you're strong. This is nothing for you."

"I know you're trying to encourage me, but it's you're actually making me angry right now," she said.

"Get angry then! This is basically a big battle though and getting mad will help you. It looks like it hurts, it takes a lot of energy, it's lasting a long time, and there's a lot of blood and other stuff that's usually supposed to be on the inside on the outside right now. You're a champion of the Fairy Tail guild, and you don't lose battles."

Another pain, and she squeezed his hand so tight he was sure it was going to bruise while she pushed.

"That's it, I can see…something is happening. If you just keep going, you'll be done soon. Then you'll get to hold your baby, right? Isn't that going to be the best thing ever? You've been waiting all this time."

Natsu counted the fear this experience brought to be on par to facing certain death, but it was what it was, and after a few minutes, he gave her a thumbs up.

"Blue hair. That's a good sign. It's probably best if the baby looks like you. All you have to do is keep going and the pain will be over and you'll have your baby. You've got this!"

By the time Laxus discovered this even had been a kidnapping attempt by Jose Porla to steal the dragon-blooded baby and had beaten both Jose and every other slightly adversarial living creature to pulp, Natsu was yelling at Levy to get all fired up and push harder while she had the head of another human being coming out of her body.

With a final, ear-shattering scream, the baby girl slid into Natsu's hands and started crying.

The horrified yet amazed dragonslayers watched the baby enter the world and take her first breaths while Natsu held her. It was strange, overpowering, and incredible. Natsu reached to his neck and pulled the dragonscale scarf off to wrap it around the baby, and then gave her to Levy.

Happy finally stirred, and Laxus said, "That worthless cat is ready to go get help now?"

"Ah, Happy!"

"Hmm?"

Natsu said, "Levy and Gajeel's baby was born. Can you go back and tell them where we are?"

Levy held her newborn daughter close and stared down at her with the pure, powerful love of a mother. "Hi. I'm your mom. I'm so glad to finally meet you, Amara. I love you so much. I'm so glad you're here. You're perfect."

Natsu had some additional questions, mainly about the fleshy umbilical cord, but Levy didn't seem bothered by the tentacle-like appendage attached to her baby, so he decided it was probably okay although thinking of it as a tentacle made it seem unnatural to him.

He sat next to her and leaned against the wall of the cave. He reached out with one finger, and said, "Look at how tiny her fingers are. That's pretty amazing, right?" When he touched her chubby little hands, he added, "And soft too. Are all babies squishy?"

"Natsu, 'squishy' isn't on the list of words you can use to talk about someone's precious baby," Levy warned.

"Sorry." When he looked up and said, "This is actually really awesome," to Laxus, he almost jumped at the weird, dark expression on the other man's face.

It quickly vanished, and Laxus answered, "Congratulations, Levy. I'm glad everything is fine. Congratulations also on invoking more fear than the dark lord Zeref on two of the most powerful wizards on the continent. There is not enough liquor in this world for today."

"Now that it's over, it's becoming funny for me to think about. Doesn't it seem funny to you guys?" she asked.

Natsu and Laxus answered in unison.

"No."

While Laxus kept watch, Natsu spent most of the time with Levy sharing in her amazement about little fingers and little toes, and cute little chubby legs. He finally asked about the 'baby tentacle,' which brought a certain about of cringey exasperation with it, but Levy kindly gave him a brief lesson.

When Pantherlily finally brought Gajeel into the cave, Natsu got out of the way and watched Gajeel meet his daughter for the first time. His love was instant, complete, powerful, and yes, he cried like he didn't care about anything else in the world but his girl and their child.

Since they weren't really needed, Natsu and Laxus left the cave and ventured back out into the cold. The wind had died down a little, but Natsu suddenly felt like his insides were a mess again.

Hearing Gajeel be a dad just reminded Natsu of how amazing it was to have the love of a father. Even while they were standing around outside, he could hear Gajeel promising Amara that he'd always be there for her, always love her, always protect her.

Natsu knew he was loved like that once, and he'd lost it and that he'd never have it again.

Looking for a way to think about something else, he searched for a distraction and came back to Laxus, who was leaning on the mountain with the deeply angry expression he'd seen earlier.

"Are you mad about something?" he asked.

"Maybe. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Laxus answered.

Natsu said, "I was just thinking about my dad. He cared about me like that. Now he's gone."

"My dad has never cared about anything but himself, not even for a day in his life. Fuck all this shit. I'm going home."

As he watched Laxus take to lightning form and leave, stopping only to blow half a mountain apart out of pure anger, he wondered if they were _all_ broken on the inside. Gajeel, who he could hear quietly promising he'd never abandon his baby because he was still hurt from being left, Laxus, who was only reminded that he'd never actually known the love of his father, or him as he remembered Igneel's warmth.

It was sad. They were powerful dragonslayers sitting at the top of the magic world and then also, emotionally messed up. While Natsu wasn't happy his peers had issues, it made him feel normal.

He thought Lucy deserved to have someone who was tough enough not to lose it over something that made him sad but saw now that Gildarts really was right. Not even for the sake of just keeping her, emotions were hard, and they were real and they hurt. Everyone.

As the day wore on and Natsu and Happy managed to get home after the others, he sorted out his thoughts.

Natsu went to Lucy's place by himself and waited for her to come home. She'd been with a group that headed west, and after she got home, he knew she probably went to go visit the new baby and check in on Levy. They _were_ best friends and it was a big deal for a best friend to have a baby.

When Lucy came through the door, she saw him sitting in her chair, like he'd just barged in like every other time. She'd been surprised to find his scarf at the Redfox hours, since he could have used his jacket for the baby just as easily. She'd washed it and brought it back with her.

"Hey Natsu."

"Hey. I uhhh…I'm an idiot. Is that still okay with you?" he asked.

Lucy nodded and came over to sit in his lap. "Of course it is. Maybe you're an idiot, but your my idiot and I love you."

He'd expected to pay for his transgressions with a little rage, but she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his temple before putting the scarf back on his neck. It still smelled like the baby, and he was okay with that.

A laugh erupted from her, shattering the gentle beauty of her comforting affections. "Did you and Laxus really help deliver a baby?"

"We didn't do anything. Levy did all the work. She was incredible. We mostly just panicked and suffered incredible terror," he said.

Lucy had a long, hard laugh at the idea. "I'm sorry, that's just the most absurd thing I've ever heard it my life. Like I just…I can't. If I could have just been there."

"It was actually really stressful."

"I'm proud of you too. Like, that's my guy. Stepping up to help his friends, no matter what."

Natsu said, "You don't hate me?"

She shrugged. "Why would I? My feelings were hurt when you ran off, but I didn't think it was because you were being a jerk on purpose. Losing someone you love is hard. I know everyone leans on you because you're so strong, but sometimes, you've got to lean on somebody else. I'd like to be that somebody else."

Lucy held him against her chest.

Then she started laughing again.

"It was really stressful, Lucy. Like a person came out of Levy. A whole person. It looked like it hurt so much. There was blood and sorts of other smells. Levy has powerful instincts though, it was like dragonforce except instead of pure dragon power, it was pure mom power. She had superhuman strength, and growled, and yelled, and did this amazing thing."

"You're the best guy in the world, Natsu. You better not ever crawl out of my bed and not talk to me for days, because if I have to kill you, the world will have to go on without you and that would be a tragedy," she answered as she stood up.

"Hey, come back here!"

Lucy said, "I have something for you."

Natsu noticed something huge leaning against the wall by her closet, and she picked up the big painter's canvas and turned it around.

"A lot of us saw Igneel. So we got together, and we wrote down everything we could remember about how he looked and we asked Reedus to paint this picture. It's maybe not perfect, but it's what we can do," she said, showing off the painting of Igneel.

It was actually really close to perfect, and in the painting, Igneel was breathing fire as he flew against a starry night sky.

Natsu went over and sat on the floor in front of it, staring intensely. "Dad…"

Lucy added, "We could hang it in the house so you'll always have a reminder that he's looking out for you."

Her boyfriend looked up at her. "This is amazing. I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I know how you feel."

"I realized a lot of really important things today. I felt really ashamed of my feelings, but I guess even strong wizards know how a broken heart feels. Even people like Gajeel and Laxus."

"That's just part of being human. People get hurt."

The dragonslayer nodded as he stood and gently put the canvas back against the wall. "So…can we do it or am I on punishment or something? I understand if I am, but I'm still going to wiggle my way out of it."

"Are you going to be here when I wake up tomorrow?"

"Maybe I'll just follow you everywhere you go for the rest of our lives. We'll go on jobs together, eat together, sleep together, take baths together….hey, is that a thing? Can I get naked in the bathtub with you?" he asked.

Lucy playfully pushed him. "Do you want to?"

"I want to be naked everywhere with you. I had a thought the other day about being like that in a weird place, like there were all these bookshelves and books everywhere."

His girlfriend said, "That was the library, Natsu. We went there to research for your house. I thought you seemed really spaced out."

"I don't really like reading and somehow my mind just drifted."

"Your mind drifted to us having sex in the library."

Natsu shrugged. "I believe in achieving my dreams, Lucy. Aren't you the one who tells everyone to believe in themselves and their dreams and they'll happen? It's detailed. You have your legs wrapped around me and for some reason you're wearing that maid outfit just no underwear. I push you up against a big shelf of books and we're standing up, books are flying everywhere."

The blonde put her hands on her hips. "Let me just review again. I took you to the library so we could do important research and instead of helping, you sat there and had an extremely involved and incredibly lewd sexual fantasy instead."

"…but then after a while, I burn up the maid's outfit and we get on one of those big tables and you sit on top of me and—"

"Natsu, what is wrong with you?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe you should try and research it in a book. We could go to the library."

Lucy said, "I love books, Natsu. The library is a safe place for books. I don't even think I can take you there, because I feel like if I do, you're going to sit there with your mouth open and that spaced-out look on your face. And everyone's going to think it's because you don't like reading, but I will know the truth."

"If you refuse to take me to any place that I've ever had a thought like that, there would be nowhere left for us to go," he admitted.

"Really? You've had fantasies about…I don't know. Galuna Island?"

Natsu said, "You'd be dressed up in the tribal clothes of the villagers, and then we'd go up to that big creepy temple and—"

"The guild?"

"The hot tub, the pool, that closet where the cleaning supplies are, and oh, _the library_."

"Tower of Heaven?"

"I feel like a few bites of Etherion would turn into some warrior god of making Lucy scream."

"The hardware store?"

"On a big stack of lumber, bent over."

"Duke Everlue's mansion?"

"Had a library."

Lucy stared at him. "I feel like you have some really weird and gross vendetta against books. Like you want to go to where they go to be safe and ruin them. Have you…been having these fantasies about different ways and places the whole time I've known you?"

"No, just for the past few days. I didn't know how bad I wanted it until that one night where you teased me and then we went to bed."

Using hand gestures to help make her point she said, "You, Natsu, went through all your memories of us over the past few days while you were sulking, and retroactively created sexual fantasies for all the places we've ever gone together."

"You're making it sound crazier than it is."

"I don't think that is possible."

Natsu shrugged. "Don't you ever think about something and decide you would have made a different decision if you knew what was going to happen?"

"Of course. But that's always about the possibility of 'what better decision could I have made' and not 'what if I could go back in time and have sex in every place I had happy and innocent memories,'" she said.

The dragonslayer pointedly answered, "Do you _not_ think that Galuna Island would have been more fun if we did it in the temple? That makes it the same thing as trying to think about how you could have made better decisions."

Lucy said, "I really get that you had all this weird stuff sort of pent up in you and you're ridiculously horny. If I just try to bang it out of you, are you going to calm down?"

"One of the few things Igneel ever said to me about girls is that once lit, the flame of desire can never be extinguished. You're asking how much fuel you can throw on it to put it out so I think that after all these years together, you don't know how fire works and it's a little disappointing."

"Shut up, Natsu, you're getting on my nerves."

"What are you going to do about it at this point?"

The blonde walked up to him, slid her hand down the front of his pants, and wrapped her hand around him.

Natsu took in a sharp breath and held it as her hand moved.

"I'm sorry, did you say something? Awww…widdle dwagon boy 'can't words' again."

She fell to her knees and pulled at his waistband.

Natsu did not understand why she felt this was a punishment and only felt encouraged to continue behaviors he knew annoyed her. It was true that he fell into a state of 'can't words,' especially when she started using her mouth, but side effects of having Lucy put him in her mouth still involved her actually doing it and was amazing.

Before he knew it they were on the bed throwing clothes and kisses and tongues all over the place. If the first time had been cautious, they now knew that being together felt great and they knew how to make it work.

They went for two rounds instead of one, then another one after that, and again after a short rest.

When they finally finished, Natsu warm and fuzzy on the inside instead of what had happened before, so they lay there together and talked softly for almost an hour before they were at it again.

As Lucy was about to drift off, he asked, "Do you want to unlock your momforce someday?"

She had to think back to their earlier conversation to remember what this was. "Not now."

"Someday. Like the distant future."

"I don't know. I didn't dream about it when I was a kid and I've never like had a moment where I wanted one. But when we're laying here thinking about it, I think about how sweet and adorable you are sometimes and I think it might be fun to see you be a dad."

Natsu said, "I don't ever think about stuff like that. I had this random stray thought recently though where I thought about you having a little belly like Levy did and it fired me up a little."

"Natsu, ewww…Was it during your fantasy tour of our previously beautiful history as friends?"

"Maybe?"

Lucy replied, "I feel like the real demon in you wasn't END, it was this sex beast you've been hiding all along and I unsealed and unleashed it on the world."

"Not really the world, just yourself. You don't complain when it's in you. I think you just pretend to be annoyed cause you don't want to admit you love it."

After he turned out the light, she suddenly burst out into giggles.

"What, Luigi?"

"I'm sorry, I just remembered you and Laxus helped deliver a baby. I just want to know like what faces you made and how weird you were. Levy has nothing but good things to say about you, but I just…to be a fly on the wall…"

"Goodnight, Luigi."

She kept giggling.

"You want to go visit Galuna Island? I was just thinking of that place recently."

"Hell no. Go to sleep, Natsu."

**-Reviews Welcome!—**

**Super special thanks to Anna5949, valerioux, Ember Reverie, and Random-Gaurdian for taking a moment to review. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.**


	4. Adventures in Arrested Development

Everything hurt.

Lucy sank under the hot water in the gigantic bathtub Natsu made for her per his promise. The still-unfinished house had come along nicely, but they'd run out of money right around the time it was time to go on another job anyway.

Between the two of them, they had enough cash to pay her rent and put about as much toward the house. Tonight, there wasn't going to be any work, because she'd fallen off a roof during their job and everything hurt.

She shifted so she was leaning over the edge of the tub, trying to find a position that didn't hurt her back.

Adventures were fun, and she truthfully enjoyed the rush of fighting. The bad part was what came afterward: bruises and strained muscles, best case scenario.

She heard a splash and said, "No funny business, Mister."

"Where does it hurt?"

"Mostly my back."

Natsu put his hands on her bare back, and she felt them start to get hot. He brought them to just shy of burning her and started to rub slowly. His fingertips felt along her muscles for tightness as he kneaded her tender body tenderly.

"Does it hurt when you breathe deep?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"You'll be okay. Leave this to me."

"You're really a sweet guy, Natsu."

He kissed her shoulder and continued his work of treating her sore back, shoulders, arms, and legs by massaging pure heat into her body. It was something akin to a hot rock massage, except a thousand levels higher.

By the time she leaned back on him, she felt like her body was made out of happy goo and not pure suffering.

He helped her up, and then helped her dry off and get to bed in his new 'big boy bed,' a big fluffy bed in his room that had been their last major investment. This was still her first time to stay over for the whole night, and while she did miss the atmosphere of her apartment, the house in the woods was coming along.

Maybe it didn't have real floors installed yet except the lava rock, but there were no longer wires or pipes all over the place and none of the walls were open. The kitchen had its own sink, which was some sort of milestone for them. All of it was progress. Slow but important.

When she woke up the next morning, it was to the smell of food.

A little rest and the most incredible massage ever left her feeling a lot better, and when Natsu breakfast in bed in the form of scrambled eggs, she smiled at him.

"Eggs are the best food ever if your muscles are hurt," he said.

After she finished eating, she managed to get up and stretch. "I feel a lot better today. Thanks, Dr. Natsu. You're the best."

"You want to see something really cool?"

Lucy, who had slept in the buff, realized she didn't have any clothes at his house except the dirty ones she'd been wearing when they got home from the job, and Natsu had a perfect solution. There was one outfit at his place that would fit her: the maid outfit.

Since they were just hanging out around the house, she figured there would be no harm in it. Besides, he seemed weirdly preoccupied with it and she felt like he'd earned a little reward.

He gave her a rather intense stare as she dressed, and then once fully dressed, smirked a little.

"You look so naughty, Luigi."

"You love it, Natsu."

Natsu stopped at the refrigerator and cut up some fish in there into little filets. "A couple of years ago, Happy and me found a nest of baby eagles on the cliff. Every year we help the mom feed her babies."

Lucy followed him outside to the cliff edge, where he scaled down a little to land on a little ledge.

There was a huge nest filled with four very big, very ugly fuzzy baby birds, who yelled at the sight of Natsu.

Lucy winced as she climbed down to the little spot where he was.

Natsu held up one of the filets. "You just hold it over the mouth and they gobble it right up. Like this."

Lucy took one of the slices and held it up for one of the other babies to eat. "Okay, this is pretty awesome."

"Every year it's fun checking every day to see if the eggs have hatched. They're so ugly, right? But they'll be big and awesome in a few months."

A big eagle landed on the nest and screamed at Lucy until she offered the mama eagle the big piece of fish. The bird seemed intelligent as it ate and eyed Natsu as if to ask why he had brought another human by babies.

"It's okay. Lucy is so cool, Mom."

She shrieked at him.

"Okay, okay, we're leaving, sheesh," he said as he grabbed Lucy and jumped back up. "She's a tough mom. But this place is her home too, so we look out for her."

Happy had by then roused from sleep and groggily floated around the yard. "Too early…"

"It's ten in the morning, Happy," Lucy said.

Natsu tilted his head as he sniffed the air. "You mean too early or too early for our house to have a monster in it?"

"That one," Happy answered.

"Gildarts again?"

Natsu nodded. "Laxus is somewhere close too. Master too."

They went inside, and Gildarts was standing in the living room looking around. He looked at Lucy's outfit, and besides a visible effort not to laugh, didn't say anything about it.

"Oy Natsu, it's coming along. Looks good. Thank goodness for a woman's touch. You been hard at work or hardly working? Construction work is a man's great work," he said.

Natsu answered, "Then Lucy is a great man. She's really good at it."

Their front door opened again and this time, it was Laxus, who was holding Makarov like a sack of flour at one side.

"That's enough, you ungrateful brat, put me down now!" the guildmaster said.

Laxus dropped Makarov on the couch. "I wasn't going to push the wheelchair up that hill. Ain't nobody got time for that shit. What happened to the house that used to be here?"

"The giant from that big battle stomped it," Happy said.

"The hot one?" Laxus asked.

Natsu was also confused by the sudden visit, because basically no one ever came to his house except Gildarts. It was the first time that master had been there in years, and he didn't think Laxus had ever been there even though he seemed to know about the old house.

Makarov said, "I was hoping for a chance to speak to all of you away from the guild. We have a special job. It's important and I will need the four of you to work together."

Natsu sat on the floor and said, "Are you sure you're not here because you're nosy?"

"You've _barely _been at the guild," the old man complained.

He pointed to a stack of wood planks that were waiting to be turned into a floor. "I have too much wood for that. Before that, I had to lay some pipes. Lucy's been helping me."

Laxus snorted. "I bet she did."

Lucy decided to ignore this exchange and wondered what kind of apocalypse level event warranted both secrecy and the decision to involve Gildarts, Laxus, and Natsu on the same job. More importantly, she had no idea why Makarov somehow put her into this group.

"Uhhh…Master? I'm not exactly a charter member of the he-monster club," she mentioned.

Makarov said, "I'm not trying to summon the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Someone has to be the charming one. The Magic Council _only_ allowed this job to come to our guild because of you."

She pointed at herself. "Me?"

"Your father traded extensively with a country called Aegis on the other side of the world, did he not? There are very few people who speak that language in Fiore, none of them wizards. They use different letters, their language is difficult. Their culture is different. There are diplomats in Fiore that can assist, but…do you trust a stranger to explain Natsu to the world?" Makarov asked.

Lucy looked from one wizard to the other. "Let me get this straight. You want me to go with these three and try to help Aegis understand them. What then? Cross my fingers and hope they don't do anything to start a war while they're overseas in a country that is currently openly hostile to Fiore?"

"I wasn't going to put it that way, but yes," Makarov said.

She spoke again, this time speaking more slowly. "You want the dragon boys and the guy who can't be trusted to walk through his hometown without wrecking it to not cause an international incident. Because Gildarts will definitely turn some important building into a pile of immaculate cubes, Natsu will definitely burn down a town, a forest, and possibly, things not generally thought of as being flammable. I _think_ Laxus has some minimal amount of control over his powers, but he is a cultural misunderstanding waiting to happen. Is he able to visit a place without blowing up a church? No one knows!"

Natsu excitedly exclaimed, "Lucy, doesn't going on a job with Gildarts and Laxus sound like fun?"

"Does starting a war sound like something that's going to be fun for us? The one was enough for me," Lucy asked.

Laxus sat on the sofa next to his grandfather and crossed his legs. He eyed Lucy for a moment and then said, "Are we just not going to talk about what she's wearing?"

Gildarts asked, "What's there to talk about? Can't you just be happy for Natsu?"

"Blondie is so hot that if he wasn't a fire demon, she would _melt_ him. I don't even understand how Natsu hit so far out of his league.," Laxus complained.

Gildarts answered, "Because Natsu isn't an asshole with a bad personality."

Makarov nodded. "Try being nice and you'll get your own sexy maid."

Natsu smiled. "Having a girl is great! She goes on adventures with me, and helps me in my house, and we go on jobs together, and some other stuff. It's the best!"

Laxus glared at him and sarcastically answered, "Newsflash, guy having tons of sex with hot girl who dresses up for him feels kinda great lately. Says he has 'tons of wood.'"

Lucy put up her hands. "Okay, I quit. I can handle Natsu all day. Natsu and Gildarts? Okay. Natsu and Laxus? Whatever. All three of them together? Law of least common denominator occurs, and you know what? These guys can go lower than I ever thought possible. They're like cockroaches with superpowers."

Makarov said, "Also, the pay would be ten million jewel per person."

Natsu said, "We'd have more than enough to finish the house, right? You could pay our rent and we could buy some more stuff. How bad could it be? Plus, we'd get to go on an adventure with Gildarts and Laxus! C'mon…you know it'll be great, right?"

Lucy sighed. "Fine. We _could_ use the money. I would like to use the winter to train, and if we're not running all over the place on jobs, it would be nice. But I'm going on the record that if a world war breaks out, it's not my fault."

Once Makarov got passed that, he started explaining what the job was. It was actually very serious, even though the wizards involved were having good fun antagonizing each other. The danger was sky-high, which is why Fairy Tail was sending that much strength to put down the threat, a nest of unknown but ancient monsters that somehow been sealed up underground in the nation of Aegis until a major earthquake nearly ripped the country in half a few weeks before.

Aegis, which had grown into an adversarial nation over the past few years, hadn't been able to deal with the problem, sot they reached out to Fiore, because they needed monsters. The fear was that the creatures could fly long distances, and that they'd reproduce and move to other countries.

Gildarts believed they were likely Blood Wyvern, which had become extinct during the period of dragons because dragons killed them. Since there weren't really dragons left like that anymore, it would be a problem if they started repopulating the earth.

So yes, the future of the world was at stake.

Makarov said, "You'll need to be careful. Maybe discreet."

"That means code names, right?" Natsu answered, his face brightening, "I have the perfect one for Gildarts. He can be Gingerbread!"

Gildarts asked, "Lucy can be Key Girl."

Laxus said, "That makes Natsu what, Fire Boy?"

"That means it's Lucy's turn to pick a nickname and only Laxus is left," Natsu exclaimed.

Lucy said, "How about we just not…do any of this?"

"C'mon, Lucy! You know lots of words!" Natsu answered.

She thought for a minute and shrugged. "Fine. Laxus can be Shock Tart."

Makarov named Lucy the team leader and gave her the advance funds for traveling, a sign he knew there was some concerns with having that specific group travel together. She felt a little irritated that the men were expected to be the heavy lifters and she was just there to keep them out of trouble, but she wasn't as strong as any of them were.

Her back was starting to ache a little again after they finished talking about the job and the nosy, opinionated visitors finally left, but she still had to get ready.

She went home, did her laundry, packed for the massive job and tried calm her nerves.

Natsu had his own stuff to take care of, and genuinely tried not to suffocate her. It was a balancing act, wanting to be together all the time, yet knowing that was probably annoying. Plus, he didn't want to spend so much time with her that he didn't have time with Happy anymore.

Besides, missing her a little made it sweet when they made their way over to each other.

But really, who was he kidding?

By late afternoon, he and Happy were stalking her like it was a completely normal and acceptable thing to do.

"I know you're there," she called.

He ran to catch up to her. "Fancy meeting you here, Luigi."

"A total coincidence?"

"You know how it is. Living in a small down and all."

Lucy said, "You mean you missed me."

"Nah."

"Okay, sure, Fire Boy."

Happy said, "Are you excited for our job?"

"We all know that I am not."

"Is the end of the world not going to exciting enough for you?" the exceed asked.

Lucy said, "You know, I always thought the end of the world would involve a meteor. Instead it's going to be powerful men with poor emotional development. Life is full of surprises."

Natsu laughed. "C'mon. It won't be that bad. It's also going to be fun to go there, right?"

"I've heard it's really beautiful, actually. I mean, maybe less because of creatures, but probably still fun," she answered.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"Aegis? It's in the other hemisphere. Really far away."

"No, I mean right now. I've been following you for a while and I have no idea what you're doing," he said.

Lucy said, "I'm going to Toy World to get a few things for Amara. I want to go visit the Levy and the baby before we leave. You can come if you want, but no rough play with Gajeel. Trust me, Levy is not in the mood. She hasn't been getting a lot of sleep and she will kill you."

"I don't think I could win against Momforce Levy."

Happy said, "I missed that, was she scary?"

The blonde asked, "How did Happy miss the baby being born when he was there?"

"I was taking a nap and I'm not sorry!" the cat answered.

Lucy shrugged. "Sounds like you were a real help."

"I helped exactly as much as I would have wanted to, and I have no regrets."

They came to the toy store, and Lucy ventured over to the baby section to be overtaken by the cuteness of tiny shoes and little dresses. Natsu stayed close to her for maybe fifteen seconds, and then fifteen seconds after that had already found a display of play swords that he and Happy were swinging at each other.

It seemed somehow normal that Natsu would enjoy playing with toys made for kids since he was very lighthearted and imaginative. Plus, Lucy knew he probably hadn't been able to play much when he was a little boy, and this made him enjoy playing a lot more.

Besides, she was good at pretending she didn't know him.

Five minutes in, every kid in the store had gravitated to Natsu's Ultimate Toy World Championship, in which he allowed them to beat up on him and he pretended they were really injuring him. They were clinging to his arms and legs and back and he was seemingly overcome by their strength.

"Happy, I can't hold 'em back, they're too strong!"

"Keep fighting Natsu, I believe in you!" Happy added, playing right along.

Natsu fell back into a mountain of stuffed toys and said, "I am…defeated…"

Lucy looked up at him periodically while she picked out a few outfits and some baby toys for Amara Redfox. It was heartwarming, but then again Natsu was one of the kindest and most wholesome people in the world. Sometimes he got on her nerves, but other times he was really awesome.

She heard one of the workers at the store say, "Talk about an ovary explosion…that guy, am I right?"

Her coworker giggled and they had a nice talk about how hot Natsu was and how powerful his cuteness with children was.

Lucy made a few final, haphazard selections and called, "Natsu, are you ready?"

"Sure, I just thought you were doing that thing where you pretend that we've never met," he yelled from the other side of the store.

He ran back to her quickly, and after she paid for her gifts, they went outside and Natsu asked, "So you didn't like those women talking about me."

Lucy sighed. "You and your hearing."

"So…what's an ovary?"

His girlfriend shook her head in resignation. "It's a body part women have."

"On the inside or outside?"

"Natsu, you've seen every inch of my body, do you think I have unknown organ hanging out outside my body? That's just weird. It's just men who do that. Everything just…out. And hanging. Do you ever think about how weird that is?"

Natsu answered, "Do you ever think it's weird to us that yours are all inside? Girls have some sort of fleshy tunnel and other human beings come into the world by coming out of it."

"If it's so weird to you, maybe you can just stay away from it from now on."

"If your body is weird it just matches the rest of you and I like you."

Lucy said, "Insulting, and yet somehow kind of sweet."

Natsu put his arm around her as Happy caught up to them and flew alongside Natsu to the Redfox house where a near zombie-like Levy opened the door.

"Lucy!"

"Levy!"

As Lucy said, she looked tired as she showed them into the living room in her robe.

Gajeel was sound asleep on the couch, snoring loudly with the newborn on his chest.

Levy called his name a few times and he didn't move at all, and then his nose twitched, and he suddenly opened his eyes.

"Salamander!"

The mother of his child and fiancé emitted a somewhat evil-sounding laugh. "You can't hear me calling you, but you can wake up to pick a fight with Natsu?"

Gajeel withered into a position of retreat as she stood and held the baby on his shoulder. "It's not like that. My sense of smell is just different. Right Natsu?"

"That's a stupid thing to say, and it doesn't make sense," Natsu answered.

Levy took the baby from him and said, "You two can go outside and be idiots there. Or anywhere else, really. I'm tired…"

Natsu flexed his muscles. "Let us help you."

"Do you know anything about babies? The way you flexed your muscles kind of makes it seem like you're just talking out of your huge firey asshole," Gajeel asked.

"Nope! Lucy does. She's a girl and stuff."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "Wrong again, Natsu. Started the night off with stalking, redeemed yourself by being cute, and now you're just burning all your good points to ash."

They sat together in the living room, and Gajeel and Natsu made quite a show of not ever making eye contact, which Levy and Lucy ignored because it was normal. At least, normal according to Gajeel and Natsu.

Levy said, "Natsu, I didn't get a chance to really thank you for everything you did. It meant a lot and Amara is glad too. So is Gajeel, but he'll probably not ever admit it."

"Tch!"

"I'm glad everyone is okay. But let's not ever do that again," he said.

"Agreed!"

Natsu almost regretted coming along, because trying not to look at Gajeel for five minutes was easy, but an hour was another then, and then two. He didn't even understand how the two women really had that much to talk about since they saw each other every day, but Natsu didn't express his impatience because Gajeel didn't and he wouldn't be beaten by Gajeel.

After two cups of tea and half a box of cookies, and the baby making the rounds as they all took turns holding her, Levy said, "Gajeel. It's time to talk about that."

Gajeel just stiffened but, but he finally looked over at Natsu, who erupted from his seat and exclaimed, "You blinked! I win!"

Lucy's dark scowl was enough to scare him right back onto the sofa.

Levy said, "Sometimes, life doesn't go the way we want it to. Things happen. Things that are sad. We're wizards, so our work is dangerous. Gajeel and I have done a lot of talking, and we would like you two to be Amara's godparents. I think you're definitely in it to win it, and I think you're the right people. Gajeel wanted someone who could teach her about what real dragons were like, and I wanted someone who could help her fall in love with books."

Natsu asked, "Godparents? What does that even mean?"

Gajeel said, "If something bad happens and Levy and I aren't around, you'd take Amara so she doesn't end up out there alone. Also, screw you, salamander. If there was anyone else in the world…"

Lucy was about to tell them that they'd have to seriously think about it since it was such a huge commitment, but before she could Natsu said, "Okay, but just so you know, if you kick it, I'm going to teach her fire magic."

"That's not even how it works!" he argued.

"I'll make it work. I still have lightning, so we can definitely share powers. I'll just give her my fire. So you better not ever die unless you want Amara to be a fire kid."

Their heads slammed together, fists in the air. "You wouldn't _dare_!"

"If you don't want it to happen, _don't die_."

Levy gave them a halfhearted smile and said to Lucy, "They have such a weird way of expressing themselves."

Lucy nodded. "Tell me about it. Somehow not the worst conversation of the day. Gildarts, Laxus, Natsu, and Master were all over at Natsu's house earlier. I've never seen anything that idiotic in my life. I don't really get why strong men can't just talk to other strong men like normal people."

"It's interesting since Gajeel is so sensitive when we're by ourselves."

Gajeel paused from his headbutting session and said, "Don't tell them about that!"

Lucy smiled. "It's okay. Natsu is the same way. It's really sweet when we're alone and then we get around other people and he's just…the same old Natsu. I bet if they could just sit down and talk about your feelings, things would be better."

Natsu incredulously answered, "That's a stupid idea. I want to punch him out, not listen to him cry."

"Yeah, we want to fight!" Gajeel echoed.

"Well, men are kind of stupid," Levy said with a yawn, "and they need to get over themselves. All men. Everywhere. And immediately. Women have been dealing with this stuff since the dawn of time and you've had enough time to grow up. I'm so sleepy…"

Lucy considered this their queue to leave, and after saying their farewells, she decided to sleepover at Natsu's place again.

Morning seemed like it came too soon, and when she got up, Natsu was teaching Romeo about feeding the eaglets, having appointed the boy to this duty for the duration of their job.

They ventured with Happy to the train station as Lucy tried to come to grips that this job was real, it was actually happening, and Makarov had some earnest expectation that she'd be able to keep three genuinely insane and incredibly powerful wizards in line.

Since they had some of the money in advance, Lucy booked a large compartment for them on the train, knowing they were going to have two huge problems: the length of the trip to the harbor and the fact there were two dragonslayers in the group.

Gildarts and Laxus were already seated, and Natsu and Lucy sat across from them with Happy in Lucy's lap.

The train started to move, and Natsu held his stomach and burped, and Laxus swallowed a little vomit.

Gildarts said, "Are you serious?"

"We can't help it," Natsu weakly answered.

Lucy unzipped her smallest back and took out a bag just in time for Natsu to throw up in it. Then the sight of him throwing up caused Laxus to also vomit, so both dragonslayers were spewing into Lucy's bag while she looked away.

"This trip is going to be so much fun," Lucy complained under her breath.

Gildarts glared in shocked disgust and made a chopping motion, hitting Laxus at the base of his spine and rendering him unconscious instantly. "Take a nap, Shock Tart."

Natsu stepped over Laxus as he limply fell on the floor. "Me next, me next!"

The old wizard repeated this motion, sending Natsu out of consciousness. He threw the puke bag out the window, then put Natsu and Laxus together on the same bench, posing their bodies out of boredom—arms wrapped around each other, with Natsu's head tucked under Laxus'.

This left Lucy sitting next to him with Happy, staring at snuggling, unconscious dragonslayers.

Gildarts nearly immediately left to go get liquor from the dining car and Lucy was left to look after the sleeping wizards.

Was it funny? Yes.

Was it also going to be an issue when they woke up? Yes.

Was Gildarts just going to stand around and laugh while Lucy was left hoping they didn't blow the train off the tracks? Yes.

This was more or less how she'd expected the trip to start, so as she sat there and pondered how weird this job was going to be, she reminded herself of all the money they would have once it was over and all felt okay again.

-Reviews Welcome-

Special thanks to Wolf957, valerioux, Ember Reverie, Jazinee18, Anna5949, and Random-Gaurdian for taking a moment to review. I really appreciate it and you guys are awesome.


	5. Adventures in Because No

Natsu practically danced the first step off the last boat.

"I'm revivied!"

The trip had been terrible; if nauseated Natsu was irritating, there were no words to how sour, vulgar, and cranky the other dragonslayer was. The only relief she'd had from the two of them were the times when Gildarts put them to sleep so he wouldn't have to listen to Natsu whine or hear Laxus' Exposition of Interesting Curse Words.

"Why does my head hurt?" Natsu mumbled.

"Mine too." Laxus rubbed the back of his head.

Lucy said, "Gildarts has been punching you two in the brain stem pretty regularly. It's been nine days since we left Ishgar."

"That doesn't seem right…" Natsu said.

Lucy shrugged. "You've probably both sustained some brain damage."

Gildarts took a deep breath of coastal air and dismissed the concern. "Who could even tell the difference? Come along, little boys, Daddy needs a beer in a proper tavern. Lucy deserves a drink too, dealing with you two vomit geysers all this time."

"Thanks for not helping except to punch them in the brain," she sarcastically answered.

As they made their way across the dock, soldiers suddenly came from everywhere, wielding magic inhibition weapons.

Lucy quietly asked, "Is this a real threat to us?"

"Of course not. Three of the four of us could handle this on our own," Laxus whispered.

She throw her elbow into this abdomen so hard she heard air forced from his lungs. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Natsu leaned in. "You guys need to grow up."

Lucy said, "Thanks Natsu. I'm so glad you're here to see me at my lowest."

"What's your problem?" her boyfriend asked.

"Do you two know what how awful you are when you're travelling?"

Natsu answered, "I don't remember anything that happens when I'm feeling sick. Just that sometimes you're real pissed when we get wherever we're going."

Gildarts gave Lucy a pat on the head. "Bless your patience."

"It's not patience. She's going to kick me in the stomach when nobody's looking," Natsu complained.

Laxus said, "Her kick is probably her strongest move."

"Yeah, she practices it on my stomach daily. 'Natsu this, Natsu that, Lucy kick.'"

Lucy shoved Natsu off the dock and felt droplets splash her as he hit the water. "You got me wet, Natsu!"

The older wizards watched this: Natsu pissed off Lucy for nonsense reasons, Natsu complaining about her being violent, Lucy throwing him into the water, Lucy yelling at him for getting her wet…

Gildarts said, "Oh, I get it now."

"Right. You think he's the problem, but then you realize they're both crazy," Laxus said with a nod. "She pushed him in and she'd mad she got splashed. Like she wanted him to break the laws of science or something."

"Natsu and science being in the same thought is silly in the first place," Gildarts answered.

Lucy growled, "I'm right here. And you know what? I'm a much bigger person than you, Laxus."

"Only in the ass, blondie."

The conversation was ended as the enemy soldiers drew in and Lucy charged across the dock, riled up. Despite being sent to be the diplomat and translator for the group, her first act was to point her finger at the apparent leader of the group and give him a positively deafening earful in another language, presumably about charging at them with weapons.

The man seemed insulted at first, and then as Lucy went on, withered like some delicate flower subjected to blistering desert winds. The weapons were lowered, and he bowed.

"We are sorry," he said, in broken Ishgari.

"You can speak some Ishgari?" Lucy asked, switching over to her native tongue. "Then good. Let me say again in my own language, you better not ask us for help and then come at us with weapons. We're here to help you, and we're not going to tolerate an approach of armed caution. Got that?"

They spoke to Lucy in Aegian, and she turned to them and said, "They're taking us to a room to stay for the night. Then in the morning, up to where the monsters came from."

The soldiers were wearing symbols on their uniforms that reminded them of the icons seem at Kardia Cathedral. This country was a religious oligarchy of sorts, not a theocracy. Lucy had explained the difference on the way, but religious zealots in charge of anything was something every wizard had heard about a thousand tired times. It always went poorly.

They were taken to customs, where their bags were dumped out and searched for illegal contraband.

Natsu got on well enough, but Gildarts' bag had nothing in it but a change of clothes, one can of beans, and thirty fetish pornographic magazines with worn out pages.

Natsu tilted his head. "Oh, hot giants are a thing?"

Lucy put her hand over his eyes. "Shhhhh…don't think about it."

The inspectors spoke to her, and she turned and said, "They're going to burn it with fire and would like a priest to help you repent from your sins and counsel you on living a good and moral lifestyle. I said you'd do it."

Laxus went next and had nothing particularly scandalous in his bag. He had novels, three of them from a fantasy series Lucy thought was a little nerdy for him.

When it was Lucy's turn, they emptied her bag, and went through everything she had, paying close attention to her lacy panties. She was incredibly embarrassed by this, but right when she was about to start screaming about it, she started to feel a certain blood-boiling aura coming from somebody in the party and looked up to see Natsu giving the inspector the kind of look he gave to his worst enemies.

The man who met them on the dock who could speak a little Ishgari asked, "Would you who are not in moral peril like to pray to God?"

Natsu answered, "I don't believe in God. I'm hungry. So I believe in food."

The man didn't fight the issue any further, and once they'd packed all their stuff back up and Gildarts had time to repent from his rampant sexual deviance with a priest, they continued their journey to the inn.

Their room was big, with four beds, a little eating area, a living area, and a bathroom, but it wasn't particularly fancy. It was clean and they were tired from travelling, so anything was welcome.

They took turns showering and getting ready for bed and the innkeeper brought them a big meal.

Lucy ate before her shower, so she was last, and after washing her hair, was devastated to learn her blow dryer's power plug didn't fit the outlet.

She came out in her pajamas, towel-drying her hair, and found the guys were sitting around the table with dominoes.

"Chickenfoot?"

"Yep. They confiscated the cards that were in my bag, because they're evil or something. You know how to play Forty Two? We could do pairs." Gildarts asked.

Lucy nodded. "Sure. But uhhh, if I jammed my blow dryer plug into these weird wall-sockets, what would happen?"

Gildarts and Natsu stared at her blankly, but Laxus said, "Is that a question for me?"

"Are you or are you not the guy that electrocutes people, places, and things?"

Laxus said, "I'm not an electrician, but that seems like a stupid idea."

"Fine." Lucy grumbled as she sat down at the table across from Natsu and all was quiet except the clinking of shuffling dominoes.

It was strange for the celestial summoner to do something so mundane with this group, because they were some of the most powerful wizards on the continent, maybe in the world.

Once Natsu had the rules of the game more or less figured out, they played a round. While they were reshuffling, Gildarts asked, "Do you really not believe in God, Natsu?"

"Why would I? I know there are things out there that are more powerful than us than come down here and cause problems. I don't believe there's some giant dude up there that loves us and has any kind of opinions about what the world is supposed to be like. Doubt very seriously if someone like that does exist he tells people to start wars and kill each other," he answered.

Lucy said, "I don't really know how I feel. I want to believe there's some order to the universe."

Gildarts answered, "Personally, I don't care. I'm going to live my life until I run out of life to live."

Laxus shrugged. "I agree with Natsu. There are definitely things out there. I don't think they are benevolent or care at all about humans."

Natsu added, "Places run by religious people who claim they're doing god's work tend to be places where mass graves are, right?"

That was definitely true, and wasn't even a point worth arguing. Fiore was a largely secular state due to the rise of wizardry, but it had been born from religious conflict and many of the countries in Ishgar still struggled with those issues.

Lucy said, "You have to think if Zeref hadn't been cursed by Ankserum that he just would have gotten old and died. That curse is what allowed him to kill like he did. Wasn't there ever a point that this high and mighty god realized he was punishing everyone on earth?"

Gildarts said, "Wasn't Zeref's sin not being evil, but daring to make decisions like a god? Same with Mavis. They didn't give respect to the laws of the gods. Mavis wasn't doing anything wrong. She just had a single moment where she used magic like she was a god instead of a human. I assume it's more like 'we don't care what happens as long as you live and die like filthy little humans. Anyway, there's no reason to dwell on it."

They went back to their game and Lucy asked, "Can we just talk about the _Skysails_ series? I saw the books in your bag! Who do you think Sara is?"

Laxus slumped down. "Eh? She's obviously the Druid's daughter."

"No!"

"Yes, that's why she couldn't go in the sheiki temple, and the reason the unknown assailant kept trying to kill her."

Lucy said, "It's because she's the chosen one?"

"She's the villain. She's going to kill the little girl and possess her body. Watch, at the end of everything, she's the last enemy. And people will be sad because the knight loved her like an idiot."

Natsu stared. "Who is what? Is someone in danger?"

Lucy said, "She just needs the sword from her father."

"She's the villain, she's going to murder everyone, and no one ever needs any strength from their parents. The whole orphan genre is about how worthless family bonds are. The whole theme is that family is garbage and love has no meaning," Laxus answered.

"Yeah, I think you're projecting a little bit there. You think self-determination and family are mutually exclusive literary concepts?" Lucy asked.

"Obviously. You're either floating on what you inherited or what you've made yourself. One would assume a girl who grew up in a castle would understand that."

Gildarts said, "Look Natsu, nerds!"

"Ha. Nerds. Lucy is a nerd," Natsu echoed.

Lucy answered, "Calling someone a nerd isn't an insult. It's like telling someone they're smarter than you and expecting them to be sad about it."

Happy jumped down on the table and swung his claws in the air. "Lucy is claws out for you, Gildarts. I think she wants to duel!"

"Why do people call you Happy when you just make everyone mad?" Lucy answered, pushing him off the table.

Gildarts asked, "Did you want a duel?"

"No, of course not. I'm not a monster."

Gildarts said, "You keep thinking like that and it'll never happen. I'm keep sensing that you've got a massive amount of untapped potential. Celestial spirit summoning has proven to be capable of bending time. That's not something I've seen you do."

"I don't know how."

"I've seen you using it as ability type magic recently. I've never heard of that before. How does it work?"

Lucy put her keys on the table. "So each of my keys is sort of like a bond I have that crosses the barrier between our world and the celestial realm. The silver keys are like strings, but the gold keys are like unbreakable chains with an anchor. That's why it takes so much magic to summon a spirit with a gold key. My understanding of my magic has changed a lot over the past couple of years. There's a lot more to it than just summoning."

"You should go see the old man," Gildarts suggested.

"Master Makarov?"

"Nah, the old old man. Warrod."

Natsu said, "The tree guy?"

Gildarts nodded. "Ability-type wizards have different bodies than holder-type. You've got ability-type potential, but the body of a normie. I would assume that limits you significantly. If Natsu didn't have a body adapted to his magic, he'd probably turn to ash. Same with anyone using a higher-order power. Warrod is the living authority on that type of stuff."

Laxus said, "You summoned the ruler of another realm to this world, so it's obviously ridiculous for you to be playing dress up games and fighting by proxy at this point."

"Rude," Lucy answered.

They played well into the night, and Lucy found a strangely familial comfort in the group. When they were with their regular team, they were a bunch of young adults fighting the world to become strong and find their place. Here, the dynamic was a little different. Gildarts was like some lovable but weird uncle, and Laxus was an annoying older brother.

Most interesting to her was how relaxed Natsu was. Usually, if they weren't at home, he was hyper aware, memorizing scents and listening and looking around. He was a natural and relentless protector, but in the presence of stronger wizards, he was the one who was protected. It was the second of stunning insights into Natsu that night, first, that he had zero faith in a higher power, and second, that sometimes he didn't want to be the strongest.

For all the times he charged in, demanded fights, and struggled to the top, there was a part of him that was comfortable with being under someone else's wing. Natsu was happy to spend time like this with people he looked up to, and she actually enjoyed it too. They honestly weren't terrible company all the time, but when they were bad, they were very bad.

When it got late enough, they went to bed, in four small, relatively closely spaced separate beds.

Lucy was already getting used to having Natsu next to her in bed, so she felt a bit lonely even though she could hear him breathing. While she tried her best to fall asleep, she rolled over on her side and found Natsu was in the same position, facing her, watching her trying to get to sleep. There was just enough light in the dark room that she could see a little glimmer from his eyes, and the outline of his hand as he reached out for her.

She stretched her hand out for his, held it for a minute and then coaxed herself to sleep.

Natsu waited for everyone else to go to sleep and then just relocated himself to Lucy's bed. Was it tiny? Yes, but they were grand masters at sleeping in small beds. Even in their huge bed at his home, he still slept on top of her and most of the bed was empty.

When Lucy awoke the next morning, she was sweaty from having his unusually warm body on hers all night. She could hear at least one other person snoring, so she didn't want to wake anyone up by yelling and throwing him out of the bed, although she was sure he deserved it. The little beds were obviously made to fit one person only, yet she woke up with Natsu and Happy all over her like that was just the way it was supposed to me.

And maybe it was, but she was hot and annoyed. Lucy tried to get out from under him while he snored in her face, but he was a clinger and held her in place even in his sleep until she finally managed to slip from his grasp and fall silently yet gracelessly to the floor.

When she stood up, she found Gildarts sitting at the table with coffee, leaving the Exceed and the two dragonslayers still snoring.

He poured her a cup as she made her way over to him, and said, "You guys could have pushed your beds together," he said.

Lucy answered, "That's just how Natsu sleeps. If we were sleeping on the biggest bed in the world, he'd still do that. No sense of boundaries."

"I saw him try to hold onto you even in his sleep. You two are pretty cute."

She blushed as she quickly stirred more sugar than was necessary into her coffee and added some powdered cream. "Not to mention I don't want him crawling all over me while we're around other people."

Gildarts said, "It's fine. We're all grownups. Except Happy, I honestly don't know what he is."

"Besides an annoying bed intruder? I think he's like a child or something. Exceeds definitely become adults at some point," she answered.

The old wizard asked, "Are you happy? With Natsu, I mean. I know all relationships don't last forever, but I want to see you guys make it. Natsu considers you his soulmate and can no longer imagine any sort of future where you don't live by his side."

"Sometimes it feels like it's so good something is bound to go wrong. But Natsu and I have already gone through a lot together. Lots of happy times, but also a lot of really sad and dark times," she said.

Gildarts nodded. "Natsu is a better man than I am. He's been through a lot in his life. Incredible losses. Horrors no one should have to live through. More battles than most retiring wizards. He still has a big heart, capable of love, loyalty, filled with dreams. Please don't break it."

"I won't. I can't imagine my life without Natsu. I grew up really lonely. Natsu is really my first true friend, my best friend, the one person I can't really go without."

"You guys gonna get married?"

Lucy said, "Maybe someday."

"Have a family?"

"That's kind of a personal question, don't you think? Step one, obtain boyfriend, step two through three hundred, answer this question over and over. People ask it so casually, but it's just really a nice way to ask if I'm going to let my boyfriend impregnate me," she said, her cheeks burning from embarrassment.

Natsu sat up in the bed and mumbled, "Luigi, did you just ask me to do something?"

"I MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT!" she yelled, hurling the drawstring bag with the dominoes at his head, where it opened and spilled, sending them all over the room.

Laxus brushed some of them off his bed as he awoke. "Good fucking morning? There a reason you're screaming and throwing things?"

Gildarts said, "Relax. Lucy's just all excited about becoming a mother."

"She knocked up or something?"

Natsu's eyes widened. "What?! Why don't I know about this?! Are you serious, Lucy? Is it mine? Will you lay an egg?"

Lucy said, "Natsu? No. Just no. All of you…no. Especially no for you, Natsu. Do you think I would be having someone else's baby?"

"You're having my kid?"

"Back to my earlier point, NO. And if I did, it would not be an egg. You saw a baby be born, I don't even know why you would ask that question."

Natsu flinched. "You're going to do that gross thing Levy did?"

"Give birth? No. Because no."

The fire dragonslayer tilted his head. "So you're having a baby, but it's not going to do the gross thing from the gross place, and it's not going to be an egg. How's it going to get out?"

Laxus got up, hammered Natsu upside the head so he fell back down into the bed unconscious, and wandered over to the table in his boxers for a cup of coffee. As he slowly poured it, he despondently stared into the cup and said, "I reset your dragonslayer. It was malfunctioning. You are welcome."

"Leave me alone."

He added, "You two deserve each other."

"Is that a compliment?" Lucy asked.

"No. Because no," he answered, mimicking her.

Lucy said, "There is zero chance I care at all about anything you have to say."

Laxus answered, "Have you finished _Crimson Five_? I saw you reading it at the guild."

"I'm not finished yet. It's one of the best books I've read in a while. I'm so excited to see what happens at the end. The suspense has just been exquisite. I've heard there's a huge shock at the end."

"Benji dies. Eaten by King Raptorus. Rawr."

Lucy stared at him, slack jawed. "Did you just…did you just spoil it out of spite?"

"He cries out for the girl while he's dying and imagines the life they could have had. He shouts that she will always have his heart, but really King Raptorus had it. Delicious!"

She slammed her hand down on the table. "This is the evilest thing you have ever done!"

"Spoiling a book? Okay, Key Girl. Milestones…Millie moves to the farm and dies from pneumonia. The real main character is her kid, who is a sociopath and grows up to become a serial killer."

"STOP RUINING MY LITERARY EXPERIENCE, SHOCK TART," she threatened, "I don't even know how it is that you read. You just don't seem like someone who can read well. What kind of monster loves books enough to read them, and then ruins them for someone else?"

Laxus smugly added, "_Shrouded Peaks_, I saw you with that one. Creepy town of supernatural events and lots of evil characters…everyone is dead and they don't know it and the town is actually hell. The protagonist was sent there accidentally and has to find a way out but eventually gives up and embraces life as the damned."

Lucy took a deep breath. "Laxus, I hope something bad happens to you today."

Gildarts said, "What's more exciting than a couple of rowdy nerds at seven in the morning? Literally everything. I could be watching the grass outside slowly die, trying to scratch the arm I don't have anymore, or contemplating my own mortality."

Natsu stirred again, confused, but Happy was more than willing to catch him up on his first awakening. Once they'd recovered from confusion, bad jokes, and spoiled books, and got ready and had breakfast, they prepared to move on to the next leg of their journey.

He walked beside her and held her hand. "Hey. I miss you," he said.

"I've been right by your side," she answered.

Natsu let go of her hand long enough to wrap an arm around her and pull her in for a kiss.

Lucy blushed. "People are going to see us."

"I don't care."

"Are you having fun?" he asked.

Lucy nodded. "I actually am. I'm learning all kinds of new things. I guess it's good to get to know other people. We should go on jobs with different groups sometimes, maybe. But, just not these two at the same time ever again."

"What are you talking about, this is the best!"

When the got to the square where a carriage was supposed to pick them up and take them to the forbidden zone where the monsters had emerged, they learned it was late. This left the group with an hour to spare, and they were free to wander a little away from the group in the downtown area.

Natsu and Lucy settled down at a bench together at a nearby park while Happy joined Laxus for a game of 'ask Laxus one thousand questions,' which Lucy promised to pay him for in fish and Gildarts went to find a gift for Cana.

Natsu asked, "Is there anything you want?"

"Anything I want?"

"Yeah. Lately, you've been helping pay all the bills and putting a lot of money into our house. Or my house. Or the house, or whatever," he said, sputtering nervously at the end.

Lucy leaned on him and sighed contentedly. "I'm good, Natsu. And if you don't mind, I like the sound of 'our house.' I guess soon it'll be ready enough that we can maybe think about getting moving in for real. That's a big step. Do you think we're ready?"

"I think we are. It would make me really happy if you'd stay with me, Lucy. You wouldn't have to worry about rent anymore and even though you don't need my help or anything, I'd take really good care of you. I promise."

She held his hand and said, "Whenever you say things like that, it just makes me feel really warm and excited for the future. You know I'll take care of you too, right?"

"You've been looking out for me since the first day we met. I was hungry and you bought me a good meal. Remember?"

Lucy laughed. "I remember you made a really big show of your gratitude right in the middle of the restaurant."

"There just aren't lots of people who are really generous like that. Plus, I thought you were cute."

"You did?"

"Obviously. I don't think anyone who has ever met you would think you're not the prettiest girl in the world. Except maybe Duke Everlue, but something wasn't right with that guy. I mean, you noticed his mustache, right?"

She laughed again. "Yes, just long nose hairs curled up. Gross! It was our first job together, so it'll always be special to me."

Natsu teased, "It's the reason the maid outfit exists in our house, so it'll always be special to me too."

"Just so we're clear, you know there's not ever going to be a situation where I lay an egg, right?"

He said, "You just really freaked me out. I don't even know how that conversation happened. Guessing it was Gildarts trying to start trouble."

"You guessed right. But Gildarts really loves you. I don't want to say like a father, but it's warm like that. He really wants you to be happy."

Natsu said, "I'm really lucky, to have so many people who have cared about me in my life. I think my human parents loved me. I think Zeref probably cared about me a lot and things just…I don't know. Igneel. Master. Gildarts. Everyone at the guild. Happy. Even Erza and that jerk Gray. But that's nothing compared to you. To be loved by somebody like this is…I don't know what to say."

Lucy kissed his cheek. "I feel the same way. You don't have to say anything. I know your heart. It's so big and warm and good. I'm a lucky girl to have you."

They kissed, and then kissed again, and then kissed deeply.

"Natsu, someone is going to see us. We can't make out in public. That's too much."

Natsu wrapped his scarf around both of them so their mouths were hidden. "How about now?"

"Fine. This feels so bad. Like we shouldn't be doing it."

"So? I'm never going to feel bad about expressing how I feel about you, Luigi."

They went at it for a few minutes and Lucy was left missing the feeling of his hands all over her and wanted more than they could safely do in a park. Since they had a long carriage ride and then camping and rock climbing and fighting, it was unlikely that they were going to have a comfortable time alone for a while.

She knew Natsu felt the same way too and tried to come up with some solution. There was basically no chance that she'd ever stoop so low as to use a bathroom of any kind, but there was a clothing store on the other side of the park.

"I think you need a new shirt. Come with me," she said as she fixed his scarf and then used it to gently drag him toward the store.

Natsu was confused, but something about the tone of her voice told him not to resist. When she spoke to him like that, it meant that things were going to happen. He wasn't sure how, but he knew Lucy and he knew Lucy was wanting to be closer to him than their current situation had allowed.

She held up a few shirts while she watched the store employees and he repeated the phrase 'whatever you think' about a hundred times until she abruptly grabbed his hand when no one was looking and pulled him into the dressing room.

"You want me to try these shirts on?" he asked.

Lucy pushed him against the wall. "What do you think?"

"Here? Now?"

"We'll have to be really quiet," she cautioned.

Natsu said, "I'll be quiet. Like a ninja. Nin-nin."

"The last time you said that was right before you made something explode."

"Something is definitely going to explode…"

Lucy started to ease him out of his top. "Is that a dirty joke, Natsu?"

"I always think it's weird that people call it that. I don't really think there's anything dirty about what we do. It feels right."

They stripped down as quietly as they could, and she sat on his lap on the one little bench the room had.

She could tell he wanted to get real rowdy and have an intense session that likely would have knocked down the dividers between dressing rooms, but that would have ended in them being expelled from the store, and possibly from the country. 'Sorry we destroyed property while having intense premarital sex in a public shop' was not the right thing to do in a country run by religious zealots.

To Natsu's credit, they managed to not get banished from the country, and after they finished, dressed and slipped back out to find Gildarts standing in front of a mirror trying on a new cloak.

They froze, and he turned and said, "Oh, it was you two."

"We were just…trying on some new shirts. For Natsu. Because he almost never wears anything different."

Gildarts said, "Right. I believe that is exactly what happened."

Lucy laughed nervously. "What else would we be doing?"

"We heard from the locals that it's cold up where we're going, so you might want to invest in some warmer gear. Boots, thick socks, something to shield you from the wind," Gildarts commented.

Lucy turned to quickly escape and Gildarts gave Natsu a smirk.

"Really? In a dressing room, the first chance you get to slip away? You chose wisely, my young friend. What a girl. Finding a girl who is so crazy about you that she needs to try on shirts if you've been apart too long is special. I'd give you a high five, but you need to go wash your hands immediately."

Natsu shrugged, since he already talked about nearly everything with Gildarts. He didn't feel nearly as embarrassed as Lucy did. "Hey, I want to get something nice for Lucy. She always says she doesn't want anything."

"Maybe some nice earrings. Or a locket. She seems like she'd like something like that. Maybe an engagement ring if you're feeling brave. Or maybe a key. Or a rare book. Seems like there's a lot of things she'd like to have but might not spend money on herself. Once you get into a place where paying rent is the most important thing, it's hard to go back to indulging yourself sometimes. You and Lucy should have enough, especially after this job, right? Take her on a shopping spree, a spa, a vacation…she deserves to be spoiled a bit, right?"

The dragonslayer nodded. "I want her to have everything she wants."

Gildarts smiled. "If you really want to make her happy right now, there's a bookstore on the corner. They have a display of books with a lion and a number four on the front. If you buy Lucy that book, she'll be happy."

"What is it?"

"Just trust me. Laxus was talking about it when we passed by. It's not published in Ishgar, but it's for sale over here."

Natsu wasn't really bothered by cold, so while Lucy shopped, he obtained this book. It wasn't magical, there was no apparent significance to it, but when he gave it to her outside the store, she jumped into his arms.

"You are amazing, Natsu! How did you pull this off? Not even I knew about it!"

Lucy threw her wind reader glasses on and flipped through the pages, eyes widening. "This is so good!"

When she finished, she gave him another big hug and a kiss right on the mouth. "You're the best Natsu. I love you so much. Not because of this, but this! I don't even understand this miracle. How did you know?"

The others joined them, and Lucy held up the book.

"Is that _Skysails 4_?" Laxus asked, before freezing. "You better not, blondie!"

"Fox, Ingrid, and Teramis all die in a bloody battle with the druid! The book ends on a dark, bitter, apocalyptic note, because the good guys failed to save the day and the world has been blanketed in darkness. Ingrid realizes that being her father's daughter was important and she needed the love of her dad all along," she declared.

Natsu stared in confusion. "Are you happy because you told him the end of a book he wanted to read before he could read it? That seems…immature."

"He did it to me first! But I did it worst. Admit you've been defeated, you miserable, book-spoiling troll!"

Laxus said, "You might have won this battle, but I don't lose wars. You better think wisely before you decide this is the road you want to go down."

Natsu shook his head. "I don't really understand what is going on here."

"Nerds," Gildarts commented, "But let's remember who we're dealing with. You push enough of Shock Tart's buttons and he'll go full nerd rage and try to blow up a city or something. At least he's not doing anything evil or stupid when he's reading."

The carriage pulled up to take them on to where the monsters were, and Natsu said, "Finally it's almost time for some action. Real action. I'm all fired up!"

-Reviews Welcome!—

I wanted to thank everyone who has taken time to review the last chapter:

Seireidoragon, Kjacket, KatanaNoNeko, obsessedwithnalu, min-chan17, Jazminee18, Ember Reverie, valerioux, and Random-Gaurdian!


	6. Adventures in Adventure

The carriage ride to where the monsters had emerged from was five hours long, but after it ended, they had to transfer to horses because the earthquake that accompanied their arrival left a massive area impassable by any vehicle.

It was cold, and rocky, and the horses were stocky, somewhat slow but able to navigate the area.

No one went with them; they were just given a map and told 'good luck, don't die.'

There was a strange, seemingly unnaturally high plateau that was presumably a mountain that had lost it's top for some reason or another. Down the middle, it was split, creating a massive crevasse flanked on each side by rocky cliffs on each side. It went far below the surface, deep into the earth, causing a massive change in elevation between where they were and what appeared to be the bottom.

"So…are we thinking the earthquake was natural and the monsters were set free on accident, or the monsters became free and the earthquake was the accident?" Gildarts asked.

Laxus said, "This place isn't anywhere near a major fault line, and the damage is pretty localized. I would doubt this was any sort of natural earthquake."

"Okay, nerd." Gildarts answered.

"He is right," Lucy said.

"Sure, other nerd."

Natsu laughed quietly, and Happy laughed not-so-quietly, and Lucy said, "Would you stop laughing at that joke? It's not like it's news to you."

"But it's funny when Gildarts says it," her boyfriend argued.

"You can't just take his side when he's making fun of me. There are rules," she said.

Gildarts looked over at Happy as he sat with Natsu on one of the horses. "Does anyone else think it's weird watching a cat ride a horse?"

Happy asked, "Is it weirder than seventy-five percent of a human do it?"

"Real question: can you fly faster than Gildarts can blow stuff up?" Lucy asked.

Happy smiled. "I cannot. No one would hurt a cute widdle kitty."

A snake slithered across the ground in front of them, and the startled horses, bucked, throwing all the riders off except Lucy, who grabbed the reins of the other horses as they were startled and brought them back.

"You're not bad, Lucy. Did Daddy buy you a pony when you asked?" Gildarts said.

"He bought me five. One in every color and one with spots," she answered.

Laxus dusted himself off. "She's a dragonrider so the horse is probably a piece of cake."

"Dragonrider?" Natsu asked. "What dragon? Oh….Oh. I'm not…I'm not going to say anything."

Gildarts said, "Good choice, Natsu. I believe you are destined to be wise just like Laxus is to die alone."

Lucy answered, "If the horses were spooked by a snake, no way they're not going to be scared if they're by fighting. We should find a safe place, give them some water and food, and hike the rest of the way. They could break a leg on all these uneven rocks, and that's the same thing as a death sentence."

They agreed to this because they didn't want to be cruel and also because Lucy was actually a good leader. Her thought process was well-organized and made sense, and she was also the smartest one in their group. The main thing that derailed her train of thought was distraction, usually in the form of them antagonizing her.

They set up their camp in a sheltered area covered by trees a little way down from the summit near a stream, and left the horses there after a quick break.

When they headed back up, they made it to the cliff and looked down.

There was no sign of the monsters, but a weird scent hung in the air.

"It smells like death," Natsu said.

Gildarts nodded. "The monsters have supposedly been taking people from villages. Assuming they hunt in a group, we're going to want to concentrate our efforts on one at a time. There are five of these things, and taking one out is going to be a better strategy that whittling one-fifth of all of them away."

Lucy asked, "What do we do next?"

"We wait. We're not going to go down into that pit. Huge chance we'll cave it in on ourselves," Gildarts answered.

Natsu built a fire, and they sat around and waited until nightfall when a roar shook the area.

They were big, and navy blue, shiny and scaled, but not necessarily dragon-shaped. They looked more like giant flying lizard-bird-dogs than anything else.

"They look like the blood wyvern in Gramps' book," Laxus said.

"Mhmm…We need to kill these things before they breed. There probably aren't enough powerful wizards here to deal with them if they become a problem. Not sure how they end up sealed up in the earth to start with, but that's for later," Gildarts answered, "Watch your backs, and keep on my target. This will be a long fight, so pace yourself. If you blow all your magic at the start of the fight, we'll be screwed."

Laxus said, "Thanks, I needed instructions on how to wizard."

Lucy reached for her keys and moved into Sagittarius star dress as she summoned her faithful spirit to join her in firing arrows at the flying monsters.

The wyvern were about to leave the area when a massive ball of lightning erupted around them, followed by fire that gave Gildarts enough cover to leap through their magic and land on one of them.

Even though they were huge, and their claws were dripping with poison and wrapped in some sort of dark magic, they weren't anywhere on the level of a dragon…maybe not even a dragonslayer. For a nation that had banned magic and had no notable wizards, it surely must have seemed like the apocalypse, and it would have been problematic if they'd spread into other areas like this.

If they'd erupted from the ground in Fiore, it would have been a different story. Open and shut, with a little violence and 'that was just a typical Wednesday.'

Notable was the fact the villagers who first saw the blood wyvern all reported there were five, and there were only four involved in the battle. And they seemed extremely weak to Lucy's magic over anyone else's, giving her magic the ability to impact them as much as Laxus or even maybe Gildarts.

The first one went down when Lucy fired and arrow and missed, but Natsu managed to grab it out of the air and propel himself right at the monster's chest, ramming it through the wyvern's heart.

They moved on to the next, which proved considerably tougher, and then the third one after that.

By the time the third one was down, they were two hours in and tired.

Lucy had fired at least a hundred arrows, maybe more. It seemed like a working strategy, so she kept with it. Her firing arm was numb from exertion, and she noticed everyone was starting to move a little slower.

Gildarts lost his footing and fell from the fourth one, and got nicked by the creature's claws right at his elbow, causing his prosthetic arm to explode into pieces.

"Dammit!"

They made quick work of the fourth wyvern, and since they were all exhausted and out of magic, decided to retreat. There was still one out there somewhere, but there was no sign of it and it was probably better if they didn't find it for at least a few hours.

Lucy scrambled to help pick up the pieces of Gildarts arm and then they quickly left the scene of the battle.

Natsu understood the reason they were leaving but felt incredibly uneasy about it. They'd left their scents all over the place, so he assumed the fifth blood wyvern was going to show up and hunt for them.

And, it did.

They didn't even make it back to camp.

"What, did you oversleep or something? All your friends are gone already," Natsu asked as the last one suddenly descended from the sky, dropping a half-eaten cow as it roared at them.

And unlike dragons, these beasts were bulky, vicious, and dangerous, but not intelligent.

They were exhausted, and Gildarts was down an arm.

"Last fight, and I'm all fired up!"

Lucy assumed Scorpio star dress and summoned Loke and Taurus to fight with her. It used most of the magic power she had left, but they were at the end, and it was exhilarating to become completely magically exhausted.

Taurus came out of his gate, crossed his arms, and said, "Seeing you just puts me in a moooooood, Lucy!"

Loke answered, "My friend, it's only natural to feel a certain magnetic attraction to a beautiful woman like Lucy. My love for her is sincere."

Gildarts and Laxus seemed perplexed by this, and Laxus said, "Two braindead perverts have joined us. Now we'll win for sure."

Loke looked at their enemy and said, "Oh, monsters. Also, a blood wyvern. Been awhile since one of these was in this world."

"We're here to make sure they don't breed," Lucy said.

"Eh? These aren't creatures from earthland and they don't reproduce," Loke said.

Taurus nodded. "They're from the Outer Realm. Beyond the farthest moooooooon in the celestial realm."

Loke added, "And whoever summoned them here will probably just summon more. Killing them is as pointless as when one of us gets injured and sent back. You need to find the summoner."

Natsu said, "There was a human scent around here earlier…"

Gildarts nodded. "Natsu, Lucy. Go find the summoner. Laxus and I will take down this big guy."

They nodded and made a run for it, leaving her spirits to help fight the wyvern.

Scorpio star dress improved her agility significantly, and Natsu was naturally a spectacular athlete, so as they headed down a steep slope, through the little stream and then further down, they were able to navigate the rocks well.

When she did lose her footing, Happy caught her and brought her to a small but flat cliff where some brush was growing.

Natsu jumped and landed at her side, and walked toward the brush was, pushing it aside to reveal a kid.

He leaned down and said, "Hey. What's up?"

The kid didn't even move, keeping his head covered.

Lucy spoke to him in Aegian, and he managed to look up.

"I don't think this is really a villain of any kind," Lucy commented.

Natsu picked him up by the shirt and hauled him to his feet, and then stared curiously. He was a young teenager, thin, scrawny-looking, like if he blew hard enough the kid would fall over and break into a thousand pieces. He had fluffy red hair and tons of freckles, and the kind of complexion that hinted his greatest natural enemy was probably the sun.

Lucy started talking to him in Aegian and he squeaked. "I can speak Ishgari. You are great wizards from the world of magic?"

"We came from over there. Who are you?"

"Tottle."

Natsu waved. "Yo, I'm Natsu."

"Lucy. Did you…did you summon those things?" the blonde asked.

"It wasn't supposed to go like that. I read there are wizards who can summon powerful beings to fight at their sides. And I found this old book. I learned how to read Ishgari because I thought if I could read the book I could summon someone to help me," he explained.

Lucy asked, "What is it you need help with?"

"There's a really evil person in charge of this country. He is going to have a ceremony to induct my sister into his holy harem soon."

Natsu's brow raised. "Harem?"

"Is that not the right word?"

"It probably is," Lucy said before leaning over to whisper in Natsu's ear.

Natsu's expression changed considerably. "That's a load of crap! I'd be mad as hell if anyone I know was treated that way. Or even a stranger. I'm mad just hearing about it."

Tottle said, "I thought if the high priest died, maybe everything would go back to the way it was. Everyone was happy and we even if we were sinners, we laughed. I know what you're going to say. 'Violence isn't the answer.'"

Natsu answered, "Me? I'd never say that. People who do are usually just not good at violence."

Lucy said, "It is _not_ always the answer."

"Whatever, Luigi."

Tottle looked away. "I've just never been good at anything. This was supposed to make me worth something, but when I opened the gate, those things came out and I couldn't control them. I'm sorry! I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Lucy said, "Those things ate people, right?"

"No, just cows. I think the government just told them they were eating people to scare everyone," the boy answered.

"It's not really that big of a deal," Natsu said, flashing a grin. "Nobody died, right?"

Tottle said, "I can't help my sister and I'll probably be burnt at the stake for practicing witchcraft."

Lucy felt a sinking feeling in her gut that there was suddenly a small chance that they'd go home penniless but with a strong sense of moral satisfaction, Daybreak-esque in nature. There was no chance they were just not going to help Tottle at this point, and if they assaulted the leader of Aegis, they definitely weren't going to get paid.

Natsu gave him a pat on the back. "Don't worry. That's what friends are for."

"I'm a heretic, practicing witchery. I don't have friends. I don't even know what any of this is for. What good is magic if I can't protect my friends?"

"We're your friends, right, Lucy?" Natsu said.

"Right." Lucy nodded.

Tottle was confused. "What?"

"C'mon…head back to our camp with us. We'll figure out what to do. You can meet our teammates too."

Tottle nervously asked, "Any chance you guys have food?"

"Sure we do."

By the time they climbed up, the last wyvern had already been destroyed and Laxus and Gildarts were walking back to camp. Lucy sensed her spirits were gone, but that was to be expected; she'd overtaxed her powers a bit.

When they arrived at the camp, Laxus was sitting on the ground in front of Gildarts trying to reassemble his prosthetic arm.

Both of the older wizards looked over and Gildarts asked, "Don't tell me _this _is the summoner."

"S-Sorry. It was an accident. Sort of."

Introductions and explanations followed, along with a collective sense of moral outrage about young girls being forced into harems. The kid's rage was acceptable and sane, and magic was a fairly conventional tool for overcoming differences in power. What had gone wrong was that since magic was banned, the mainstream stuff wasn't available and all he had to work with was one book of forbidden magic.

Gildarts asked, "Do you have the book?"

Tottle reached into his backpack.

"We'll need to take it. It would be apocalyptic in the hands of the wrong person," he answered.

"I understand."

Lucy watched Laxus toil with the arm and said, "You should let me try. I'm good at stuff like that."

"Women don't have mechanical minds," he answered.

Tottle nervously said, "That's not really the way to treat a respectable lady, is it?"

"I wouldn't speak to a respectable lady like that," Laxus said.

Lucy asked, "Natsu, when are you going to stand up for me?"

"He's just mad you ruined his book. I'm not going to get involved in nerd wars. They don't concern me," Natsu said. "I think you're a really respectable lady and that's all that matters, right?"

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "Tried and failed. I'm not falling for that. You're cute, but you're not that cute."

When Laxus turned to find another screw among the parts, Tottle held out a nearly complete arm that he'd reassembled almost completely in the time it took everyone to have an argument.

Clearly defeated, Laxus stood aside and let him finish screwing it back in place.

Gildarts said, "Thanks, Kid. Now what are we going to do? Going to assume just going home doesn't sit right with anybody. I think we were warned not to make trouble here, and even sent with a babysitter to make sure there were no diplomatic slip ups. Obviously assaulting the leader of the country is going to make some waves."

"Are we talking about killing this guy? I don't care. But half of our team is in the rainbow sunshine club," Laxus answered.

"What is that?" Lucy asked.

Laxus said, "It's what the people in the guild who don't mind spilling blood call you and your group."

Tottle answered, "They're going to want the book back."

"Did you…steal this book from the government?"

"Yes. I stole it from the sorcerer. Back when the church took over, they said they would exorcise demons that were terrorizing everyone, but I think the sorcerer just summoned them to trick everyone," Tottle said, "Then once they had control, the monsters went away. He can't summon without the book."

Gildarts held out the magic book. "This book is the reason this country changed?"

Suddenly, it made sense that they were being paid an incredible fortune to kill the monsters; doing so would inevitably mean finding the summoner and the book. The book was what was with forty million jewel, not protecting the people. It was the means by which they'd gained control, and presumably how they'd maintain it if needed.

Lucy thought about it for a while and an idea hit her. "Don't worry. I know what to do. This country is built on secrets and fear. These people that go to church every day probably don't know the high priest is a disgusting pervert who keeps a harem. They probably also think the church saved them from monsters. There's nothing more powerful than angry citizens. All we have to do is tell them the truth."

She flexed her muscles. "Let's make some propaganda! We can get paid, not cause a war with Fiore, and still light the powder keg."

"Huh?"

Lucy looked over to Natsu. "We'll make flyers and write about the truth of this country and put them all over the capital. Once people learn what things are really like, they'll realize they can rise up and the monsters won't come back."

Gildarts said, "Are we starting a revolution? That seems like a lot of work."

She nodded and added, "First, we'll collect our money, and say the summoner was burned up in the fight. We'll say there was a book that burned with him. It's believable. We seek passage to leave, get on the boat, then sneak off and head back into the city."

Natsu said, "I'm not saying it's not a good idea, or that we shouldn't do it. I just thought I heard somebody say one war was enough."

Laxus actually, "Weren't you sent to keep us out of trouble? And now you're the one sitting over there saying we should purposefully start a civil war?"

"Do you think we should just go home?" Lucy asked.

"Hell no," Natsu answered, "The government is using magic to hurt and control the citizens, but not allowing them to use it to defend themselves. And doing a bunch of disgusting stuff on top of that."

Gildarts asked, "Tottle, do they know that the person who stole the book was you?"

"Yes."

"Let's be careful then. One misstep and we'll have no choice than to make a big mess," he said.

They cooked dinner and helped Tottle set up his little shelter after they'd eaten and separated into groups to bathe.

Tottle said, "I'm our culture, kids born with red hair like me are sort of considered a bad omen."

Gildarts answered, "I used to look a lot like you when I was young. People poked fun of me, called me a soulless ginger. Nobody really does that anymore. Except Shock Tart here, but no one in the world cares about his opinion."

"But that magic!" Tottle said, glancing starry-eyed at Laxus, "Are you the son of Odin, god of thunder?"

Laxus said, "I'm the son of Ivan, god of shitbags."

"I uhhh..is this a sensitive subject for you?"

"YES," Lucy and Gildarts answered in unison.

By all means, they'd completed the job they were sent to do, but no one was willing to just walk away from everything else. They sat around the fire and made careful plans, and the thirteen-year-old was helplessly enamored with the other wizards and the strange land they came from.

When it was time to settle in for bed, Gildarts pulled her aside and gave her the book, which he'd had a chance to flip through.

"You should have this."

"What is it?"

"Lost magic, very old. Possibly the precursor to celestial spirit summoning. Lots of details about opening portals in 'other realms.' Going to recommend you burn it after you're done studying it. I have no problem with you gaining access to that knowledge, but it probably shouldn't fall into anyone else's hands. It might be difficult to burn, but I've heard you know an expert."

Lucy took it and flipped it open, only to find the first pages were filled with magic arrays and runes. "I'll be careful."

She took it to the tent she and Natsu were sharing by themselves and sat on her sleeping bag while she tried to study even the first pages by lantern light.

Natsu laid on top of his sleeping bag watching her, asking occasional questions that she absently answered.

"Hey Luigi."

"Hmm?" she asked.

"You're all the way over there and I don't like it."

Lucy sarcastically answered. "We're less than a foot apart, Natsu. What do you want me to do, sit on you?"

Natsu flashed her a big grin and took the book from her. "Now that you mention it, that is a good idea."

She blushed. "Natsu!"

"Come sit on my lap already then. Luuuuuucy…"

Lucy was starting to feel the night chill sinking in. "I am kind of cold."

"Remember that time you took all your clothes off and laid down with me to keep me warm? I could return the favor," he teased.

It was cheesy, but it was also cute.

Lucy began stripping down and watched his intense, focused attention on every move she made. Every move of her body as she wiggled, unbuttoned, and unzipped was mesmerizing to him.

He threw his own clothes off when she climbed into his sleeping bag with him and laid on top of his warm body. A heated hand moved to the arm that was sore from firing arrows for such a long time, and he rubbed and massaged it, letting the heat do its magic.

"Mmmm…you always know what I need."

"I noticed it seemed sore."

"Just some overexertion."

Lucy rested her forehead against his. "You're awfully sweet on me."

"I kind of like you, you know."

"I kind of like you too."

At first, being with him felt so new and thrilling, but the feeling of his hands on her body was becoming a normal, healthy part of her reality. Being totally bare and intimate with Natsu was wonderful. He was warm, and kind, and she knew there wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do for her, and nothing she wouldn't do for him.

Natsu was a good boyfriend. He always listened, even though he didn't retain everything. Even then, he didn't usually need words to know what was going on with her.

She found loving him was the easiest thing in the world. Then again, he'd always been an adorable guy. She couldn't imagine how different her life would be without him.

Natsu brushed her hair behind her ear. "You look like you're thinking hard about something."

"Just you. I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't met you that day in Hargeon. Probably not as exciting."

"You wanted to join Fairy Tail, and you always work to achieve your goals. So one day, you would have come through those doors, right? It would be just the same. You would have looked at all our guild's rowdy weirdos and decided you were home. I would have thought you were cute and interesting and found a dumb reason to go on a job with you."

"You think so?"

Natsu said, "Didn't you just know somehow that you belonged at Fairy Tail all along? Isn't that why you wanted to join?"

"I guess that's right. I felt like my life as a wizard would be really exciting and great if I joined Fairy Tail. It's been more than I ever hoped for. More excitement…maybe too much sometimes. So many friends. And just one Natsu."

She rubbed her nose against his and he squeezed her a little more tightly.

Lucy rested her head on him and quickly fell asleep, tired from a busy day.

When they awoke the next morning, it was to the smell of coffee, and of Gildarts cooking.

"You always get up early?" Lucy asked as she emerged from the tent, dressed.

Laxus was sitting next to the fire with a grumpy expression. "Have you never known an old person before? The older a person is, the earlier in the morning they wake up. The miserable ones wake other people up too."

"I accidentally stepped on him getting out of the tent this morning. He's butthurt," Gildarts explained.

"I am belly hurt because an elephant stepped on insides. Why are you so fucking fat?"

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned! Besides, you're not a lightweight either. Your metabolism seems to have caught up with you, Thunder Thighs," Gildarts answered.

"Big boned? That's something your mother had to tell her fat ginger butterball so he'd feel better."

Lucy asked, "Are you two really having an argument about which one of you is fat like a couple of little mean girls?"

"Not sure you want to draw your sword in this battle with that ass," Laxus said.

Natsu said, "Don't insult my girl. Enough already. You're starting to piss me off. If you want, we could just fight."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "Are you pretending to be offended because you want to fight?"

"If you two get into it on foreign soil, I'll settle it myself," Gildarts said.

Tottle seemed confused and bewildered by the orchestra of insults that composed the morning conversation and ate his breakfast in confused awe. Just a day before, he was in the most desperate place of his life, unable to get rid of the monsters he'd accidentally summoned or help his sister. Now, he'd made friends, and they had promised to do even more to help.

They were an interesting group, to be sure. Highly animated, argumentative, but clearly closely bonded together, they approached overturning the government of his country like normal people approached doing housework. After he learned their guild was responsible for the 'regime change' in Alvarez, it was easy to see why.

Once they tired of insults and food had been eaten, Lucy asked, "What do you know about this sorcerer?"

"It's a guy. He's really huge. He doesn't look human. Very pale. The high priest pays him by surrounding him in beautiful women. When I was working in the tower, I heard the high priest call him 'Kain.' I've seen him use these dolls to play with the girls. He plucks their hair out and sticks it in the doll, and then he can control them."

Lucy said, "That sounds a lot like…"

"Yeah," Natsu answered. "That jerk we met on Tenrou Island."

"A former member of Grimoire Heart?" Gildarts asked.

Lucy nodded. "He was a pervert then too."

Tottle said, "He has a secret weapon. I was snooping around once, and I opened this door. He had a mermaid, chained in this big tank. The mermaid is the one who told me where the book was, and that I should take it far away and make sure it didn't fall into his hands again."

"…a mermaid?" Lucy mumbled, "A mermaid?! What did she look like?"

"She had blue hair, blue eyes, a blue tail, a blue top. A tattoo kind of like this," he said, tracing a line across his collarbone.

Tottle added, "The sorcerer caught me talking to her and said she was disobedient, and she couldn't go home until she promised to serve him."

Natsu said, "That sounds like _her_."

"Aquarius! It is her! He must have found the key…and then, when he summoned her the first time, I bet she's been refused to agree to terms for a contract, so she can't go home. A spirit who can't go home will die! We have to do something. Every minute she spends here is going to be pure torture for her!"

Lucy grappled for her keys and summoned Loke. "Loke, is that true? Is Aquarius being held here in the human world against her will?"

Loke said, "Aquarius is not your spirit, so I cannot give you information about her current whereabouts or state."

"That's a bunch of crap, Loke!"

"Even so, I can't tell you."

"Is she in danger?"

Loke said, "I will say this, and I can't say anything else. I haven't seen Aquarius in the celestial spirit realm in a very long time."

All the Fairy Tail members knew about Aquarius, because finding her had been Lucy's main priority. Everyone in the guild knew she was looking for a gold key because she told everyone to be on the lookout for one. Even for rumors of a gold key or a blue mermaid.

Lucy was frantic and incredibly upset when Loke indirectly confirmed that Aquarius was being held in the human world without relief by a person who was a villain and an enemy.

Gildarts said, "I'm going to guess we'll find out this high priest is another associate of the sorcerer. This country might be under the control of dark wizards who were pushed out of Ishgar when the Balam Alliance collapsed, so telling the citizens the truth and inspiring them to revolt would probably just lead to a bloodbath. I like the direct approach anyway, but that means no reward."

Lucy exclaimed, "I don't care about the money, I just want to save Aquarius before it's too late!"

"I think we should hurry. I don't like the idea our enemies moved to other places because they knew they couldn't do anything with us around anymore. It actually really pisses me off," Natsu said, in a surprisingly calm tone, which meant his rage was less emotion and more logic—a sign he was genuinely enraged and was going to stay that way until he addressed the issue.

Lucy couldn't have been in a bigger hurry to pack up camp and head down the mountain.

If she'd had a plan before, it didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that her faithful spirit was in trouble and if they didn't hurry, they wouldn't be able to save her. Seeing Aquarius again was one of the most important things to her, and she didn't care about the consequences of getting her back. She'd fight a war for Aquarius or do whatever else was required.

The others didn't argue with the new plan, which was apparently to run in and just wreck everything. And if that was going to be the plan, there was possibly no better team for it than the present company. Lucy also suspected they probably all preferred the new plan anyway as subtlety was not something ever associated with Natsu, Laxus, or Gildarts. They were the kings of overdoing it, and she was grateful for them.

Her heart wouldn't stop pounding, even after the carriage they hired took them to the next town with a train station.

Natsu walked alongside her and wrapped an arm around her. "Don't worry. We'll save her. She'll be trying to drown you in the ocean again in no time."

"Thanks," she said. "I just…"

"You don't have to say anything. Aquarius is one of us, right? She belongs with you and not with some scumbag. We don't leave our own behind," he answered.

Lucy said, "It's my fault she's had to suffer. Because I chose to let her go, she's been put in the worst position a celestial spirit can be in. She could die, Natsu."

"She won't. We'll save her, and we'll go home, and maybe, we can build her a little fountain or something at home so you can summon her and she won't yell at you. We'll make sure she's okay," he answered.

She turned to her other teammates and tearfully said, "I know you guys are going to lose out. I'll pay you back until I've paid you all the reward money."

Gildarts smiled. "Who cares about that? You don't have to pay us back. Your spirit fought alongside Fairy Tail. We'd be some other guild if we cared more about money than standing up for our own ally."

"I am not sentimental. I just like violence more than money," Laxus said.

Lucy wiped a tear from her eye. "Yeah right. You're really a good guy! I'm just really happy to have amazing friends."

And then, she started crying. Sobbing, right in the middle of the sidewalk.

Natsu gave her a piggyback ride the rest of the way, and she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"It'll be all right. I'm sure she'll be so happy to see you she won't even try to hurt you!" Natsu exclaimed.

Lucy sighed and kissed his cheek.

Tottle followed along, certain something was going to change, but unsure of how any of it was going to turn out. From the start, he'd only wanted to help his sister, but he'd ignited a fire in the most reasonable of the Ishgari wizards. Lucy now wanted to burn the entire place to the ground in search of the mermaid, and considering her partner, that seemed like a likely outcome.

Natsu rested his head on Lucy's lap on the train, and she spent most of that time running her fingers through his hair. The feeling of her nails on his scalp seemed to help him relax a little bit even with his nausea.

"I'm concerned this battle is going to be underwhelming, considering that this clown didn't just kill the blood wyvern on his own," Laxus complained at one stop.

Lucy said, "The good news is the capital should have lots of churches for you to blow up."

Tottle nervously asked, "Is it too late to ask you not do too much damage?"

"These guys don't really take special requests, if you know what I mean," Lucy nervously answered.

Natsu smiled happily. "We put our all into everything! It's usually too much but we can't do it any other way! People yell at us a lot about it, actually."

Happy said, "How is your fishy fishy spirit going to make fun of you now that you have a boyfriend?"

Lucy had almost forgotten Aquarius' near-constant taunts about her lack of a boyfriend and felt even more energized. "That's right. The next time she wants to rub it in my face, I can tell her I've got a man and he's great!"

At that, Natsu very nearly threw up in her lap.

"…so great," she added, sounding a little more subdued.

Gildarts smiled at her. "It makes me happy to see how well you two take care of each other. Natsu is a lucky guy to have a girl like you. Smart, brave, loving…a real catch."

"Th-Thanks. I was really worried about this job, but it's actually turning out to be so important. For me and Natsu and for other people too."

"You know who it's really good for?"

Gildarts pointed to Laxus, who was unconscious on the bench next to him. "For him to see people happy together is important for him. He watches you two closely. Sees how great you have it together. Hoping he can figure out he can have that too if he really wants it. I'm concerned for him, you know. I want him to be happy and well."

Lucy asked, "Is he unconscious because you punched him in the brain?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand your sense of concern. Please don't ever be concerned for me, I think I might die."

He answered, "These guys need tough love…it's the most important thing I can offer them. Without it, they'll never understand themselves. When a young man gains a massive amount of power before he finishes growing up, it's hard to understand a lot of things that come naturally to others. Natsu has done well, but I think a lot of that has to do with you, right? You kept him in touch with his feelings and on a right path. You've been better for him than you know."

-Reviews Welcome!—

Just wanted to give a shout out to valerioux, fireyfox04, orange keys 25, bugseey, min-chan17, jazminee18, ember reverie, and supersaiyajin4vegeta for taking time to review my fic. I'm so glad others are enjoying it.


	7. Adventures in Nerd Love

There were some things that were incredibly suspect about their new ally, Tottle.

Namely, his Ishgari was really good, far beyond what someone might learn for the purposes of digesting a book. Reading and speaking were different skills, and he could speak it. From his face, it didn't look like he had relatives from Ishgar, so his reasons for learning might not have been that different than Lucy's. His parents could have been traders or diplomats, or any number of other professions.

His knowledge of the capital city was spectacular, allowing them to enter a sewer outside of town and follow it down countless turns to an abandoned part of the tower's basement.

The wizards hadn't been expected to travel to the capital city, Gannak, as the monsters they were hired to slay weren't that far from the port in comparison to the country's size. They were not expected.

Guards they passed were left unconscious and tied up, easily, as none of them knew magic.

They came to a hallway, where the boy said, "The mermaid is to the right, up a huge staircase, at the top of the tower. The High Priest will probably be this way, eating dinner at this time. I don't know where the sorcerer is…he might not even be in the building."

Lucy asked, "Could we split up? I haven't seen Aquarius in a long time. She's in trouble."

Gildarts nodded. "You and fire boy can head up. We'll go have a talk with the 'most high one.' Tottle, chose your path."

Tottle followed them to the left, and Lucy and Natsu bounded up the seemingly endless stairs with Happy right behind them.

No one was supposed to go up to the tower, so once they made it past the guards halfway up, there was little keeping them from the top.

Lucy found the door locked and stepped aside just as Natsu punched it and sent it flying into the wall on the opposite side of the room.

Aquarius was there, with a magic inhibiting chain holding her in a tank of water. She was floating in the water, with her vessel in her lap, her appearance so thin she was nearly translucent.

She looked down in surprise, knowing both that she was literally on the opposite side of the planet as Lucy's home and that even with that, she'd hoped for some crazy miracle like this. Barring that, Aquarius would have preferred death to working as a sycophant to someone who was simple-minded and evil.

"I-It's you."

Lucy came to the edge of the big tank. "Aquarius! We'll save you! Don't worry about anything."

"I…" Aquarius started to say she was glad to see Lucy, that she missed her, that this was the outcome she'd secretly wished for. Instead, she growled, "It took you long enough! Just wait until I get my strength back, I'll send you home via Tsunami Express!"

Aquarius could sense Lucy's magic had grown, and Natsu's as well. There were two other presences she vaguely recognized and assumed the treachery taking place in the tower probably wouldn't last the night.

Lucy asked, "Where is your key?"

"I cannot reveal that information to you."

Natsu watched the reunion with Happy sitting on his shoulder, his head turning to the source of a familiar scent.

The dragonslayer said, "I'd remember that stink anywhere."

Kain Hikaru kicked the door to the adjacent study open. "Are you here to play with Mr. Curs—you…and you…and the cat…why are you here?"

"Didn't you hire us?"

Kain pointed at Lucy, "You're not supposed to be here! If you wanted to get back together, you should have said something!"

Aquarius pulled at the chain. "Just you wait, you fat toad! No one wants you, you're disgusting! My boyfriend has missed me all this time!"

The dark wizard held out a cursey doll with one long strand of blue hair and then started to squeeze it tightly.

The spirit screamed, and Lucy summoned Taurus, only to immediately snatch his axe and run with it.

Natsu clearly saw the fear register on the enemy's face and wasn't sure whether to be proud his girlfriend was strong enough to carry an axe as big as she was when she was mad enough or if he should have been scared to death. Maybe both. Seeing what she could do when she was angry wasn't going to stop him from annoying her on purpose.

"Give me the key!" she screamed.

Happy snatched the Mr. Cursey and plucked the hair out. "Fishy, fishy, gotta save the fishy. Tasty…"

"I'll eat you right now if you don't shut up, Cat!" Aquarius hissed.

Happy asked, "Do spirits even need to eat?"

Taurus said, "Noooooooo!"

Natsu had all these things going on around him: Aquarius threatening to eat Happy for no practical reason except she was pissed, Lucy was running all over the room swinging a giant axe at a dark wizard who had done them real bad at their last meeting, and Taurus was chanting about how great her body looked while all of this was going on.

If anything, the way Lucy was handling the dark wizard showed how much she'd improved. Kain had seven whole years on them from Tenrou Island, but Lucy had moved up a class, maybe without anyone really properly noticing. She used Star Dress to move fast, to allow her to wield dangerous weapons, and she was able to dodge his body slams and keep him away from her hair.

Lucy gave the wizard a firm kick and as he tumbled passed, Natsu helped Kain hit the wall hard enough that it crumbled, and he almost fell from the tower.

"Give me the key!" Lucy said, grabbing his shorts and pulling him back, only to have them tear.

He was left naked in his cape, but the key clinked to the floor.

"You were KEEPING HER KEY IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?! How disgusting could you be? I don't even want to…" Lucy exclaimed.

Kain tried to cover up. "It was my secret!"

"You're nasty!" Lucy shrieked, kicking him through the hole he'd made in the wall, off the tower and plummeting into the garden below.

Natsu gestured to Happy. "Our turn!"

They followed Kain down to the ground, and Lucy carefully picked up the key.

"What a pig…"

Aquarius rolled her eyes. "There's nothing more disgusting than when my key falls into the hands of a male. My sweet scorpio is the only one I don't despise…Men are such filthy, insufferable dirt bags."

Lucy held it up. "Not going to argue with you after the trip I'm having. Contract wise."

"The thirteenth of every month, between the hours of four and six in the morning."

She narrowed her eyes.

Aquarius said, "Or anytime. You're somehow not as awful as that toad, so I guess my key fell into the second worst hands in the end. You can call me when you need me. You know what happens when you do, so I don't have to go through that part of the orientation, do I?"

"No, but…I have been looking everywhere for you! I missed you so much, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what happened. Our guild doesn't leave anyone behind. We don't sacrifice allies," Lucy answered.

"Get over it, you whiny little girl. The world didn't end, did it? Besides, I got to have a break from you," the spirit answered. "I can't close my own gate, with these chains. I'm ready to go home and see my man. He better be waiting for me…"

Lucy said, "Right. I'm glad you're all right. I'll see you soon. You too, Taurus, you can go home."

She started to close the gate, and Aquarius smiled. "Stupid girl…it's good to see you again."

Lucy held the key to her chest as her trusted sprits returned home, and then remembered where it had been and quickly made her way to the nearest bathroom to thoroughly wash it.

"Ick…not even sure that's something that can wash off," she mumbled.

Going all the way down the spiral staircase, Lucy ran into no guards and heard no commotion, even though there had been copious amounts of lightning and other awful sounds coming from the lower floors earlier.

She met with the others in the expansive entry hall, where Natsu was dragging a blooded, bruised Hikaru and Gildarts was hauling Rustyrose around by the hair.

"Behold, the high priest," Gildarts said.

Natsu gestured to Kain and answered, "And the sorcerer."

Laxus said, "This is garbage, what did these idiots do? We ran them out of Fiore so they just went somewhere else to be dicks?"

"My essence, it quivers…" Rustyrose said.

Gildarts kicked him in the stomach and pointedly said, "Stop. Being. Weird. This trip has already been ruined by nerds."

"Ha…nerds," Natsu echoed.

The blonde took a deep breath. "Natsu. Laugh at that joke _one more time_. I dare you. Do it. Better yet, call me a nerd. Right now, to my face."

Laxus said, "And now we get to watch Natsu die…tonight is a good night."

Happy teased, "Will he or won't he? The terrifying, possibly final chapter in the great saga of the fire dragonslayer!"

Natsu weakly and somewhat hesitantly answered, "I'll be…I'll be a good boy." And then, under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear, "…nerd."

Then he flashed a huge grin at her. "But you're my nerd! That makes it better, right?"

Lucy said, "Get away from me, lizard boy."

They chained up their captives in the small basement dungeon with the magic-blocking chains that had been left in their world after Aquarius left, and encountered little interference from any guards. It seemed like those who were left were relieved the foreigners had been taken captive.

Tottle disappeared early during the fighting and when he rematerialized, he was dragging his older sister by the hand. She was wearing a tiara and a long, silk dress, and had the same red hair as Tottle although hers was quite long.

"This is my sister, Princess Alaris. She is the rightful queen of our country."

Once they sat down and talked, blanks were filled in. Kain Hikaru had come to the country first, and wiped out much of the ruling structure, including the king and queen. Rustyrose had only recently come over a couple of years prior, and had taken complete control. They enjoyed power, money, and women, seemingly without limit and without any threat. There was no one in the entire country that could overpower them because they'd never really taken to the use of magic.

Tottle, also known as Prince Totaru, had managed to infiltrate the tower as an orphan looking for work, and eventually stole the monster-summoning book. The fact he was a prince was the real reason he knew their language, and he'd been working diligently as a powerless kid to find some way to fix everything.

Clear at the end of all things was the near inescapable truth that most dark wizards were at times mind-numbingly stupid, and that fate was generally on the side of those who wanted to do right.

The guards wanted their queen in power, the people wanted to crawl out from under the cruel oppression they'd been forced to endure.

Gildarts wanted beer.

There was a frenzy of activity, which didn't really involve the wizards at all, but the princess did instruct the servants to give them a good meal and rooms for the night.

While they were eating dinner in a private dining room, Tottle came in and sheepishly said, "Sorry for lying."

Laxus said, "We're less concerned about that and more concerned that people let gingers be in charge of stuff over here. Your sister is hot though."

"I don't know why this is, but you just make me really uncomfortable. All the time. Were you raised in the wilderness by animals?" the young prince answered.

Lucy said, "He has issues. I'm glad everything worked out all right."

"My sister said she'd honor the terms of the job and give you the payment if you agree to take the foreigners back to Fiore to face justice. She just needs a couple of days to get the more urgent stuff sorted out. Until then, you can stay with us," he said.

Suddenly, Lucy's dreams of staying home during the winter to train and finish the house roared back to life at the near incomprehensible idea that they were still going to make a ton of money off this job. It had gone so far off the rails that she'd made peace with the fact they were screwed. For Aquarius, it was worth it completely, but pay on top of reuniting with her spirit?

She was almost so happy she could forgive Natsu for teasing her and calling her a nerd. Almost.

"I don't know if any of you have brothers or sisters, but it's great to finally be back with my sister. We're all we have left. The love between siblings is so important," the boy said.

Lucy said, "Now that I think of it, do any of us have brothers or sisters besides Natsu?"

Gildarts shook his head and Laxus said, "Not me, but Natsu's brother came to visit us once. It wasn't great."

"Why don't you shut up?" Natsu answered in a tone that was less playful than he tended to be.

Laxus left the issue alone and Gildarts redirected the conversation to the country, how things had gone the way they were, and where they were going. People outside could already be heard celebrating and there were evidently a few scuffles outside between those who had been thoroughly deceived and the larger majority that was glad the sorcerer and the high priest—neither of which were even from that country—had been removed and the princess was alive and well.

When they were good and full, Lucy and Natsu were taken up to a room with a private bathroom, giving Lucy a chance to soak and digest all that had happened.

Natsu came in and after a quick shower, started to get in with her.

"Yeah right, Natsu. I'm just a nerd. Who wants to take a bath with a nerd?"

"Me, obviously. I love you and stuff, and I'm glad you're a nerd."

Lucy put her feet up on the edge of the tub. "You can't sweet talk your way out of this one."

He smiled. "Luuuuucy…I've missed having good time alone with you. No reason to ruin it. If I'm okay with you being a nerd, you should be okay with being a nerd too."

"That is _not_ helping your case, Natsu!"

Natsu said, "What if after the bath, I carry you to the bed, and lay you down, and do stuff to you?" He licked his lips, and added, "Until you can't take it anymore."

Lucy put her nose up in the air. "You can't trade sex for forgiveness."

There was a huge splash, and her bathwater heated back up to exactly the right temperature.

"Natsu! You're making a mess!"

Natsu was suddenly in her face, in the bathtub. "C'mon…give me your nerd love, Luigi!"

He reached into the water to tickle her, and she squealed, thrashing around and throwing more water and bubbles out of the tub.

"Stop! I'm angry!"

"Why are you giggling so much then?"

"Natsuuuuu! I'm serious!"

"Give me your nerd love!"

"Never!"

After more giggling and splashing around, Lucy suddenly found herself on his lap, with his arms wrapped tightly around her and his legs pinning hers down.

Natsu leaned down and spoke into her ear, "Are you going to give me that sweet nerd love or what?"

Lucy could feel him pressing into her. "Does it really make you horny to tease me about being a nerd?"

"You do that. Also, wrestling naked. You're really cute, you know that, right?"

This was Natsu at his best, some mixing some combination of getting on her last nerve with buttering her up by being so sweet she had a hard time not giving him what he wanted. He was, of course, an adorable human being, with a boyish, sweet smile and a kind heart. He also sincerely enjoyed seeing how much he could get away with.

There was really only one way to make him repent from all this nerd nonsense, and Lucy wondered if he hadn't been begging her to make him do it all along.

"Fine, fine, let me dry off first. This bathtub isn't really big enough," she said.

Natsu threw her over his shoulder and stepped out of the tub, throwing up his free arm. "Victory!"

"Why do I even put up with you?" she asked.

"Because reasons."

He dried her off with a blast of hot air that was just shy of being hot enough to burn her, and then carried her to the bed with a brisk snap in his eager steps. When he threw her on the bed and crawled on beside her, she pushed him over onto his back.

"You don't think I'm not going to punish you for getting on my nerves, do you?" she softly whispered.

"Do your worst," he answered.

He still didn't know why her 'punishments' were intended to deter him from these sweeping schemes to find her last nerve and poke it repeatedly for fun. Being forced to endure long periods of 'oral torture' was simply the best thing ever, and no amount of it would ever be enough. He'd beg, whine, or say whatever she wanted him to as long as she didn't stop.

They worked out their problems in the big bed for quite a while, until they were completely worn out.

Snuggled tightly, it was a little hard to cool down, but Natsu was just generally a hot person and it was basically impossible to be with him without ending up drenched in sweat. It made her feel sleepy and calm, even if it was hard to get used to at first.

When he rolled onto his back, she knew he was about to enter his strangest mood; after sex, Natsu liked to talk sometimes. A lot, and for long periods of time. During the rest of his waking time, he seemed to give little thought to deep matters or things that were confusing or emotionally traumatic. After sex, he sometimes wanted to go through all of it, and sort it out with her.

She was the same way though, and found these late night, usually quiet conversations in bed were their most intimate and important.

"It's not a joke. Or something anybody should laugh about."

Lucy was confused by this. "Huh? What isn't a joke?"

"Zeref."

She had to think about it for a minute but remembered how he'd reacted to Laxus cracking a joke about Zeref. "That's right. You seemed angry about thing Laxus said earlier."

"You know, the only reason any of that happened was because of me. If I hadn't died, my brother would have been able to live a normal life. He got into all that trouble just because he wanted to see me again."

"Trying to bring someone back from the dead is evil. He shouldn't have done it."

Natsu said, "If something happened to you, I'd do anything to get you back. I wouldn't care if it was wrong or right. I'd just want to have you back. Even if someone said to me that I'd have to live with an awful curse forever…At the beginning of everything, my brother just loved me. That was all. It's not something to laugh about."

"I don't think he meant anything malicious."

"I know. I just think sometimes about all the family I once had. My human parents. Zeref. Igneel. All of them…gone."

Lucy said, "Mine too. I know guild family is important and I consider them real family, but it's different."

"You don't have family, and I don't. We can be our own family, right? We could have the same name and live in the same place, and always be together," he answered.

His girlfriend asked, "Natsu, are you asking to marry me?"

"Is that too crazy? I know people are usually together for a long time. I know I want to always be with you, forever. I think you feel the same way, right?"

Lucy said, "It's a huge step. We are planning on moving in together. I don't think there are really any rules to when you can get married. But I don't want to go to fast and mess anything up. Although, I don't see how we would. It's not like we don't know each other."

Her boyfriend added, "I'll get you a ring and we can have a big deal. Invite all our friends from everywhere. Eat all day, go on a honeymoon. Do all the things people do. You could get one of those fancy dresses, that's all fluffy and white."

"Would you wear a tux?"

"Sure. We have to do it right, right? Igneel told me to follow human traditions when I found the right person," he answered.

Lucy said, "You do look handsome when you get dressed up."

"You look pretty all the time. I prefer undressed, but that's just when you're with me."

Lucy had a lot of feelings about getting married, and some of them weren't great. Her parents definitely loved each other when they were young, but her father was a bad husband and a worse dad. There were an infinite number of memories of her thinking her mom seemed lonely when her dad was just too busy for her.

Then there was the fact that Layla hadn't been able to do much magic once she settled down and had a child. Lucy always worried that marrying young or becoming a mom would result in her development as a wizard either stopping or slowing down significantly. Natsu didn't intend to cause her problems, but life was what it was.

Levy wasn't going on jobs and getting stronger because for the next few months, she had to stay at home with the baby.

She didn't really know how to explain those feelings to Natsu without sounding insane or selfish.

Or, maybe the issue was that she was conflating Natsu with her father, or herself and her mother. When she tried to lay it all out in her mind, it seemed incredibly jaded that she'd think either getting married or becoming a mother would somehow ruin her life as a wizard.

It was thinking like this that was probably responsible for them not becoming romantically involved earlier on. She'd wished at times that they'd become closer, earlier, believing it would have made some of the harder moments more bearable. Maybe, he wouldn't have spent that year away from her if they'd been honest about their feelings beforehand.

Natsu seemed concerned as her mind drifted. "We can talk about it some other time. It's getting late."

"Yes. I trust you. I trust us. I have some feelings that maybe aren't great, but that's mostly me. I believe we're right. We already look after each other. We're stronger together. I've grown so much with you. It's honestly kind of stupid for me to sit around and think a ring and a marriage license would change that. We're writing our own story, right?"

"Sure. It's a happy story, right?"

She nodded. "Of course it is."

While he wasn't sure what she was alluding to exactly, he knew there were some deep doubts in Lucy about some important issues. He didn't really understand them, but he was maturing quite a lot within their relationship and had come to understand that people had all sorts of things going on inside from different things they'd gone through. If he had to deal with them, he knew she was likely going through her own things too.

"It's strange. Before we were together, I thought I was fine. And now you're close with me like this and I suddenly realize I'm junky and messed up and I need your help to get where I really want to be," he said.

The little house in the woods they were building together would, of course, never be the prison-like mansion where she'd grown up.

Natsu was never going to be her father.

She was never going to be her mother.

Natsu shared her goals, helped her become stronger, and wanted her to achieve all her dreams. Under all those doubts, Lucy knew the kind of lifelong partnership they were considering would only strengthen her, no matter what happened.

Lucy snuggled back up to him. "You know what? Mrs. Dragneel suits me just fine."

"Lucy Dragneel sounds like it was always supposed to be your name to me. Maybe that's just me though," he answered.

"So we're getting married?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

Lucy said, "We're having a big wedding?"

"We have a lot of friends, right? They eat and drink a lot. Some people will probably get drunk and want to fight. And some people might not be drunk and want to fight."

His girlfriend poked him in the chest. "You better not be one of those people, Natsu. You'll end up spending the wedding night sleeping outside."

"We've already done all the fun stuff anyway. I guess we're kind of bad."

"Maybe a little. I think everyone does it. I remember my dad telling me respectable girls waited until they were married, but I was born four months after my parents got married. Gajeel and Levy obviously did it too. I mean, if there was a survey, I'd bet everyone over a certain age has done it. Maybe not Gray and Juvia."

"You're so nosy, Luigi."

"I am not! I'm making a point!"

"It's a wrong point. Gray and Juvia have _definitely_."

"How do you know?"

Natsu said, "The scent kind of lingers longer than you think it would on a woman. I think it has a lot to do with how it works. I don't think it would be normal for you to try and wash every last bit of it out of you after. I think it ends up soaking into your skin somehow. You smell like me."

"Ew…Just eww…and all the dragonslayers can smell that?"

"Sure. It's not really a big deal. It's kind of a natural thing or whatever. People that care about each other share scents."

Lucy said, "You're gross, Natsu."

"You're gross with me though. And you like it."

"Weren't we just having a good conversation? I was thinking about what kind of dress I want and what colors we'll have and how many people we'll invite, and then somehow, we're over here talking about how I smell like your gunk because we sleep together."

Natsu said, "Pretty sure we got here because you're nosy."

"I'm going to sleep. Don't talk to me until morning."

Natsu snuggled up to her and despite what she was saying, she went right along with it. They had a certain way they slept most nights, and she was sure she was the happiest little spoon in the world. Her head tucked under his, but resting on one of his arms. His other arm was draped around her, and her body curled up next to his…she felt so safe and warm.

In position as this happy little spoon, she was only reminded that it was silly to think that going forward with her life with Natsu would in any way hurt her. They were even then on a job that was opening doors and expanding her horizons. He was always, always, always dedicated and faithful when it came to helping her achieve her goals and dreams.

Natsu kissed the top of her head and she whispered, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Love you, you cute nerd."

"Love you too, disgusting lizard boy."

**_Reviews Welcome!_**

_Just a shoutout to JJCheno, YourFriendlyPotato, Jazminee18, EmberReverie, darkestangel944, valerioux, OhtaSuzuke, and SuperSaiyajin4Vegeta for reviewing!_


	8. Adventures in Oops

And so, they returned home.

Lucy considered herself better for the job; they were financially set, she'd grown closer to members of the guild, and they'd done a good deed.

As they were stepping off the train platform in Magnolia, she let out a deep, happy breath.

And then…

Happy hovered and asked, "There's something I was thinking about since we got back in Fiore."

"What's what, Happy?" Natsu said, still a bit disoriented from days and days of perpetual nausea.

Happy said, "If Lucy was a unit of weight."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "Really. That's what you spent your time thinking about."

"Well, I'm a cat. What do you expect?"

Gildarts said, "Probably a good thing you're cute, or you'd be dead by now, Happy."

Happy argued, "Hear me out! I think Natsu weighs one-and-a-half Lucy's. Then Laxus weighs two Lucy's, and Gildarts is maybe five Lucy's."

"Gildarts is way less Lucy's than that," Natsu answered.

Happy said, "Maybe Lucy weighs more than I think."

Laxus said, "This is a stupid conversation, but Gildarts is fat."

"Are you still mad I stepped on you?"

"Fuck off, I'm going home."

Happy said, "Wait, _only_ Gildarts is fat? How can you say that with Lucy here?"

Laxus answered, "Girls don't get fat. They get thick, and thick girls are the shit."

As he walked away, Lucy shook her head. "Well, he's pleasant as always."

Gildarts seemed puzzled. "Laxus is into big girls? Didn't have that one on my bingo card."

As he walked away, the information seemed to fizz in Natsu's brain for a moment, and he blurted out, "But it makes sense. I saw his mom that one time when she came by the guild. She was huge!"

Laxus stopped, having heard the comment with his sharp dragon senses, and calmly took his coat off. After he threw it on a nearby bench, he turned and gestured for Natsu. "Come here, Natsu."

"Wh-Why?"

"I'm going to put your head through the fucking wall."

Natsu laughed nervously. "I'm fine over here. My house is that way. In the woods. Far away. What wall? We're outside now."

"Every wall in this damn town."

Gildarts smiled at Lucy. "I had fun. I usually work alone, but we need to do this again sometime, maybe without Natsu calling that poor woman fat. If Laxus was my kid, I'd eat myself to death. Natsu might need a little love and care after what's about to happen to him."

"Great. Just what I wanted," she complained.

Gildarts looked down to Happy, who was now in Lucy's arms. This seemed to be an instinct for Lucy after all the time they'd spent together, as Happy just had her carry him around when he felt like it.

"You're going to insult a girl and then expect her to carry you around and be nice to you?" he asked.

Then he noticed Happy's eyes were bugged out.

Lucy squeezed Happy tighter and asked, "What's wrong, Happy, cat got your tongue?"

"Oh, I get it. You're suffocating him. Good for you," the older wizard added.

Natsu, who had been begging for Laxus to fight him since they left, was more than reluctant to face him when he was pissed. "My mom could have been fat. I mean, I vaguely remember her, and she definitely wasn't, but uhhh…"

The move was lightning fast, in more ways than one, and just like that, Natsu was back inside the train station by way of a new doorway that had been made with his body.

And then he was in the bakery, the tavern, the smithy, the boutique that sold nothing but Happy merchandise, and so forth.

Lucy dug into her pocket for the job request and gently unfolded it. "My goal on this job was to do the kind of work where there's no paperwork for unnecessary property damage. We made it all the up to this point, and here we are. Wrecking our own hometown before we turn in the quest. Great. You can stop them at any time, you know."

Gildarts chuckled. "They're just little boys having a scrap. Leave them be."

"Laxus is beating the crap out of Natsu, and they are wrecking the town."

"Natsu can stop him at any time. Push come to shove, I'd bet on Fire Boy over Shock Tart any day. Natsu just needs to get real."

While giving it some thought, Lucy saw a pillar of fire rise into the sky and knew Natsu had finally decided to fight back.

She wondered if they'd have any reward money leftover once everything was said and done.

Desperate to get Gildarts to intervene, said, "This one time, Laxus said he'd only help us if Cana got naked for him and if I was his girlfriend. He had to have both. Can you even imagine the disrespect?"

"He told my little girl to strip for him?"

"Yep. Good thing she said no, I appreciated almost getting bludgeoned to death."

"Sounds like I need to have a word with that…that."

Lucy's death grip on Happy eased as Gildarts joined the fray and the battle came to a spectacularly destructive end. They left a crater in the middle of what was a playground, and then in the minutes that followed, made a made dash to evade authorities, like the police weren't going to know who caused the dozens of lightning strikes and fire explosions.

She noticed the ends of Natsu's fingernails were burned as he dragged her by the hand, down Elm Street toward the house in the woods. His hair was puffed up in a huge pink ball, and one of his eyelids twitched involuntarily.

As soon as they made it out of town, he passed out and fell face-first into the dirt.

Happy picked him up and carried him along. "You're glad I'm here now."

"Sure. Thanks, Happy. I'm just playing all that back in my head and I'm pretty sure all that was your fault."

"I didn't blow up anything."

"Those are not well-adjusted people, Happy."

Happy said, "What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

"You look funny."

"I'm tired. I'm so tired my body feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, and I just had to run."

They continued on, and exhaustion seemed to wear on her exponentially, like each step was more difficult than the one before that. Her foot caught on a rock while they were hiking up the hill and suddenly, she was awake, tumbling down.

Happy dropped Natsu and grabbed Lucy, who then had a huge gash on her head in addition to other assorted injuries.

The Exceed carried Lucy home first, then Natsu, and then dabbed Lucy's forehead with a rag while he considered his options.

Blood from the head was a bad sign for normal people.

Was Lucy a normal people?

"You keep your brain in there, huh Lucy? I think that's how it works."

When she didn't move for a while and Natsu continued his post-electrocution coma, he decided he'd just piss more people off and made his way into the woods.

If he had to calculate how much Porlyusica enjoyed being awoken by a flying cat at four in the morning, he would estimate the exact amount was exactly none.

"What do _you_ want?" she asked, standing in her robe.

"Natsu is—"

"Who was he fighting with?"

"Laxus."

The old witch narrowed her eyes and slammed the door.

Happy just fluttered in through a window she'd left open. "Lucy is hurt too. There's blood coming out of her head. She tripped and fell."

"Has she moved or opened her eyes?"

"No."

Porlyusica shrugged. "Fine. She lives in town, right?"

"She lives with Natsu."

"That's not far then. I suppose I could take a look."

She kicked Happy out and emerged a few minutes later dressed with her bag, and set out for Natsu's little house. Although she was surprised to find out that the dragonslayer and celestial wizard were cohabitating, she was also not surprised.

Once they got to the house, she examined Lucy and then stitched a deep cut behind her ear closed.

"She's concussed. It doesn't seem serious, but I'll stay for a while and monitor it."

Natsu involuntarily jerked, and she said, "Look at that. I assume he started it, probably begging for a fight."

The old woman decided to tend to him despite the fact she was sure it would only encourage Natsu's behavior. Then she sat down in the living room with a book, making her way back to the bedroom periodically to check on the two wizards.

Natsu awoke first and was immediately puzzled both by the fact he was at home and the fact Lucy's head seemed to be injured. The bandages he had here and there seemed to be a professional job, and he knew Porlyusica's scent anywhere.

He walked barefoot into the living room. "What happened?"

Happy gave him a breakdown, and Natsu worriedly asked, "She just passed out? I've been in kind of a haze but for some reason I think she slept all day on the train."

Porlyusica said, "Happy, take a hike."

"Where do you want me to go?"

"Anywhere. Just leave for a while. You are annoying."

Happy went to his room and shut the door, and Natsu slumped down on the opposite side of the sofa as Porlyusica.

The old woman stared at him rather intensely. "You two live here, together?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting."

After some time passed, Natsu served her some of Lucy's hibiscus tea on a tray with the appropriate accoutrements and the old woman found this odd, like he'd recently become more civilized.

It took a bit longer, but when Lucy finally woke up, she held a hand to her head and groaned loudly.

"O-Ow."

Porlyusica instructed Natsu to stay in the living room and returned to the bedroom to do an exam, checking her pupils. She had double-vision, ringing in her ears, and a terrible headache, so she administered a tincture that smelled so bad Lucy wanted to vomit.

This was a fairly normal reaction to concussion, but…

"Are you pregnant?"

Lucy said, "Me? No, of course not."

"Are you having regular intercourse?"

"…maybe?"

"Are you being safe?"

Her heart started to pound at the idea. "You are scaring me. A concussion goes away in a few hours. The other thing…lasts like…twenty years. Natsu and I have a plan. We also have birth control. We are responsible adults."

"I suspect some normal methods may not work correctly when dragonslayers are involved because dragonslayers aren't really human. It would make some sense to assume dragonslayer sperm might survive much longer, travel faster, and create more durable results than an ordinary person. But no one asks me."

Lucy finished the tincture and said, "If I made a list of people that I want to talk to about my sex life, you would not be on it. It's a short list. No offense. We're private."

Porlyusica dug into her bag and handed her a container. "Fair enough. I'm sure having a baby is easier than having an uncomfortable conversation. Urine, please."

"I don't need to do this, because I'm not pregnant."

"Are you late?"

"By like one day. That's not even weird for me."

Lucy limped to the bathroom and slammed the door, returning a couple of minutes later with the sample.

Porlyusica took it and sprinkled some herbs in it. "By the way, you are obviously not getting enough water."

"My head hurts and my life might be over."

"This is why I don't like humans. Could you complain more?"

Lucy sat on the edge of the bed and asked, "Do you even realize what it would mean? It takes months and months just to have a baby, and then, there's time after that. I probably wouldn't be able to work or train well for a year at least. And then, we'd have a baby. How would we even go on jobs?"

"You may be surprised to learn this, but you wouldn't be the first wizards ever to have a child. Rumor has it that this isn't an uncommon occurrence and that when it does happen, the world doesn't end."

Bristling at the sarcasm, the blonde answered, "Yeah, well. An attempted apocalypse is just a Tuesday for me. A baby would be the actual end of the world. There are so many things I want to accomplish and experience before I become a parent."

"Well, you will need to rearrange your plans because you are pregnant."

Lucy covered her mouth with both hands.

Porlyusica suspected Natsu wasn't going to be thrilled with the news either. They'd obviously etched out some sort of life plan and things had happened out of order. It wasn't really about a lack of love or maturity—unplanned pregnancies just sucked for everyone.

Natsu wasn't the most responsible creature and tended to live for whatever moment he was in, so even getting to the point of being with someone and making plans was a huge stride forward for him. Lucy, on the other hand, possibly over-planned and over-organized, so there was some sort of strange balance between them.

This situation would force Natsu to take on a more responsible role while also requiring Lucy to accept that whatever their plan had been, it had changed.

Lucy asked, "Am I a bad person if I'm not happy about it?"

"It's normal. You two seem like you care very much for each other, so once you sort out your feelings, it'll be fine. What's really devastating is when people who don't care for each other or who have no business being together end up in this position. You and Natsu aren't either of those things."

Lucy groaned. "Ughh!"

"What?"

"This must have happened…Look, in my mind, I imagine we would get married and someday maybe a couple of years from now or more, decide to have a baby and it would be romantic and amazing. You know what actually happened? I got pregnant in a dressing room in a clothing boutique. It wasn't even great sex."

Porlyusica said, "That's obviously a tasteless and inappropriate place to have intercourse. How unfortunate you are experiencing consequences."

Lucy shook her head. "I'm not ready for this to happen."

"You don't really have to have it or keep it if that's what you truly want. I doubt either of those alternatives are realistically on the table for you and Natsu."

"Obviously."

With a sigh, the older woman gently said, "You'll be fine. You'll get over the fact this is happening now, the hormones will kick in, and you'll be so excited you can barely stand it. It's human nature. I hate humans, by the way. All emotions, hormones, and personality.

"For now, you need to take good care of yourself. Magical pregnancies tend to be…interesting. I'd assume with a dragonslayer they might be exceptionally so. Sometimes if one partner is extremely powerful and the other has significantly less magic, magic deficiency can develop, but I don't think that will be a problem for the two of you because you're quite powerful yourself.

"Expect to be very tired. Listen to your body and eat, drink, and sleep as much as you need to. Limit your caffeine, herbal teas are fine, no alcohol or cigarettes. A little exercise is good for you, but don't overdo it. _No jobs_, not even ones that seem safe. Get some books, maybe some with pictures for Natsu. Find a midwife."

"You can do that though, right?"

"Absolutely not."

"Please?"

"No."

Lucy said, "What if there are complications? Because of dragonslayer?"

"Levy was okay. If I remember, her baby was delivered by dragonslayers."

"Is that how medicine works?"

She sighed. "Fine. But just this one time. I may have some…concerns. I'll come by and see you on Friday mornings."

Porlyusica packed up her bag after giving her a preliminary exam to make sure the pregnancy seemed fine, and determined the baby was due the following summer. "Hard to predict what the first trimester will be like. Some women have nearly no symptoms, some are miserable. Ginger tea can help if you have nausea problems. The serum you drank should clear up your head issues, so rest and take it easy."

She left and Lucy peeked out of the bedroom, wondering if Natsu heard anything. Fighting with Laxus tended to dull his dragon hearing for quite a while, and when she sat on his lap on the sofa, she could tell he had no idea she was about to change his life.

"You feelin' all right?" he said, looking at the bandages by her ear.

"I'm okay. So uhhh…I have something to tell you."

"Huh? What's up?"

Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "I'm pregnant."

Natsu's jaw dropped and the only sound that escaped was, "…buhhhh…"

He looked down at her abdomen. "You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. Just…wow…I thought this wouldn't happen," he quietly said.

"It happened anyway somehow, even though we were very responsible, took precautions, and had other plans. Apparently none of that mattered."

Lucy and Natsu were completely different sorts of people so they took the news a little differently.

He seemed absolutely stunned. "There's really going to be a baby?"

"Our baby, I guess. Kind of mind-blowing to think a whole person is growing inside of me right now. Actually, now that I think of it that way, it's kind of amazing. I mean, poorly-timed amazing, but still."

Natsu pulled her close and held her like that for a while. It wasn't what they wanted, but it had happened. It wasn't in him to vocalize negative feelings about anything, or even to hold onto them for a while. He searched in his mind for some new way to think about things, and as soon as she pointed out how incredible the idea really was, he decided he'd just focus on that.

"That is…awesome," he dryly answered, "This is okay. We'll be okay, right?"

Lucy nodded. "I think so."

And then, he frowned.

"What's wrong? Are you upset?"

Natsu shook his head. "I was just thinking you hit your head because you weren't feeling well and I wasn't able to help you because I got into that stupid fight."

"It's fine. You didn't know."

"I'll do better. I won't leave your side, I promise. No matter what, I'll be there. All day, all night."

Lucy pulled back. "That sounds suffocating."

"Do you need to go lay down? Or something to eat or anything?"

"I might go back to bed, actually."

Natsu picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

"I can walk, you know."

"What if you faint and get hurt again?"

The blonde asked, "You can't just carry me around for nine months. You know that, right?"

"I can and I will. I have to make sure nothing happens to you. I'll carry you while you carry the baby."

"Th-That's too much."

Natsu tucked her in and left only to return with a stack of blankets, which he lovingly stacked on her one at a time.

Lucy sighed and threw the blankets to the other side of the bed. "I'm pregnant, not dying from hypothermia."

"I'm taking care of you, okay?"

After that, he went to the kitchen and came back with tea, ice water, and snacks.

"I'll go to the store first thing in the morning and buy groceries. Then I'll cook something real good for you! Some mold grew in the fridge while we were gone cause I didn't clean it out before we left like you asked. I'll clean it…and clean the whole rest of the house too. And we still have tons of work to finish our place, but I can do it myself. You just have to rest and grow our baby nice and big."

"Not too big."

"Bigger than Gajeel's, at least."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "You remember how it's going to get out of there, right?"

Natsu paled and cringed visibly. "That's right, you have to go do that thing with the…and the…I thought I'd almost blocked out those memories all the way, but nope! My memories are vivid from horror. But I don't want you to have to go through anything like that. It looked like it hurt so much."

"I don't really want to go through it either. I mean, I don't think anyone does. It's just what happens. It's what I deserve for having sex in a dressing room. How tasteless and classless was that? I can't believe that's how we made our child. Gross, slapping together while standing up in a public place."

He grinned. "What are you talking about? That was great! I'd do it again. Maybe…maybe a little more carefully but I think about that all the time. We should do more stuff like that."

Lucy said, "I'm already pregnant, Natsu. What more do you want?"

"More of you, obviously. I wonder if we can…it seems like we can't. Maybe it pokes the baby or something."

She took a deep breath. "I'm going to need for you to buy some books and look at some diagrams, Natsu. I feel like you don't have a good idea of what's inside of my body."

"Insides, of course. And like girly parts. O…it's starts with an O…maybe an A…apiaries!"

"Natsu, I think you're thinking about 'ovaries.' Apiaries are houses where bees live."

"Bees live in houses? That's so cool!"

Lucy honestly didn't even know where Natsu had learned this word. Natsu seemed to collect tons of information and was very smart but remembered information at weird times or associated it in comically incorrect ways. The only thing she could think of was that maybe his brain had a bad filing system. Everything was there, but 'apiary' and 'ovary' were somehow in the same folder because they had similar sounds in them instead of being in 'bee stuff' and 'female anatomy' where an average brain would put them.

Natsu had rebounded into incredibly good spirits and was tending to her wide-eyed with curiosity and excitement. Happy Natsu was an adorable sight to see and being pampered by him was only the best thing ever.

She decided she'd drink the tea, and while she sipped, he sat on the end of the bed and started rubbing her feet.

"I heard Levy made Gajeel do this for her a lot," he said.

Lucy smiled at him. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to. You want a foot rub, right?"

There wasn't a time she ever wouldn't want someone to rub her feet, and he seemed pretty pumped up and needed something to do, so she submitted herself to drinking great tea that he'd learned to make just the way she liked while he expertly hot-massaged her feet.

Maybe their delicately laid plans, which she had lovingly penciled into her journal, were going up in smoke even as they hung out there in the bed, but Lucy couldn't find any sort of sadness or regret in her heart after a while.

Natsu was the most lovable goof in the world, and he had the ability to let stuff go and to help other people move forward too. He was protective, and kind, and Lucy knew nobody was ever going to love her the way he did.

He was having some similar feelings, delighting in how she found his little brain farts adorable. Since the beginning, he'd felt so lucky just to be her friend that it was almost hard for him to imagine how far they'd come from that first day in Hargeon.

"Someday, we'll get to tell our kid all our stories. About how we met, and all our battles, and all the fun stuff we've done."

Lucy smiled at him. "You're going to be a good dad."

"You too. I mean, Mom. You'll be a great mom. You're so smart and patient. If you can put up with me, I figure a baby will be a piece of cake."

They ended up snuggling up and talking out everything well into early morning and then falling asleep.

Natsu woke up, cleaned the house, and bought groceries, as promised. Responsibly too, which meant there were fruits and vegetables. He got all Lucy's favorite snacks too, and plenty of milk, even some vitamins. And, of course, fish for Happy, who was waiting for him to return home.

"Did Lucy wake up yet?"

"No, she must be tired."

Natsu started to unpack the bags and said, "Happy, Lucy's gonna have a baby."

"A baby? Seriously?"

"Yeah. It'll come in July. We'll have to give it your room, so you could move into the basement."

"We don't have a basement! And that's mean!"

Natsu grinned. "Just kidding. We're adding a room on."

When Lucy woke up, she joined them in the kitchen. She knew Natsu had told Happy about the baby because Happy was very nice to her and seemed to be almost as eager as Natsu to do things for her.

"You're really going to be a nice kitty?" she asked.

Happy gave her a fiendish grin. "For now."

Lucy happily accepted brunch of eggs and bacon with biscuits, even if there was more flour all over the kitchen than in the biscuits. Natsu was an incredibly enthusiastic and messy cook, but it was amusing to watch him at work, especially if Happy was there, flying around with ingredients.

"Look Natsu, I'm a good girl, so we should move up the wedding."

Natsu asked, "What's a 'good girl' mean here?"

"It means a girl who isn't obviously pregnant at her own wedding. There's such a thing as a maternity wedding gown and I'm not wearing one."

"Huh?"

Lucy said, "Let's…let's get married next month. We'll plan this wedding as fast as we can. We'll need to start on everything right away. We need a dress, invitations, we need to find a date the park is open…we need to hope it's still warm enough next month."

"Next month is November," Happy said.

"I cannot have a beautiful outdoor wedding if it's cold outside."

The exceed answered, "If only we knew someone who could make everyone warm. That would fix all our problems!"

Lucy got up and started pacing. "Or maybe we could elope, save all the money. What do you think, Natsu?"

He had a fork in hand and when she turned to him, he froze and let some egg fall back to his plate. "Do I have to have an opinion? Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Except, I want to have a Battle Royale! Anything else you can do what you want. Just tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen. You probably shouldn't stress too much, it's probably not good for you. Besides, maybe it makes the baby nervous too and it ends up coming out weird."

"Weird like how?"

Natsu just said the first thing that came to him when he thought of the word weird and blurted out, "Ichiya?"

Lucy took a bite of her food, chewed calmly, and swallowed before answered, "Natsu, I'm going to need you to go outside and stay there until I forget you just said our baby might be like whatever that man is."

Happy looked up from his fish. "Ichiya is a real hero, Lucy!"

She was finished eating anyway, and after putting her plate in the sink, declared, "New plan. I'm going to go outside and go for a walk, and you two can stay inside and be idiots together. I will end the next person who compares my baby to Ichiya."

Happy asked, "What do you mean 'end?'"

"Well, Happy, I'm glad you asked. It means that I will Lucy Kick you to the moon," she explained.

She went outside and a few seconds later, had a certain dragonslayer at her side.

"The woods can be dangerous."

"I can protect myself," she answered.

"I was thinking we should go see Warrod to see if he knows anything about helping you with your magic. Even if you can't go and fight, you can still do other magic stuff. I know you don't want to miss time you could be getting stronger," he said.

Lucy smiled and took his hand. "I appreciate that, Natsu."

"From here on out, we have to help each other meet all our goals, right? We're gonna be okay. Our whole family."

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	9. Adventures in Matrimony

There were two separate facts:

First, that Lucy was pregnant, and that meant she was going to go through a bunch of stuff.

Second, that they were going to have a baby.

Natsu processed them separately, and in order like this. Taking care of Lucy was a very natural and normal thing for him, so it was easy.

They were busy, rushing to throw together an incredible wedding on short notice, and while they hadn't provided a reason for the hurry, even Natsu knew people were going to make some educated guesses about why they wanted to get married so soon.

A week before their wedding, Gildarts returned from a job he'd left on nearly as soon as they returned, and Natsu paid a visit to his house, holding the fancy little invitation reserved for him.

When Natsu knocked, Gildarts yelled for him to enter.

"Do you ever hang out at home? You were gone as soon as we got home," the younger wizard asked.

Gildarts shrugged. "It's exciting out in the wilds. Besides, I don't have a cute girl waiting for me. You do remember how much less fun it was to hang out around the house when Lucy wasn't around, right?"

"I guess," Natsu answered, handing him the invitation. "Anyway, we're getting married on Saturday. A big thing in the park."

Gildarts' jaw dropped. "What?! You're doing what?"

"Getting married. Involves a priest. Some food. There's going to be a battle royale and a dress that cost more than all the clothes I've ever owned in my life," he answered.

Gildarts put his hands up. "Hold up. Just hold on. You're going to get married in a week? Are you guys…in a hurry?"

"I said Saturday, didn't I?"

"I mean, are you guys in a rush to get married any particular reason?"

Natsu said, "What are you asking?"

"Is there a baby on the way?"

"Do you want me to hit you or something? That's a rude thing to ask someone," Natsu asked.

Gildarts ruffled his hair. "You're so protective of your girl. It makes me happy. I'll mind my own business."

Natsu sat down on the floor in front of his fireplace. "We haven't really directly told anyone, but I kind of think everybody has figured it out. I mean, you're different. Lucy wouldn't mind if you knew. So yeah, there's going to be a kid."

"Good news?"

The dragonslayer said, "I mean, we didn't want it to happen, but the idea grew on us pretty fast. It's exciting. Lucy's really brave, about to be a mom and all. Moms are pretty awesome, and Lucy is awesome, so she'll be an extra awesome mom."

Gildarts smiled, both surprised at the turn of events and warmed at the same time. During their job together, Lucy had really grown on him and he'd come to respect the fact she was the absolute perfect partner for Natsu, and vice versa. What he didn't know was if they'd just been like that from the first time they'd met or if they'd grown into a completely complementary relationship. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks."

He added, "You can name your kid after me if you want."

"Yeah, right. If we have a boy, I want to name him Igneel. Lucy is…not okay with that. She says it's not a human name. Obviously!"

Gildarts' brow rose. "That's an awful name for a human baby. I'm going to use the word 'human' a little loosely here. I don't really know what it is that you are. Kind of unclear on all that, demon-dragon-boy stuff, to be honest."

"I'm obviously human and my baby will be human. I wonder what he or she is going to look like. I kind of hope if it's a boy he doesn't have pink hair. People have laughed at me about that. Or, if he has pink hair, maybe he can breathe fire too. Fire is a good comeback."

"I bet it is," Gildarts laughed, "Is Lucy well?"

Natsu said, "She's been really tired, mostly. She's been hungry lately, and I think it's pretty cool she can eat me under the table. I told her I was impressed, and she did not appreciate it."

"Oh, you poor senseless idiot."

Natsu said, "The baby is the size of a raspberry right now. So tiny."

"That is small."

"But Lucy is doing a really good job so far, growing a whole person in her. She stopped drinking coffee and tries to eat all the right things, and she follows all the guidelines and suggestions from all these books. The baby is going to have maximum power ups before its even born."

There was something incredibly pure and sweet about their relationship to Gildarts, who just grinned at Natsu's excitement and hopefulness for the future.

"I'm a little envious. I missed all this. What I wouldn't do to go back and get to know Cana when she was yet in the womb."

"You're making up for it now, right?"

Natsu stayed for a while and talked, sharing all the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

When he made it home, he found Lucy in a state of indescribable panic.

"What's wrong?"

Happy seemed to be suppressing a laugh out of concern for his wellbeing because everyone in that house knew they were one inappropriate chuckle from someone being Lucy Kicked into a two-dimensional state.

Lucy said, "My dress doesn't fit!"

"What are you talking about? It fit fine when we brought it home."

"That was three weeks ago. Apparently, a lot can happen in three weeks."

Natsu flashed back to Lucy eating and as his mouth opened, she put two fingers over his lips.

"Natsu, keep that thought inside. It's your fault that I'm hungry all the time, and because I'm hungry all the time, my dress doesn't fit. I can't even get it to zip."

The dragonslayer frowned. "The most expensive dress ever made…doesn't fit?"

"First of all, it wasn't even the most expensive dress in the store. And the money is not the problem here, Natsu. This is my special day and I have the most beautiful, most perfect dress, but it's sized to fit Lucy from one month ago, and apparently, Lucy one month ago was a lot smaller than Lucy today is."

Happy finally broke, and laughter escaped from behind his paw.

Lucy held up her fist. "Give me a reason, cat!"

Happy nervously said, "Why don't you ask Juvia to help you? She's always sewing. Usually creepy effigies of herself for Gray, but I bet she can fix your dress."

"That's…not a bad idea," she admitted.

"I guess I'm still the smart one, huh?" Happy replied.

Lucy turned back to the bedroom. "You two are just alike. You can say just the right thing, and while you're just basking in good graces, always find a way to ruin it. It never fails."

Natsu grinned at her. "It'll be okay. Juvia will fix your dress and we'll get married on Saturday and we'll go on our honeymoon, just you, me, and Happy."

Happy said, "Yeah, right. I don't want to go on your trip. I can't wait to have the whole house to myself. I'll fill the fridge with fish. Some I will eat. Some will probably age."

"If we come home and this house smells like rotten fish…" Lucy calmed herself, took a few deep breaths, and said, "I'm trying to stay calm. So I'm calm. Look at me, being calm. Because our house is not going to reek of rotten fish when we get back."

A timer dinged, and Lucy took dinner out of the oven. It was a roasted chicken with different vegetables and a natural gravy. Since they'd moved in together, they'd been learning a lot more about cooking, but they usually cooked together. Natsu cooked more than she did, and seemed to enjoy it a lot more, but he was known to go a little overboard with the spices because he, unsurprisingly, didn't have the same concept of heat that she did. Even Happy had come to appreciate the care and precision involved in Lucy's cooking.

"That looks great! Thank, Lucy!"

"Yummy!" Happy echoed.

Happy set the table, Natsu poured glasses of blueberry lemonade they'd made earlier in the day, and they had a family meal together. The warmth and wholesome goodness of a family meal could not be overstated to either Natsu or Lucy, who had dealt with being alone and feeling envy toward those who had a family to go home to at night at different times.

But it was okay, because they were making their own family, with Happy and a baby on the way.

Virgo appeared out of nowhere to handle the dishes and to clean up, and Lucy and Natsu eventually took a bath together and retired to the bedroom, where Natsu gave her a foot rub as she lay naked on the bed, occasionally lightly biting her toes because he discovered he just loved doing this and had no idea why.

Lucy was ticklish, she giggled a bit. "Stop it!"

"Never!"

He purposefully tickled her feet and she jerked uncontrollably and squealed, accidentally kicking him off the bed.

When he stuck his head up, he was at the perfect angle to look over her body and noticed something had changed. Her belly, quite flat as his memory served, had a perceptible little bump forming.

"Your tummy is starting to grow!"

"You think so?"

Natsu poked gently. "Definitely. It's sticking up here. I don't think it's food baby."

"What's 'food baby?'"

Then, her eyes narrowed. "Don't ever say that phrase to me ever again, Natsu."

Lucy stood up and got in front of the mirror, standing sideways so she could assess the situation for herself. Since she'd found out she was pregnant, she'd regularly been doing this, but had been unsure if anything was actually changing. The fact her dress didn't fit and some weird business with her bras were the first signs of change, but that was about growing 'everywhere.'

Natsu was right though, there was a little bump beginning to grow.

"I guess the little raspberry is making itself at home, huh?"

She put her hands over the bump. "I think he is."

"He?"

"I think so. Mother's instinct or something."

Natsu smiled. "That seems real unscientific."

"It's not science, it's love."

"Books about having babies are definitely science books, all filled with diagrams and big words. Anyway, on that note, aren't you worried the baby will be like me and not you when it comes to books?"

"What do you mean?"

He self-consciously fidgeted and scratched his head. "When I look at words, they seem all jumbled up. It's hard for me. I don't think I'm stupid or anything, but it's not great to be out in the world and have that problem. The world is maybe…a little smaller for me."

In all the years they'd known each other, Lucy had never heard Natsu discuss these difficulties or what the world was like for him as a result of them. From the beginning, she'd known there was a problem, and that whatever that problem was, it made reading frustrating and extremely difficult for him, causing him to have an astonishingly low level of literacy for an adult.

She suspected Natsu probably suffered from some severe form of dyslexia or something similar, but she'd never heard him complain about it or say anything besides the fact that he hated reading.

Lucy said, "I'm sure the baby will be fine. I have thought about this sometimes, and I think maybe it's something that happened to you and not something you were born with."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you died, right? In a violent fight where a demon destroyed your town. Deaths like that are violent and bloody. If you were pierced, clawed, bitten, crushed, burned, or whatever…there would be scars, right? You don't have any visible scars related to you dying, so I figure it might have involved a mortal injury to your head."

Since Natsu had no memories of dying, he wasn't sure what to think of this.

Natsu pulled her back onto the bed and gave her belly a pat. "Hey, you in there! What's going on? Is it comfy? I can finally see you starting to poke out, you can grow faster if you want. Get real big and strong!"

He looked up and asked, "Is it weird to talk to it?"

"I do sometimes. Usually when I'm by myself. It feels a little silly. It's kind of cute when you do it. I want the baby to know my voice."

"Of course it'll know your voice. You're the mom. Baby Igneel will know his mother right away."

Lucy said, "Baby Igneel is not a thing, Natsu."

"It so is a thing!"

They playfully argued about it, had some quality snuggling time, and fell asleep. For the moment, the stress of the dress not fitting had been pushed from Lucy's mind, allowing her to rest peacefully.

Natsu, on the other hand, awake in the middle of the night and started thinking about what Lucy said.

This prompted him to go into the bathroom and touch his head all over for any signs something wasn't right. Then, in a moment of extreme focus that didn't consider other factors in his life, he reached for Lucy's razors and he shaved his head.

_Completely_.

It was so smooth it was slippery once he finished, and under his hair, he found an absolutely massive, disgusting-looking scar in a v-shape—no way it hadn't been a mortal wound. Under it, Natsu could feel something that didn't even feel like bone, like maybe part of his skull had been replaced. He was certain the severity of the injury meant his brain at some point had been exposed and that was a little terrifying.

The idea that he only had problems reading and sometimes thinking was probably some kind of miracle.

The scar was quite ugly, obvious, and looked exactly like 'something a person dies from.'

As life came rushing back, he let out a deep breath as he remembered all the cute wedding pictures Lucy had planned. They did not involve a bald Natsu with a monster scar on his head.

Natsu was scared to go back to bed because he knew she'd freak out if she woke up; she'd probably not recognize him for a second and then be blinded by rage after that.

He laid down on the sofa in his pajama pants and woke up to Happy poking at his scalp early in the morning.

"What did you do, Natsu?!"

"I shaved my head, obviously."

"Does Lucy know?"

"She's going to be surprised."

Happy plopped down on his friend's shoulder. "I've enjoyed all the times we've had together. Thanks for the fish. Maybe we will meet in the next life."

Natsu heard the bedroom door squeak open.

"I'm going to take the dress over to Juvia's and see if she can help me with…"

Lucy stopped, and stared.

"Natsu."

He cracked a big grin. "Lucy! Good morning!"

"Why are you bald?!" she shrieked.

"I changed my hair, what do you think?"

The blonde said, "You didn't 'change' your hair. You got rid of it. You look weird without hair and that's ignoring the fact it looks like someone stabbed you in the brain with a pickaxe."

"Yeah, so I guess I did die. Do you want me to walk you to Juvia's?"

Lucy laughed in the kind of way that made him tremble in fear. "What I want is for you, Natsu,' to have a full head of amazing, silky, spiky pink hair that's so thick and perfect I could play with it forever. But you're so bald your head is shiny. I'm going to need you to grow that back before our wedding."

"I might have a little fuzz but that's not how hair works," Natsu answered.

"Don't argue with me!"

Natsu asked, "Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"I'll get breakfast on the way. You better have some hair when I get back."

Natsu had no idea how he was supposed to grow his hair on command, but Lucy seemed pretty steamed about the whole thing and was generally stressed about their upcoming wedding, so he decided to let her do what she wanted to do, which was grab some takeout and take her dress to Juvia's room at the dorm.

Lucy practiced breathing easy. The wedding, the baby, and the sight of a bald Natsu Dragneel were all quite stressful, but she knew everything could still be okay.

Once she got to Fairy Hills, she'd formulated a plan to make everything work right, and had calmed down quite a bit.

Juvia let her in and hung her dress on a hook. "What's wrong with it?"

"It doesn't zip. I've uhhh…gained some weight."

"Let yourself go? Less competition from a love rival for my Gray's heart."

Lucy said, "That ship has sailed. Long ago. Before it ever existed. No one else wants Gray. He's weird."

Juvia replied, "Gray won't want you if you keep packing on the pounds either."

Once Juvia unzipped the garment bag, she took a moment to admire it. "Such craftsmanship. What a beautiful dress. Maybe Juvia will get to wear a dress like this someday to marry Gray."

The water wizard measured Lucy, and when pulling the fabric of her top tight against her lower torso, found there was a suspicious little bump there. "Are you bloated?"

"Nope. It's exactly what you think it is."

"A baby? Is it Gray's baby?"

There was a thump and Gray rolled out of Juvia's unmade bed and yelled. "A BABY?!"

Juvia turned on him. "Is she having your baby?!"

Gray waved his hands in panic. "Of course not! She lives with Natsu, how do you think that happened? She's obviously sleeping with Natsu."

"Gray, it's seven in the morning. What are _you_ doing here?" Lucy asked.

"I was keeping watch over Juvia because I thought a strange man was watching her yesterday."

Lucy said, "You just rolled out of her bed with all your junk hanging out."

Gray pulled the sheets down to cover himself, but at this point, anyone who knew Gray was so used to him being naked that seeing him that way was no less important or embarrassing than watching a toddler run around without their clothes on.

"Juvia will have Gray's baby someday. Right, my love?"

Gray sighed. "What makes you ask that? I'm not going along with the baby craze. I'm going home. Congrats, Lucy."

The ice wizard grabbed his boxers and jumped from Juvia's third-floor window in order to avoid any further conversations about having children, which said all that really needed to be said about his feelings.

Juvia just shrugged it off. "He'll come around eventually. If it takes years or decades."

After she carefully measured Lucy and the dress, she began her careful and masterful work, replacing the accursed zipper with a little panel of lace and a ribbon that could accommodate the fact she was the same size in some places and growing a bit in others.

"Your backside seems to have grown more than your tummy. That's interesting," she commented.

"It's not. I noticed my arms were a little bigger. I'm so hungry."

Juvia answered, "This should be more comfortable anyway. You can loosen it up a little when you need to sit down to eat but keep it snug during the ceremony."

Natsu was meanwhile contemplating what to do about his lack of hair. Even he knew that he did not look right without hair. His large, slanted eyes were sort of balanced by the mass of pink spikes atop his head, and without them, he looked…odd. That was ignoring the huge scar on his head, which, as he thought more and more about it, he believed came from falling head-first onto something, which went through his skull.

Happy said, "Maybe you could get a wig."

"I don't think it would look right."

He thought about it for a bit longer, and then Happy added, "Did you notice that when we were on our big job that Laxus kept putting stuff in his hair?"

"Yeah?"

"It came in those little glass vials like the ones Ichiya has."

"That's right."

"He looks just like Master when he was young, right? So he's probably going to look like master when he's old too."

The light went off in Natsu's head. "Laxus is going to go bald."

"Probably. If you knew you were going to get bald and ugly, wouldn't you try to stop it? I bet that stuff he puts on his head makes his hair grow."

Laxus also lived in the forest not far from them, but on the other side of Porlyusica's hut. They stopped there first, and she told him she wasn't a wizard and if she was, she couldn't help him recover from what he was suffering from.

When Laxus opened his door, he looked at Natsu and grimaced. "What the fuck happened to your head?"

"I died remember? Apparently it involved my head."

"That…makes sense, I guess. Do you…want something?"

Natsu said, "Do you magic hair growing potion?"

Laxus stared blankly. "Huh?"

Happy answered, "You're scared of going bald, right? That's why you were putting potion on your head, right?"

Laxus looked over at Natsu. "This cat is pissing me off."

"But am I wrong?" the exceed answered, "You have to know that male pattern baldness is coming for you. Maybe you'll never follow your grandfather's footsteps to be master of our guild, but you'll probably be master of a bald head someday. It's science."

Narrowing his eyes, Laxus thumped Happy and sent him flying through the trees.

Laxus stared at Natsu, and then said, "I owe you one for what happened back at the cathedral back in the day, so I'll help you just this one time, but you better not say anything to anyone. I will put you in a grave, Natsu. A shallow one no one will ever discover, and that kid will grow up without a dad."

He let Natsu in and he said, "Wait, you know about the baby?"

"People don't get in a big rush about getting married for no reason. There was plenty of foreshadowing anyway," he answered.

"Anyway, Lucy isn't thrilled about my new haircut."

"If you're going to marry a girl that far out of your league the least you can do is not make yourself more disgusting."

Laxus opened a cabinet in his living room and took out a whole little box of the tiny vials. "Ichiya makes these for me. Sort of a secret between men. I think if you used a few it might work. Maybe take it slow. They're kind of potent but you're a dragonslayer so not sure how it's going to work for you."

He gave Natsu a pouch with dozen of the vials and warned, "We will never speak of this again."

"Right! You're a real pal!"

"Whatever. Make sure this stays between us."

Natsu asked, "When have I ever revealed any secret of yours?"

"You remember how it used to be a secret that dragonslayers get motion sickness and now it's not because you and Gajeel demonstrated it in front of a hundred thousand people at the Grand Magic Games?"

"Oh yeah! That sucked. Sorry about that. And thanks. Hopefully I have hair by Saturday, or it's going to be bad for me."

Natsu thanked his friend and after collecting Happy from the forest, headed home with his treasure. Happy decided he'd leave in search of fish, and Natsu focused on fixing the problem at hand.

Carefully opening each of the vials, he poured them all into a cup. The liquid was clear, and smelled a little weird, but it wasn't the first weird thing he'd put in his body and it wouldn't be the last.

Natsu gulped down the entire glass, and then, in the seconds that followed, remembered an important detail.

Laxus put the stuff on his head; he didn't drink it.

Natsu felt dizzy, took a few steps back, and then hit the floor.

When Lucy returned home with her dress, she didn't see him passed out behind the island in the kitchen and assumed he was still trying to find a way out of his quandary. She'd already resigned herself to the fact he either needed a wig or to get married bald, and she'd made peace with it. Even without all his amazing hair, he was still the man she loved and at least they'd have a funny story to tell their kids.

She hung the dress back in the closet, spent time curled up on the sofa with a book, and then shrieked at the top of her lungs when Natsu woke up and stood.

Lucy threw the book and grappled for her keys.

"Loke!"

Loke appeared at her call, and she commanded, "Something is in the house!"

It looked like a giant pile of sentient pink hair with no defining characteristics—just a huge mountain of long hair.

Loke said, "You know that's Natsu, right?"

The mountain deformed slightly as he waved. "I can't explain…"

There was a knock on the door, and Loke answered it just slightly, and spoke to whoever was on the other side before closing it again.

Loke said, "That was Laxus. He said, 'make sure you don't eat it.'"

Natsu made a gesture he thought might have been a thumbs up. "Great. Got it."

Lucy sprinted to the door. "Get back here, Shock Tart! You better not be the reason Natsu has turned into a hair monster!"

Laxus turned and trudged back up to the front door. "Hair monster? I'm horrified and wildly curious. But it's not my fault."

Natsu as a giant mountain of pink hair was more disturbing than he'd imagined it. It was the kind of thing most people found naturally nauseating. Although it was quite a feat, he did look more disgusting than he had with a bald head.

Lucy, Loke, and Laxus stared at the giant mountain of hair, which laughed nervously.

"It's not as bad as you think. Kind of itchy. I have hair in weird places."

It really was uncomfortable; Natsu had very long hair growing in his butt crack and it was very uncomfortable and strange feeling.

Laxus asked, "Did you take it slow?"

"I drank it all at once."

"Are you actually a pile of hair or is your body under there somewhere?" Lucy asked.

"I'm under here. Just really covered in a lot of hair," he answered.

Lucy said, "I'm just going to need to understand what happened here. Laxus, did you give some kind of hair serum to Natsu to make him turn into a hair monster?"

"Of course not. Why would I have anything like that?"

Without even needing a second to think about it, she said, "Because you're vain about your hair and would never recover if it fell out like Master's?"

Laxus' jaw dropped a bit. "Are you awful people even my friends?"

"Did you or did you not turn Natsu into a hair monster?"

"Maybe. Can't you just summon that irritating dude with the scissors and a disease?" Laxus asked.

Lucy said, "His name is Cancer, he doesn't have cancer. He's named from the Zodiac spirits. Do you think I summon ill spirits to fight for me? Like, oh let me open multiple gates, Cancer, Anemia, and Dental Cavities! Star Dress: Acid Reflux!"

Laxus pointed at Loke. "That one is probably Chlamydia."

"Okay, you can leave now."

"I didn't want to come in to start with."

Lucy pointed to Loke. "You too."

Loke answered, "I can stay if you're ready to fall in love, my princess."

"I'm already pregnant, get away from me."

Once everyone was gone except Lucy and her beloved pile of hair, she went back to the sofa with her book and cracked it open.

Natsu said, "Uhhh…little bit of help here? I can't really move or anything. All this hair is starting to get sweaty."

"Maybe later. I just really need you to think about your actions for a little while."

It was a good book, interrupted occasionally by Natsu begging for mercy or offering apologies, and Lucy pushing him out of the way so she could get a snack from the refrigerator. She continued her book, worked on dinner, and finally summoned Cancer.

Lucy said, "Can you please do something about that? You know how he's supposed to look. If it's not too much trouble."

"Say no more."

The scissors went to work, leaving hair flying in all directions as Natsu slowly took form. His clothes had been ruined by the outgrowth of hair, so by the time it was over, Natsu was naked in the kitchen, surrounded by huge piles of silky pink hair. The hair on his head had been restored back to its normal state, and all seemed well.

Virgo opened her own gate and disposed of the mess, and both spirits went back home.

Their wedding was mere days away, but Natsu's hair situation had been resolved and her dress looked and fit even better than before.

Natsu got dressed and joined her in the kitchen to help her with a salad. "So…are we good?"

"I suppose so. Only because you're cute. But just so we're all clear, most of your cute comes from that hair and I never want to see you bald again."

Natsu smirked. "I don't want to see you bald either."

She couldn't help but laugh. "I wonder what color the baby's hair is gonna be. My parents and I have blond hair, you have pink, your brother's hair was black. Eyes too, brown eyes on my side, green eyes from you, brown from Zeref."

"Would that be weird for you? If the baby looked like Zeref?"

"I don't think so. He wasn't bad-looking or anything, he was just evil. I bet you two were cute kids before everything went wrong. I wouldn't want to name the baby after him or anything, just because of the legacy attached to it now, but I get that he was your brother," she answered.

Natsu appreciated that Lucy was with him in making peace with the fact that he played a role in the both the rise and fall of Zeref. After everything had ended, Natsu had to face the fact his brother loved and cared about him in some incredibly twisted and strange way. It was still love; Zeref had broken the laws of nature, killed, and sacrificed his own soul to bring him back.

In some ways, he understood that mindset. If anything happened to Lucy, he wasn't sure if he'd care much about what the law was if he found out there was a way to get her back.

Lucy said, "I really like your eyes. I'm really hoping the baby has them."

"I think the same thing about you. We're kind of mushy, huh?"

After dinner, they penciled in some more plans for their honeymoon, which was less of a private vacation for two and more like a list of things they wanted to get done before winter set in and before Lucy got farther along. Going to see Warrod, swinging by some rare magic stores, and doing research were all on the list.

Natsu knew having a baby was going to disproportionately stunt Lucy's growth, so he was happy to take her anywhere she wanted to go so she could get anything she needed to study at home and work on her magic for the next year or so.

He wasn't looking forward to going on jobs without her, but he wanted to both go on jobs and finish their house before the Lucy was at the end of the pregnancy. Natsu was worried if he didn't plan carefully that he'd be out of town when the baby was born, or he wouldn't be able to stay home much after. The windfall they had from their big job overseas was largely intact, but even Natsu knew having a kid was likely to result in all kinds of weird expenses.

Their wedding planner came by on Thursday, and Lucy had their payment ready so she could pay all the vendors.

"It's been taken care of. Someone came by and paid everything that was left."

Her jaw dropped. "Wh-What?!"

"He didn't give a name," she said.

Lucy said, "Who paid for our wedding?! What did he look like?"

"He was an older disabled gentleman. Red hair. He had a prosthetic. He said he was family."

Lucy was so shocked she didn't even know what to say. "Gildarts…"

They ran through all the last minute items, but with money and all disasters out of the way, Lucy felt like it was a huge load off her shoulders. Natsu came home from the guild and joined her, paying close attention because he knew how important the wedding was to her.

It was unseasonably warm by some miracle, so the weather was going to be great for the wedding. Everything had fallen into place exactly the way they hoped, and they were excited.

They took Gildarts out for dinner that night in town, but he claimed not to have paid for the wedding and said he didn't know anything about it, claiming the only thing he got for them was a toaster. This was definitely a lie, but he didn't want credit for it. He was just genuinely happy for them and wanted to help.

"I heard you turned into a giant ball of hair," he said, changing the subject.

Natsu shifted uncomfortably. "That's uhhh…yeah, that happened. I was hair. I mean, not completely hair, but there was so much hair on my body."

"He didn't even look human. In one day, Natsu was two different kinds of gross," she answered.

Gildarts asked, "You want wine?"

"It's not good for the baby," Lucy replied.

"What a cute little mom!"

Natsu nodded. "I know, right? She's the best!"

Lucy found their boyish praise of her as a woman and mother a little cute, but eventually they went back into the names debate and she found herself eating to the chorus of arguments for and against naming their child Gildarts or Igneel.

"Gildarts could be a girls' name."

Natsu said, "I don't even know why it's your name. Igneel is the best."

"Not a human name, Natsu," Gildarts argued.

"I'm so glad the food is good," she mumbled.

Happy, who had been sitting quietly and eating a broiled fish, said, "Probably a good thing Juvia fixed your dress so it'll still fit no matter how big you get, huh?"

Natsu nonchalantly answered, "Yeah, that's pretty cool, right Lucy?"

Gildarts winced. "Oh, Natsu, what goes through that brain of yours?"

"Pretty sure a big rock did. I have a scar."

Lucy sipped her water and replied, "Thanks guys. For pointing out the fact that I seem to be putting on a little weight. While I'm carrying a child."

"You're not getting big, you're getting…" Natsu searched for the word for a moment, "Thick!"

The blonde thought about explaining that she wasn't interested in whatever Natsu had learned from Laxus' apparent interest in big girls. The mere act of comparing her to one on this, a night early in her pregnancy, was not flattering. She was glad Natsu found it cute but would have greatly preferred no one point it out.

Laxus was gradually becoming closer friends with them, and Lucy thought that was probably good for everyone, but honestly some of the mystique around him had dissolved now that she knew he was a fantasy nerd who fetishized thick girls and was worried about going bald.

Gildarts held up his wine glass. "Natsu, Lucy…very proud of you. Congratulations on everything. Lucy, try not to knock his head off, he really is sweet on you."

"I know, I know. As long as he never does that thing with the hair again."

"Which one, the removing or growing it back?" Happy asked.

Lucy said, "Consider them both mortal sins, if that helps."

After their meal, they all headed back to the Dragneel house where Gildarts played cards with talked with Natsu and Happy long after Lucy retired to catch up on her rest. The next day was only the day before their wedding, and the excitement in the house was almost palpable.

Many of their friends were already arriving in town, flooding the hotels and streets of Magnolia with friends from all over. By 9:30 in the morning, there had already been a fight resulting in property damage, and Lucy was amazed Natsu managed to stay put after they heard there was fighting in town from Happy, who had already made a trip there to pick up some milk.

Instead, he stayed at home and waited for Porlyusica, who made a visit each Friday to check on Lucy. This was the last visit before a break for a few weeks for their honeymoon. Porlyusica said that would be fine since Lucy was early on and not experiencing any particularly severe symptoms.

The old woman found Natsu's attention to Lucy to be at least a little cute, but she wouldn't admit it.

As a young couple deeply in love, the level of sweetness was almost sickening, and she chose to focus on how much that irritated her instead.

"It seems you're gaining a little weight. That's good to see," she commented.

"I'm going to punch the next person who points that out."

"I'm your midwife."

"Right. Not you. Happy. Happy is the one I'm going to punch."

Happy was sitting on the kitchen counter with a fish. "I didn't even say anything about how you seem bigger every single day because I know you don't like it."

Porlyusica sat down with her in the living room. "Any new symptoms? Mood swings?"

Lucy quickly answered, "No, nothing like that."

But as Porlyusica looked past her, she saw Natsu staring at the floor and Happy holding up a sign that said, 'Save us.'

"Good to hear."

Porlyusica took her back to the bedroom for an exam, although this time, she broke out a weird looking device. Lucy knew from her books that it was a magical listening device and she lay still while Porlyusica slid it over her bare belly.

"Hmm…"

After taking some time to confirm her suspicions, Porlyusica was certain she was hearing what she thought she was hearing.

Lucy was worried by the whole process and asked, "Is everything okay?"

"There are two heartbeats."

"Two…as in…twins?"

Porlyusica nodded. "That's right. It probably explains why you've been so tired and hungry. Two babies mean two times the work for your body. You should probably consider yourself fortunate you haven't had more severe symptoms."

Lucy sat up on her elbows. "I just feel like this is Natsu's fault somehow. Like, Gajeel had one baby so somehow, he just…he had to do it like this."

"That's not at all how science works but believe what you wish."

"You don't understand dragonslayers. They don't know about science, and they don't care about science. Watch. Natsu!"

When Lucy called for him, Natsu came bounding through the door. "What's wrong?"

"Twins. We're having twins. Two babies. At one time."

Natsu seemed shocked and then laughed. "That's awesome! And take that, Gajeel, only having one baby."

Porlyusica was exasperated by this response and said, "I'm going to recommend you continue resting as needed and that you turn this one back into a giant pile of hair and forget he was ever human."

Lucy answered, "Definitely going to do at least one of those."

Once she left, Natsu plopped down on the bed. "We're going to be a whole big family all at once. And look at the bright side, we said it might be lonely if we had just one kid, but we're having two, so they'll never be lonely, right? Then maybe, our family is just the right size like this."

Lucy had experienced the endless loneliness of being an only child in that big house growing up, so she knew he had a point. Twins weren't even alone before they were born. And maybe there was a certain convenience about having two kids at once—at least, she'd stick with that for now to distract from the challenge of caring for two newborns that awaited them.

"They're even keeping each other company right now, right? When we start going on jobs, and they stay with guild family, they'll be together too," he added.

"R-Right."

It was an exciting development, to say the least, and as they packed for their honeymoon, it was over chatter about the future. With twins, the future landscape was a little different, and instead of talking about whether there would be a boy or a girl, it was one of each or two of one.

One of each would be balanced, convenient. Two girls? Adorable, obviously. Two boys? Mischief, for sure. Then again, any combination was going to be both cute and filled with mischief. She knew it. He knew it.

Lucy was worried this additional complication was going to further jeopardize her progress as a wizard, but everything was already in motion, so she knew she had to stay focused and use her time wisely.

Excitement about the wedding started to grow bigger and bigger, and Lucy wasn't sure if she'd have been able to sleep if she hadn't been pregnant.

But she was, so at a relatively early hour, she fell face-first down on the bed and slept a full twelve hours before waking up in somewhat of a daze.

Happy had already gone on to the park, and Natsu had breakfast waiting.

He smiled at her, she smiled back, he smiled back harder, and this went on until neither of them could smile anymore.

"This is my last day as a Heartfilia."

"And it'll be your first day as a Dragneel. How are you feeling?"

"Good. You?"

"Really good. How about the babies?"

Lucy looked down. "I think they're good too."

They had breakfast together, took a nice, long bath, and Natsu put on his tuxedo while Cancer fixed Lucy's hair up, adorning it with crystal pins that sparkled under the light.

Lucy loved the sight of him in a tux so much she almost wanted to rip it off and pin him down to the bed. That could have been the hormones, but she suspected he probably would have been happy to go along with it. If she was perhaps a little ravenous lately, he hadn't complained even a little.

He watched with a rather adoring expression as she put on makeup in front of the bathroom mirror, but she knew he didn't really care about any of that. Natsu honestly preferred she not wear it to bed most of the time because he could smell it.

Natsu carried the dress bag as they walked to town, where South Gate Park was all decorated and many of their guests had arrived.

The park was divided in three parts: the ceremony area in the center, the reception, bar and dance area on one side, and the 'battle royale' rune cage on the other side. Natsu was, predictably, incredibly excited about this, and he gave her the dress bag and ran over there to sign up for the first round.

Lucy was a little worried about that, but if they blew up the park after the wedding ceremony, whatever.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw some tensions boiling between Gajeel and Rogue, and then Lyon and Gray somewhere else. All the normal things were brewing, and Lucy just wanted her wedding to go well.

With a sigh, she wandered over and tapped Laxus on the arm. "You promised you'd help keep the peace, right? I mean, you'll make them stop, right? Everyone is afraid of you."

"That's not very nice," he answered.

Gajeel swung a fist, one a very festive-looking lantern electrocuted him, leading everyone to look up and discover some of the decorations were, in-fact a miniature Thunder Palace.

Lucy squealed in delight. "This is perfect. And they look kind of cute. Good on you, Laxus. You look good all dressed up. Great hair."

Laxus slumped down in one of the white chairs and said, "Whatever. I'm just here for the open bar and the fighting."

The little Thunder Palace lacrima were enough to talk all the rowdy guests into their seats, and Lucy went to the visitor's center to change into her dress. Since everything was short notice, they hadn't chosen bridesmaids or groomsmen, wanting to keep everything simple.

Mirajane helped her lace up the back and change into her shoes, and much to Lucy's embarrassment, the dress sort of clung to her belly just a certain sort of way that people might notice the little bump.

Lucy felt so pretty in the dress, a mermaid-cut masterpiece with lace sleeves. Her hair was great, her makeup was right. Maybe there were some things they would have done differently if they'd had months and months to plan, but to her, things seemed perfect. As the minute approached, her heart was beating so fast she couldn't really hear anything else as she approached the ceremony.

Music played, she moved to take her position to walk up the aisle and saw Natsu standing there waiting for her.

Halfway up the aisle, she started to feel dizzy, and sort of dim, the same kind of feeling she had when she passed out and fell down the hill.

She was steadied suddenly, as Gray put his arm in hers and walked with her.

"Easy," he whispered.

"Thanks," she whispered back.

The dizziness had passed by the same she made it to Natsu, taking his hand.

The two exchanged painfully wide grins, and then sweet, simple vows.

Lucy was vaguely aware there were some tears among the gathered, especially Makarov. It went so perfectly that she wasn't sure it was real since anything involving Fairy Tail was just naturally going to be complicated.

They kissed, and people cheered.

When the priest said, "May I present Mr. and Mrs. Natsu Dragneel," Lucy thought they'd somehow come to a perfect finish.

Natsu, apparently overflowing with warmth and cheer, pointed at her belly and yelled, "And our twin babies!"

Lucy's expression dropped in an instant and she wondered, if he'd missed the whole reason they got married so soon. Or, maybe he'd just forgotten. Maybe he was just so happy he wasn't thinking at all. But a gasp of surprise rolled over the crowd as basically all the people they knew found out she was pregnant at the same time.

Another raucous cheer erupted after this, and Lucy said through teeth clenched in a smile, "NATSU."

"What? They're happy for us. Everyone is happy. We're happy. They're going to find out anyway. It's not like you're going to keep that belly a secret much longer, right? You're going to be huge soon!"

Happy came out of nowhere and blasted a confetti cannon over their heads, covering a bewildered Lucy and her picture-perfect updo in glitter and chunks of confetti.

And just like that, life had left the realm of 'perfection' and returned to normal.

As the ceremony had ended, they were surrounded by cameras flashing, well-wishers, questions, yelling, and all sorts of other mayhem.

There was a huge meal, loud music, plenty of drinking, never ending gifts, and laughs to go around for ages.

After everyone was good and full, Natsu finally got around to his gloat, banging his head against Gajeel's which had interrupted a little slow dancing with their respective partners.

"Lucy is going to have _two _babies. Whachu got now?" Natsu growled.

"It's not a competition, you idiot, but if it was, Levy would have had triplets!"

Levy glared at him. "Gajeel."

The two men kept yelling at each other, stopping short of violence because neither of them wanted to fall under the wrath of the lightning lacrima.

Levy took her shoes off, because her feet hurt, and turned to leave with Lucy to find something worthwhile to do besides with two stubborn men argue.

Natsu said, "Yeah, well, Lucy is my wife now. What do you have to say to that?"

"What about it?" Gajeel asked.

Levy echoed, "Yeah, Gajeel, what do you have to say to that, Gajeel. They're pregnant and they got married, _Gajeel_. I bet Natsu didn't tell Lucy he wasn't the marrying type, _did he, Gajeel?_ Their babies won't be born out of wedlock will they, _GAJEEL?_"

Every time she said his name, she seemed a little bit scarier and she hit him with her shoe a little harder.

Natsu whistled and took a few steps back. "Gonna stay out of this danger zone. I am not ready to die, but it looks like Gajeel is."

Lucy felt a little tired by this time and he took notice immediately, taking her from the excitement of watching Levy kill Gajeel with nothing but words and one stiletto so they could sit at their table together.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I can't be too tired to have fun on my wedding, right?"

Natsu said, "Maybe you could have your fluffy spirit make you a little fluffy place to take a nap."

This wasn't the worst idea, and Lucy ventured into the wooded part of the park away from their event and asked Aries to make her a big wooly bed. Her level of exhaustion was greater than the noise coming from the party, so she laid down and got comfy and felt Natsu climb up next to her.

Lucy slept for three hours and awoke to find Natsu was still watching over her.

She awoke with a yawn, and Natsu said, "They're kind of wondering where we are, but I think everyone is having so much fun it's fine. Are you ready for more?"

"Mhmm."

It was a different party when Lucy got back, and she was surprised to find it had devolved to the point it had with Natsu not around.

The lightning lacrima were all busted, there were swords everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. There were chunks of ice, lightning burns, and all sorts of other signs that things had gotten really crazy.

The area sealed off with runes for the Battle Royale had been extended almost half the park, excluding only the area where the bar and dessert tables were and the woods. The first stage of the expansion had evidently been 'see who can take the most lightning.' It was a scene of chaos and destruction, but everyone seemed to be drunk and very happy about it.

Rented tuxedos and suits were torn, seared by magic.

The trampoline from the playground had been dragged into the middle, and this was where the king of the battle royale reigned from during his tenure.

When they joined got back, it was Sting, who willfully abandoned his post over a rain of swords, and then it was Erza, who wandered off after Jellal.

"Wait, do trampolines not bother you?"

Natsu ran to claim his place and said, "They're obviously not transportation."

"But hammocks are? Whatever. Go do what you have to do."

Lucy ate cake safely outside the runes while she watched the horror show. Gildarts fragmented Mirajane accidentally while aiming for Natsu once he joined, and she responded by turning into a hundred little Satan Souls and terrorizing everyone else.

Honestly, she was amazed that Natsu had somehow chosen to watch over her while she rested when all of this was going on, because she knew these were the kinds of things he dreamt about at night.

Cana joined Lucy for more cake and said, "This is one of the most spectacularly weird and stupid things I've ever seen with my own eyes, but I can't stop watching. Just look at all these fit, shirtless men going at it."

It got late, many noise complaints were made, but the violence didn't ever properly cease. If anything, it just happened in waves, where different factions formed and dissolved: dragon slayers versus everyone, battle of the sexes, everyone versus Natsu, and so forth.

When everyone was drunk and crazy enough, a matchup occurred that Lucy had often pondered but never actually wanted to see in first person. The little dust up they'd had before wasn't exactly a full-on fight.

Natsu was so starry-eyed about it, he simply sat back on his heels with Happy and waited for the wonder of Gildarts versus Laxus to begin.

Makarov, who had been half-asleep in his wheelchair after his own waves of fighting, immediately separated them with two huge hands. "You will shatter the runes and the city. I won't allow it."

Laxus said, "I don't need magic. I'll go bare fists against this fat ginger. Freed, the runes."

"Oh, is the weather making your Daddy issues act up again? I'll take you, give you that spanking you always seem to need," Gildarts asked.

Freed drew the rule, '_No one may use magic in this space_._'_

Everyone watched Laxus and Gildarts go at it without magic, boxing gloves, or the grace one might associate with moderate sobriety.

Watching these two esteemed Fairy Tail wizards beat the living hell out of each other was a reminder to all that Fairy Tail wizards didn't quit.

Laxus had freakishly long arms, but Gildarts had a prosthetic made from metal that ripped at his skin and banged audibly against his bones.

When Gildarts collapsed to the ground, Laxus rage went to an unexpected source.

"You," he said, pointing at Sting who was standing just outside the runes.

String pointed at himself, and looked up at Laxus, who had blood just dripping from all over face and hands. "I'm…okay. I can stay out here."

"You piss me off."

Sting took a few steps back. "We have…never had a conversation. Why would you be pissed off at me?"

Laxus raised a finger for his grievances. "Dragonslayer. Spiked hair. Same hair color. Uses energy magic. Wants to be guildmaster."

"Is guildmaster!" Mirajane sweetly interjected.

Laxus dragged Sting into the 'no magic allowed' runes and beat him up for no apparent reason than these grievances he'd only just discovered while incredibly intoxicated. Even Laxus knew he would forget why he had done this once he was sober again, but it did not stop him.

Master Makarov broke up the party after that as it was by then early the next morning, and the park and most of the people in it were totally trashed.

Natsu carried Lucy back to their home piggyback, still in her dress. Their clothes were a little dirty by then, but it had been worth it.

"Today was great, right?"

"Mhmm. Sleepy…"

"We're almost home."

"Did you have fun, Natsu?"

He grinned. "Of course. I think the best part was watching you sleep."

"Natsu, don't lie to me. I know you were having the time of your life jumping on the trampoline and throwing balls of fire at all our friends."

"That too!"

Once at home, Lucy barely managed to get clean and get into a pair of pajamas before she fell face-first onto the bed and started snoring, with Natsu not far behind her.

Their honeymoon started early in the morning with a seven o'clock train, which was, currently, only five hours away. But for now, they were resting peacefully as a married couple and ready for everything the future held.

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	10. Adventures in Honeymooning

Lucy's eyes fluttered open as dawn gently filtered through the shades at a hotel in Crocus. She was a married woman, on her honeymoon, with her beloved, and two little lives growing inside of her. Sometimes, it didn't feel real, yet somehow, it was. She could feel Natsu's warmth at her back, hear the rhythm of his breath as he slept, holding her with one hand resting on her belly.

She rolled over to face him, and the movement caused him to stir, his lips turning up into a little grin even before his eyes opened.

"Good morning, Mrs. Dragneel."

"Good morning, Mr. Dragneel."

Natsu kissed her forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"After the night we had, you bet I did."

"That's all on you. I'm not complaining," he teased.

Lucy said, "I think it's the hormones."

"Yeah?"

She climbed on top of him, still naked from the previous night's festivities.

Natsu smiled as he looked her over. Even a week after their wedding, her little bump had grown quite a bit somehow, and her belly wasn't the only thing about her that was changing. She said her skin was oily, but to him, it was like she was glowing all the time, and she bounced between being insatiably horny, hungry, and sleepy, usually in that order. It was easy for him to fall into rhythm with this cycle as he liked to have sex, eat, and then go to sleep too.

Lucy rolled her hips, and he sat up so she was in his lap. Natsu liked the view, but he didn't like any sexual position where there wasn't tons of physical contact. He needed to feel her skin pressed against his, to hear her breath in his hear, to touch her all over the place.

It was romantic in a way, and she loved him for it. He obviously loved having sex, but it was more the Lucy that he loved than the physical act itself.

His body—especially his manhood—tended to get very hot during sex, which induced a weird state of euphoria, and going inside of her, she just felt really sorry for all the other girls in the world who had boyfriends whose tongues and penises and fingers weren't extra hot because that was just icing all over the Natsu cake.

When he rolled her over onto her back, it was with firm but gentle hands, and they had made early morning love, the kind that's maybe a little slow and lazy, bodies slowly rocking together for a while before things heated up.

He teasingly made her beg for release, and she refused for as long as she could until she finally gave in and he pounded her into the kind of orgasm that left her thighs shaking and sticky.

Natsu reached for the room service menu as she snuggled up on his shoulder. "What are we feeding the babies today?"

"Onion rings."

"For breakfast?"

"_Onion rings_. With hot sauce."

Natsu said, "You hate onion rings and hot sauce. Besides, it's not on the menu."

"Natsu."

"Hm?"

"I need onion rings with hot sauce. I need them now."

Natsu got out of the bed and headed towards the bathroom so he could shower quickly before going on this journey to find onion rings at six in the morning. "Anything for my wife, right?"

"I like you, Natsu. I think I might keep you around after all. You know, to help me raise these babies you made without asking me first."

She heard the water turn on as he answered, "I remember you dragging me into that dressing room. You practically asked for it."

"I asked for you to nail me to the wall, not to get knocked up. Anyway, hurry up, I want to use the bathroom."

Natsu was just stepping into the shower, and said, "You can come the toilet if that's what you want. I'm in the shower."

"I'm not going to pee in front of you."

"Why not? I remember the first time I peed in front of you. It wasn't a big deal!"

Lucy said, "Yeah, it was. We'd only known each other for three days and it was _very weird_."

"Just come do it. Once you do it, then it'll be normal and you can do it all the time."

"Ewwww…no."

Natsu added, "You fart in your sleep, and I smell it, you know. And I have a really good sense of smell. I do it too. And sometimes when I'm awake. We should be comfortable like that now that we're married. I'd even poop in front of you, but I think it might make you mad."

"That would be very unnecessary. I don't want to see that."

When he came out a few minutes later with a towel draped around his waist and a toothbrush in hand, he added, "When Levy was having her baby, I think because she had to push it out so hard, everything else came out too. Like everything. So you're probably going to do all that stuff in front of me anyway, right?"

"Are you serious?"

Natsu was nodded as he brushed his teeth, and managed to bumble, "It's no big deal."

"Having babies is gross," she complained.

"Then there was the umbrellacorn and the…I don't remember what it was called, but it looked like a giant chunk of ground meat."

"Umbilical cord?" she asked.

"That's what I said."

He disappeared back into the bathroom and emerged fully clothed, pausing to kiss her cheek. "I'll be back. With onion rings with hot sauce."

"And gummy bears? For the hot sauce."

"That makes no sense, but sure, anything for my wife."

After he left, she got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and got ready for the day. Their honeymoon was going great so far, with every day a new kind of adventure. Some days they took care of business, visiting libraries for research, and other days, they'd just had fun.

Today was set to be a fun day. Lucy wanted to go to the observatory, and Natsu was actually very curious about it. Even though people called him simple, there wasn't anyone more interested in learning about interesting things or going new places than Natsu was. It was almost like an extension of his spirit of adventure, and if she wanted to do something, he wanted to do it with her, and have fun.

Natsu meanwhile wandered the streets of the capital until he found a diner that was open for breakfast and convinced the cook to make him an order of onion rings.

It honestly didn't take much besides, "My wife is pregnant and she really wants some onion rings," to sway the old cook's heart and in no time at all, he was out the door with onion rings, hot sauce, a bunch of other breakfast food, and then on to a little shop for some gummy bears.

When he returned with this feast, Lucy was standing in front of the dresser in the hotel room, wearing a pair of his pants and a sweater since it was getting a little chilly.

"I had a cute outfit planned. Stockings, a little skirt, knee high boots…but my skirt won't zip. And neither will my jeans. This is the only time I will be happy my husband wears stretchy pants."

Natsu set out the food on the table. "Stretchy pants are the best! Anyway, does it seem like your belly is like three times as big as it was last week? It seems a little weird?"

"I don't know. Porlyusica said with twins I'd grow faster. I can sense something, I'm not sure what, but my magic senses can feel there's something inside of me and it's kind of amazing," she said.

Lucy sat down at the little table, drenched a plate in hot sauce, and then carefully arranged the onion rings and gummy bears so it looked like the gummy bears were drowning in hot sauces and clinging to the onion rings. The hot sauce was acidic enough to make them bubble and begin dissolving, so Natsu ate his bacon and eggs and watched this amusing but slightly horrifying show go on as Lucy decided which onion rings or gummies would be devoured next.

Growing up in a lonely house with a stern, neglectful father, Lucy grew up without a properly calibrated sense of fun. One of the things she'd learned from Natsu was that it was okay to be ridiculously silly sometimes, and to create humor wherever it happened to be. Natsu was fun; he showed her how to let go and enjoy these little moments as well.

"Can I have a bite of your eggs?"

Natsu handed her a whole extra plate. "I got tons of food. You want to go by that shop and get some new clothes?"

"Which shop?"

"The one with the knocked-up mannequins?"

The blonde looked up. "Maternity clothes are kind of expensive for something I'll only wear for a few months and then never again. I don't know about that. Especially since I won't be able to work for a really long time."

"I can still work. We have tons of savings now, and if I keep working for a few months, we'll have more than enough. This is what people do. The moms have babies and the dads work hard to make sure they have everything they need. My wife likes to wear cute clothes and be gorgeous all the time. It's my job to take care of you now. I made vows and stuff. Besides, Master says you deserve to be spoiled and I don't think he's wrong."

Lucy found his cute little smile as he pridefully spoke of taking care of her to be just too adorable.

She didn't want him to work without her but carrying and then breastfeeding twins meant they were going to have to deal with it. Lucy knew Natsu hated working without her, and she knew she hated working without him, but their situation was what it was.

After they finished eating, they went to the maternity shop and Lucy paused right outside and stared at the mannequins. "Knocked up mannequins," she repeated, letting out a little laugh.

"It's not funny. Who would do that to a mannequin?" Natsu said.

"Half mannequin, half human? For some reason, when I had that thought Rufus from Sabretooth popped into my head. Like if there is anyone in the world who is half plaster, it's definitely him."

Her husband let out a loud laugh and put his arm around her as they entered the store.

They started to browse the items, with Lucy asking Natsu for his opinion now and then. Natsu thought she looked cute all the time, so he wasn't necessarily helpful, but he did take time to endorse stretchy pants whenever asked.

It was about to be cold, but by the time the babies were born, it would be hot again. Porlyusica said being pregnant with twins in the middle of the summer was going to be wretched, and Lucy believed it since summers in Magnolia were already hot.

A few dresses, skirts, tops, sweaters, and a coat, and she felt good as new. And—of course—stretchy pants.

While they were browsing, he wandered off to the lingerie section and returned, holding a mess of silk and lace on one finger.

"How about it?" he asked.

Lucy snatched it off his finger. "Natsu, we are in public!"

"You're my wife. We're allowed to do stuff like this. Besides, you can't pretend you're all proper and untouched when you're shopping for pregnant pants right?" He took it back from her and held up the garment, a crotchless teddy, and said, "Look, it even has a little opening so I don't have to tear it up."

Lucy could feel her cheeks burning from embarrassment. "Natsu!"

"I want to see you wear it. Please?" he gave her a grin that was somehow equally sinister and innocent all at once.

"Fine. You're really making me blush."

"I kinda like it, honestly. I was just thinking about the last time we went to a clothing store together."

Lucy knew he was talking about the dressing room incident. "Natsu, that is why I need 'pregnant pants.' It's not happening. I'll make it up to you tonight if you behave for a while."

"Fine, I'll be good."

They headed back to her room so she could change into one of her new outfits, and then went on to the Royal Observatory like they'd planned the night before.

Lucy loved it; Natsu was interested in everything even though he didn't know a lot about space. He absorbed bits and pieces of information as they continued their tour.

At the end of their tour, he paused in front of a very large, detailed painting of the moon and stared at it for a long time.

Lucy wrapped an arm around him and sweetly asked, "What are you thinking?"

"The moon is pretty cool. I'm glad we didn't blow it up."

She giggled. "Me too, Natsu. Me too."

During the last part of their tour, they were taken to an art room and given their own planets to paint. This seemed to be something aimed more at kids who took the tour, but it seemed fun enough, so Lucy and Natsu sat at a table together with little pots of paint and their own little foam planets.

"What kind of world are you making?" Lucy said, noticing when he immediately dipped his paintbrush in red.

"A fire and lava one, of course. There are going to be volcanoes, and a sea of fire, and tons and tons of lava everywhere. What kind of world are you going to make?"

Lucy said, "A normal one I guess, with land and oceans and stuff. Your world doesn't sound like much fun."

"It's the best!"

She worked on her little planet for a while, peeking over at Natsu with his rough, unpracticed strokes of red and dark red and a little black here and there. His idea of a 'really cool planet' was basically what anyone else might define as the literal definition of hell.

"Natsu, if you and I were on different planets, what would you do?"

"I'd come to your world, of course."

"How? Don't say Happy. Happy can't fly you into space."

Natsu said, "I'm not an idiot. What I'd do is, swim down to where the Tower of Heaven crumbled, and find the pieces of Etherion I broke off before the tower blew up. I'd pack them into a bag. Then I'd eat a ton of fire, and blow it toward the ground, which would push me up, and once I ran out of magic, I'd eat the Etherion and keep going. I'd eventually get to the part of space they were talking about where there's no air and you float."

Lucy paused for a moment to marvel at the idea that her husband, who uttered the word 'umbrellacorn' only hours before, had a plan to escape from earth's atmosphere that might work. She found this exchange to be a weird insight into the peculiar genius he definitely possessed but used strangely.

"What then?"

Her husband said, "I'd wait for you to come save me, of course. By the time I got out there you'd already have a whole plan about how to get me and bring me home. Then you'd pull me down into your world and yell at me."

"Yell at you?"

"Yeah," he said, changing his voice to mock her, "What are you doing in outer space, Natsu? I TOLD YOU TO GO GET ME ONION RINGS WITH HOT SAUCE."

Lucy giggled at his impression and kissed him on the cheek. "We should do this."

"Do what?"

"Go on a little honeymoon, at least once a year. Like a week or something where we just go somewhere and have fun. Maybe we'll have to wait a bit before we can do it again, but this is just a really, really happy time in my life."

Natsu said, "Sure, I bet someone will look after the twins for us. Maybe Laxus? He's really strong."

"Maybe…hell to the N-O. I'm not even ready to have that conversation."

(…somewhere, Laxus felt intensely annoyed for a few moments and had no idea why…)

After they left, they stopped at a photobooth for more pictures. Lucy had her camera from when she worked at _Sorcerer's Weekly_, and they stopped to make as many memories as they could. She planned on making a scrapbook so they could always look back on their honeymoon and remember how great it was to feel exact the way they felt then.

For the rest of the day, they visited sights, went out to dinner, had ice cream, and finally made it back to the hotel room, where Lucy put on the lingerie for Natsu.

An hour later, she was staring up at the ceiling, sheets pulled up to her chin. There was a pile of tattered, singed lace on the floor next to the bed.

"…why did you tear it up again?"

"I got a little bit too fired up. Sorry."

"Of course you did. This is why we can't have nice things, Natsu."

"Because I burn them?"

"Yes, because you burn them. Normal people don't just have stuff in their house that ends up getting burned up."

"Normal people have never had a mermaid in their bathtub. Normal people are boring," he answered as he rubbed her belly and then gave it a little kiss. "Goodnight you two, and," he kissed Lucy on the lips, "Goodnight to you. Love you all. Our family."

"Goodnight. Love you too."

The next morning came, and they checked out of their room and took the train out to the desert to see the 'old, old man,' Warrod Sequen. After they checked into a hotel at the nearest town, they took the long hike to Warrod's house.

Natsu offered to carry Lucy, but she insisted on walking on her own, since it was not far, and it was a nice little opportunity to get some exercise in.

When they arrived at the home, a housekeeper showed them in to where Warrod was tending to some seedlings on a long table in the living room.

"Makarov said you'd be coming, Please, sit," he said.

For the better part of two hours, they discussed Lucy's powers: how she developed them, the inner functionality of her keys, the advent of Star Dress—a magic that seemed unique or new to the world.

Warrod said, "Are you the first summoner to use Star Dress?"

"I think so. I've never heard of it, and it was given to me by the Celestial Spirit King."

The old wizard had tea served for them and while he thought about various angles of the situation, he asked, "Do you know what kind of magic Celestial Spirit Summoning evolved from? Nearly every non-elemental magic has a parent magic…something basic it grew from."

Lucy looked down. "To be honest, I don't."

Warrod said, "I would think it's a distant descendant of a magic called the Arc of Janus. It is a collection of primal magics involving gates and time. That magic is considered lost magic, possibly lost to time forever. It may hold the secrets you need."

"What am I supposed to do if it's lost forever?" Lucy asked.

The saint wizard said, "When you and your husband have lived your lives and moved on from this world, people will be able to learn about who you were and what you did by talking to your children and your children's children. You might have descendants in two hundred years that have pink hair. It is the same with magic. The answers you seek are likely mixed in among magics that are descendants of the Arc of Janus. The more closely related, the more you will be able to learn. Start with the oldest related magics that you can find."

Lucy understood what he was trying to communicate, but there were many magics that seemed to involve the use of gates and a handful that mentioned time. Ultear's magic, the Arc of Time, was the first one she thought of, and knew it was probably more closely related than others, but she had no idea if there were any texts left even though someone who used it had been around recently enough that she met the user.

Requip magic technically involved a gate, and a parallel space, so that was an easy one to add.

Warrod helped her make a list of thirty or so magics that worked in the realm of time or gateways, and then they ranked them by age, level of difficulty and power, and made notes. Some were lost, some were rare, but many were nearly powerless and incredibly common.

But somewhere, at the roots of all these strange magics, was the answer about how she could transition to a powerful ability-type wizard.

It was going to be a massive research project, and essentially, she was creating her own branch of magic, but she felt empowered and knew she honestly had some time to study.

Warrod said, "If you are studious, and tread your own path, you will sit among the great wizards of this world. The process going on inside of your body may also help. The truth about children is that while children take strength from their mother, the mother also develops strength because she has nurtured them. That may not only be a spiritual transaction for you, bearing the twin seeds of a dragonslayer."

"You think this might affect my magic or my body somehow?"

He answered, "You share your blood with them, and they share theirs with you. Dragonslayer magic changes the blood, and if either of the little ones have inherited that blood trait, you have dragonslayer magic pumping through your veins right now. Dragonslayer magic changes the body."

Natsu listened intently, but he wasn't sure what to say to any of it; he knew Lucy's path forward in magic was one that involved a lot of books and studying. Elemental magic was easy, almost subconscious, but in many ways overly simple. Lucy's magic was so much more advanced, with more moving pieces and more knowledge required to make anything work.

By the time they left, Lucy had an intense focus on her magic that was so intense she didn't pay attention to where she was walking and tripped, only to be caught.

"Are you going to let me carry you now?"

She sighed. "I'll take a piggyback ride I guess."

Natsu let her climb on his back and started down the path. "So does that make me your little piggy?"

"I guess it does. Oink oink."

"I am the son of the Fire Dragon King and you're over here calling me a pig."

Lucy kissed his cheek and hugged his neck. "But you're _my_ piggy, and I think pigs are cute anyway."

"I only think about food when hear the word 'pig.'"

"You only think about food when you hear _any_ word."

She sighed contentedly, and he asked, "What are we eating tonight? I saw a place that probably has onion rings and hot sauce."

"I'm over it. How about some steak? Maybe some pork chops? I really need some meat."

Natsu said, "You remember you were calling me a pig like ten seconds ago, and now you want pork. Do I need to sleep with one eye open or something?"

"Are you asking if your pregnant wife will eat you if you don't feed her? The answer is probably yes, but do you really want to know? It would be so much easier to just buy me dinner," she teased before biting his ear.

"Now you're tasting me?"

"You want to taste me back?"

"When we get back to the hotel. I'll have a taste, and I'll give you some meat."

Lucy said, "Are we talking about real meat or your cock? I'm getting my sexy and food metaphors all mixed up because I'm horny and hungry at the same time."

"We'll eat dinner before that so, definitely my cock. It would be weird for me to just break out a steak while we're in bed. I like steak but that doesn't seem sexy. It would have to be a really good steak. Like the really juicy kind that's wrapped in bacon and covered in butter."

His wife said, "Yeah, we're going to put 'steaks in bed' on the mortal sin list with head shaving."

As promised, they had a big dinner, and when they got back to their room, they got ready for bed and then settled in for the night.

Natsu pushed the sheets back.

"I'm kind of tired…"

"Piggy needs his meal," he teased before oinking a few times at her.

Lucy put her foot on his chest. "Absolutely not going to have you make that noise while you're going down on me. I will kick you so hard that when you wake up again, your children will be grown."

He bit her toe playfully. "Piggy needs a snack!"

"We are not making this a thing we do!"

Natsu nudged her labia with his nose like an actual, real live pig rooting around on the ground, letting out little happy grunts.

"I hate you right now."

"Piggy is hungry!"

Lucy wondered if other couples had moments like this, and then she decided situations like this might just be unique to them. Natsu liked to play as much as he liked sex, and so these absurd little episodes where just the color that filled in their moments together. He stopped misbehaving when she grabbed him by the hair and held his head still, ordering him to do a right and proper job.

Natsu obliged, did his good work on between her legs, and then rocked her world for a while before snuggling up close.

"Are we done with the pig thing?"

He oinked a couple of times in her ear. "Okay now I'm done."

She rolled over and looked into his eyes. "Let's say one or both of the babies is a boy. Igneel could be a middle name, you know. Maybe we could pick something concerning fire for the first name, and then Igneel could be the second name."

"I changed my mind."

"Really?"

Natsu said, "I've just been thinking a lot."

"About what?"

"I know you wanted to name a girl after your mom, and I thought it would be a nice way to remember Igneel too. But you can't do anything nice for someone who is dead, Lucy. What we're really talking about doing is tying our kids to tragic things that happened. Maybe we shouldn't name them after anyone, just give them nice names that fit them when they're born and let them live out their own lives as themselves."

As soon as he said it, Lucy thought about what it might be like to be someone named after another person who had died. It wasn't a pleasant idea at all, and Natsu seemed to have stumbled upon this feeling on his own.

"I never thought about it like that, but you're right. I don't want our children to be tied to someone else's legacy. They need to grow into their own people. I think your dad and my mom would be happy that we're starting a family together. I think that's enough," she answered.

"I think so too."

-Reviews Welcome!—

_Note: I am so grateful for all of you who are still reading and enjoying this story and especially to those who have reviewed – animeflower107, Collaborative Lady, guest, Glassygirl, darkestangel944, valerioux, Roll24k, copperreign12, ohtasuzuke, supersaigajin4vegeta, and Ember Reverie! It's so encouraging to me just to know that people are also taking this in as I'm writing it out and it's good for me to create and good for them to consume. I don't know. I'm weird._


	11. Adventures in Family

Natsu crept quietly into the bedroom, having been gone for almost six weeks on a job he thought would only take three. He expected Lucy to not necessarily be pleased with him about it, but it might stack up to be the thing she was least upset about once he talked to her.

After their honeymoon, they'd settled into a peaceful rhythm. He went on jobs, spent time with her, and went on more jobs. He wanted to be far enough ahead that he could stay home with her once the pregnancy was at its end, just in case. The idea of her needing help or going into labor when she was alone out in the middle of the forest was no good.

Planning ahead with money was new for Natsu, but Lucy helped him, and he stayed focused on the fact they were about to have two brand new babies in a few months.

Their job had taken him to the nearby nation of Caelum, which was—as Laxus described before they went— 'the most depressing shithole in Ishgar.' One year after a plague that came with famine, there had been widespread issues. Many people had died, they were just getting to a point where most could meet their food needs, and lots of families had been affected by what happened.

Natsu sat on the edge of the bed next to his wife, and she opened her eyes and smiled when she realized he was finally back.

"About time," she groggily complained.

"Sorry I'm late."

Lucy gave him a sleepy smile. "Come lay down with me. Unless your dirty, in which case, you better get off this bed before I Lucy Kick you out the window."

Natsu said, "I'm clean…-ish?"

"That's not reassuring."

Now five months pregnant with twins, Lucy's belly was already large, and it had grown significantly since the last time he'd seen it.

"You're huger than before. I wonder how big you can really get?" he teased.

His wife asked, "I wonder what kind of sound you'd make when you land at the bottom of that cliff? Maybe an 'ouch!' or a 'eeeek!' or one of those growly animal sounds you make."

Natsu said, "You always make fun of the growls when we're not in bed, but you love them when we are. Or the kitchen table, the sofa, or the library at the guild."

"I don't know anything about that."

"I do. You pull my hair and call me your little animal. I like it."

When she sat up, her belly under the silk nightie became misshapen for a moment, shifting out one way and then this way, and then out again.

Lucy pulled it up and showed him the way her belly was moving, and he put his hands on her bare skin.

"Ohhhhh…wow. Wow. They're moving around in there?"

When she put her hands over his, she smiled, and he smiled back.

"It's pretty cool, right?" she whispered.

Natsu nodded. "I know we didn't exactly plan for this, but I'm glad it happened most of the time. I know it's harder for you than me. Maybe that's selfish."

She shook her head. "I'm happy too. Happy accidents."

He nervously laughed. "So, there's something I have to talk to you about, and I think you might not be happy with me, but I just…I couldn't figure out what to do."

"What is it?"

Natsu looked down and said, "When we were in Caelum, it was cold up in the mountains where we were. We got stranded in this little town, because the train couldn't run, but it was just Gray, Happy, and me on the job, so whatever—the cold's not a big deal for us. Anyway, we went out to get food and we found this kid outside, freezing, hungry, and so weak.

"We brought her to our room, and we started feeding her and trying to get her warm. She was sick and hadn't eaten right in a long time. Caelum has thousands of orphans. They're everywhere. We took her to a church, and they couldn't take her. Then to orphanages. Nobody would take her in."

Lucy worriedly asked, "What happened to her?"

"Sleeping in our living room? It was either that or leave her out on the streets. She's tiny. It would be the same thing as if we just killed her and left," he said.

She sat up a little more and asked, "You brought a child home?"

"Yeah…"

Lucy decided to refrain from the surprised fit she honestly wanted to have, but it was clear that Natsu knew what he'd done was serious business and still did it.

Natsu said, "We just didn't have any other options that weren't 'leave this kid to die.'"

"What's her name? How old is she?"

"Her name is Piper. She's four."

He got up when she tried to get out of bed, which had become a bit of an effort, and they walked quietly into the living room where all she could see was a mess of lilac hair and one shockingly thin and tiny arm sticking out from under the blanket Natsu had covered her in.

Lucy pulled the blanket back a little and realized Natsu wasn't joking about how close to starving to death she'd really been. "Poor thing…"

"According to the locals, her parents had a little shop. Things started to get scarce, and some violent scavenger killed her parents and robbed the place. People who are native to Caelum don't have purple hair, and I think that's why…why maybe no one wanted to help. That country has a lot of feelings about people who come from foreign places, like they don't deserve the same rights as people who have been around.

"There was this attitude wherever we went that there wasn't enough, so they'd take care of the kids that looked like they did first."

No matter how controlled Natsu tried to make his voice sound, Lucy could hear how angry he was as he tried to explain that he'd brought this little girl home because racist people in her own country felt other orphans deserved to be cared for as a priority.

She couldn't imagine that he'd taken it well in the moment.

Some people were probably punched.

Since Natsu had been adopted by someone who wasn't even the same species, she assumed it had been hard for him. Natsu had a bit of a tender heart, and he hated seeing people be evil or cold to each other. He had been a child all alone in the world, so he identified with others who were in that position.

Gray had gone through stuff as an orphan too, so she could understand how two grown men had ended up carrying a small child around trying to find someone to take care of her.

Lucy sat down on the coffee table and watched Piper sleeping.

Maybe she was entitled to a certain amount of anger because her husband went on a job and brought a whole-freaking-human-being home. She tried to put herself in his shoes and couldn't figure out anything else he might have done, and she wouldn't have wanted him to leave her to fate.

"She's not a lot of trouble. She's potty trained and can feed herself, and all that kind of stuff. If it's okay with you, we can take care of her, maybe talk to one of those agencies where people go when they can't have kids. Things are a little better here, so I'm sure we'll have better luck," he said.

Lucy doubted from the beginning that this was a short-term arrangement.

When they went back to the bedroom, they spent a long time talking, mostly about the girl sleeping in their living room, but also about the job, the pregnancy, and Lucy's magic research.

Lucy fell asleep and woke up the next morning to noise.

She got dressed and went into the main area of the house to find Natsu cooking breakfast and while Piper sat at the table, her skinny legs swinging off the chair. She and Happy were singing some nonsense song about how delicious fish were.

Lucy sat down and smiled. "Hi there, Piper. I'm Lucy."

"Hi. You're Natsu's wife?" she asked in a tiny little voice and words that weren't quite enunciated correctly.

"That's right. He's my husband. I'm his wife."

Piper had curly lilac hair and big green eyes, making her little face quite colorful and vibrant. "How come you married a boy with pink hair?"

Natsu turned and said, "That's kind of rude, you know."

"I wanna know," she insistently answered.

Lucy said, "Well, Natsu and I care about each other a lot. I'm happy we're together."

"But boys shouldn't have pink hair."

Natsu put a plate of lopsided pancakes down in front of her, and then started cutting them up, seemingly accustomed to helping her get ready to eat.

"Well, I have pink hair. So there," he said.

Piper added, "Pancakes are 'possed to be like a circle."

"What are mine then?" he asked.

"Like an oopsie."

Lucy laughed a little and Natsu said, "I don't know why you're laughing. Your pancakes are going to be oopsie-shaped too. That's the best I can do. They'll taste good."

Piper turned to Lucy and abruptly asked, "You gots babies in you?"

"Yep. Two."

"What are they doing in there?"

"Growing!"

The girl asked, "They'll come out though?"

"Yep. In the summer when it gets hot."

She changed subjects then to the more immediate concern. "How much do you like pancakes?"

"A lot."

Lucy smiled at her and then up at Natsu.

Happy said, "Fishy fishy, better than an oopsie pancake!"

"You guys are being mean about my cooking!"

Happy answered, "You're being mean to the pancakes!"

Piper giggled at the exchange, which Lucy knew was just to make her do so. Her voice sounded happy, but she looked so unwell and incredibly malnourished.

Lucy asked, "Maybe we can take her to Porlyusica?"

Natsu nodded. "Probably a good idea."

They bundled the girl up, and Lucy braided Piper's hair after Piper recounted Gray and Natsu's failed efforts to do so. Lucy honestly couldn't imagine how terrible that went, but it left a four-year-old thinking they were hair idiots. Gray doing anything with a child was a strange thought, but he was a nice guy and was obviously sympathetic to the situation.

It sounded like she was chopping wood as they approached, but when they got there, they found Laxus chopping wood with an irritated expression while Porlyusica leaned on the hut complaining to him about Makarov.

"He's supposed to come for a checkup on Mondays. Do you know what he was doing on Monday?"

Laxus rolled his eyes so far into his head they seemed entirely white. He held up the ax and said, "Why do I have to use this thing?"

"Because pre-burnt firewood is about as useful as giving a blow dryer to a goldfish," she answered.

Over the time she'd been living in the woods, Lucy had learned Laxus spent a lot of time doing stuff for different elderly people connected to Fairy Tail. Yajima, Porlyusica, Master Bob, and Makarov all frequently sent him on errands and asked for favors, and he seemed to generally go along with it.

Laxus looked up. "You're back."

"Yo!" Natsu said.

The lightning dragonslayer looked up and saw a strange, skinny child sitting on his shoulders. "What is that?"

Piper indignantly said, "I'm a girl and my name is Piper!"

Lucy explained, "Natsu brought her home from his job."

"Just like that?"

Porlyusica said, "Natsu, put that child down and come here."

This seemed like an explicit threat, but Natsu complied anyway, gently lifting Piper and putting her on the ground.

Porlyusica grabbed Natsu by the ear and dragged him back behind the hut. "You idiot! Your wife is already pregnant! Did your pea brain get loose again or maybe it fell out?"

Piper giggled at Natsu getting in trouble, although she didn't understand why it was happening.

Then, she looked up at Laxus and asked, "Are you a giant?"

Laxus thought for a moment and said, "No?"

"What's your name?"

"Laxus."

"Can I touch your hairs?"

Lucy sighed. "We don't talk about Laxus' hair. It's a sensitive topic."

"It is not a 'sensitive topic,' geeze," he defensively answered.

No one else could have made this request, but Laxus decided Porlyusica might chase him with the ax if he was rude to a malnourished child and he honestly didn't have time for that. So he knelt and leaned his head down, and Piper patted his spiked hair with both hands.

"So soft! So lots of it! Sooo much hairs!"

He stood up and ruffled it back in place.

Lucy said, "Awww, a girl who like your hair as much as you do. Cute."

"You're kind of a bully. I'm nice to you, even though you're enormous and you're starting to walk a little weird," Laxus complained.

Lucy glowered. "Is that your idea of nice?"

Porlyusica came back from behind the hut, and Natsu followed, rubbing a rising bump on the side of his head. "Laxus, watch the child for a moment while I speak to Natsu and Lucy."

Laxus turned and said, "Uhhh…no? I'm done here. How much fucking wood do you need?"

Porlyusica picked up a big stick and hit him upside the head. "Curse in front of the child again. I dare you!"

"Aren't you supposed to be a doctor or something?" he answered.

"You ungrateful...We'll finish this conversation later. I'll teach you some manners if it's the last thing I do."

Laxus narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, sulking so hard it was almost audible.

The old woman said, "Chop that pile of wood, or I will turn you into a toad."

Laxus was sure she didn't have this ability, but his grandfather did, and Makarov was quick to employ unusual means of punishment. He was left with Piper, who stared up at him expectantly and then asked, "Can I hold your ax?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because it's an ax."

Piper smiled. "I won't do it on you."

The dragonslayer found the cheerful way she reassured him she wouldn't try to ax him to be a little creepy, but before he could answer her, she took a few steps behind him and pointed.

"Pink mushroom! Are they yummy?" she said, pulling it up from the ground.

Laxus took it from her and said, "These are mushrooms for grownups."

"Why can't I eat it?"

"Because it's for grownups."

"Why?"

He was sure letting a child eat a 'magic mushroom' and get high within a minute of being responsible for watching her would get him into some trouble. He'd probably get downgraded from toad to worm.

So he picked her up and hung her from a branch using a loop on her little pants, leaving her suspended from the tree.

Piper found this was a little fun since it changed her perspective a bit and put her up higher from the ground. "Now I'm tall! You gots any pets?"

"I have a cat. He's old now."

"What's his name?"

"Nipples."

As soon as he said it, he knew he probably shouldn't have. It was a lewd name he'd given the now sixteen-year-old cat when he was a teenager.

"Can I see your Nipples?"

Laxus cringed. "No, he's old and mean and half-blind. Happy should be enough cat, right?"

"Happy is a people, not a cat. Can I hold the ax?"

"Again, no."

"Why?!"

"Because its for grownups."

Piper said, "I'll grow up someday. Then I can do whatever I want."

"Good luck with that."

Laxus could vaguely remember being a young child and being so excited to grow up, and now that he knew how disappointing adulthood was, he almost felt bad for the kid. Adults used freedom to do jobs, pay bills, and do other grown-up stuff. The allure and glee of being free was somewhat lost on him, even though he lived a more adventurous life than most.

"You gots candy?"

Laxus fished into his pockets and said, "I have a mint?"

"Hmmm…can I have it?"

She unwrapped it and stuck it in her mouth when he offered it to her, and then gave him the wrapper to dispose of.

"You gots a wife?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want one?"

"Why?"

Inside, Porlyusica asked, "How on earth did this happen? Getting ready to have a baby is a certain amount of stress. Twins is even more. Now you're bringing another child into the house?"

Lucy explained what had happened, and Porlyusica looked out the window at the child, who was hanging by her pants from a tree branch.

"It's just temporary, maybe, until we can figure something out," Natsu added.

"I obviously don't recommend doing anything like this, but I wouldn't want someone to be left to starve or freeze. Children are surprisingly adept at surviving once they hit a certain again, but she's not there yet."

Lucy said, "She doesn't look like she was going to make it without some help."

Porlyusica also doubted whether the arrangement would be temporary, as neither seemed capable of the kind of disciplined kindness required for fostering a child. Natsu and Lucy were extraordinarily loving, but emotionally sloppy and incredibly enthusiastic about whatever they did. Natsu called people his friends as soon as they stopped being his enemies, and Lucy wasn't any better. If anything, she was worse than he was.

She had Laxus bring the child inside inside and while he went back to chopping wood, Porlyusica gave Piper a thorough examination and found living the life of a young beggar gave her some impressive communication skills. She'd developed a certain kind of charisma out of desperation, and a willingness to speak to strangers where most well-protected children her age might have been shy.

"Laxus said I can't see his Nipples," she abruptly blurted out.

Natsu quickly said, "Nipples is his cat. Let's not…let's not kill Laxus today. I don't think Piper knows what nipples are."

"They're on the boobies!"

Lucy grimaced visibly. "Piper, we don't talk about nipples, okay? Nipples are private things."

Porlyusica finished the exam and said, "Make sure Piper takes vitamins, drinks lots of milk, eats nutritionally dense meals for a while. Biggest cause for concern is calcium deficit. Her teeth and bones need it, and it already seems like her growth has been stunted a bit. Lucy is already on a high-calcium diet so that should work for both of you. Keep her away from other kids until she recovers her strength, or she might get sick."

She sent Piper back into Laxus' care, and he immediately put her back on the tree branch.

Then she asked, "You two are a couple of the kindest idiots I've ever known."

Natsu laughed nervously. "That's us."

Porlyusica said, "I would like to bring something to your attention. An orphaned girl has more challenges than an orphaned boy does. Piper has exotic-looking hair and she'll probably be small and pretty. There's an evil part of society looking for girls like her. If you allow someone else to adopt her, be careful."

Lucy nodded. "R-Right."

Natsu was visibly disgusted, but only nodded.

"I don't think any of that's going to happen. You two are going to get over-attached because you're so emotional. Take good care of her. She seems like a good kid."

Lucy and Natsu nodded and after talking with her a bit longer, went home, stopping to claim Piper from the tree branch.

Piper yelled back to Laxus, "Bye! Don't forget to bring me some cupcakes!"

Lucy and Natsu had no context for this apparent order she'd given Laxus, and he seemed irritated but waved back anyway before turning back to the firewood.

They went into town to get Piper a few essentials, resolved to make a list and return to get the rest.

When they got back to their house, Gray was sitting in the living room with Happy. There were some bags around, and they were eating takeout.

"Hey Lucy!" he nervously said.

Lucy smiled at him. "Hello, person who let Natsu bring a whole other person home from your job!"

Gray said, "Well, I couldn't do anything. I live in a little apartment by myself and I don't have a wife or anything like that to help."

"I mean, you could if you wanted to," Lucy answered.

"But I don't. I definitely don't. Anyway, I made a deal with Natsu that I'd help with some things."

Piper went straight to Gray's lap when she was placed on the floor and said, "It's been a long time!"

"Not even a whole day. You slept on me the whole ride home. I got you some stuff," he said.

Lucy hadn't really thought about how they'd gotten home, since Gray would have had to look after her on the train due to Natsu's transportation issue. Coming all the way from Caelum meant Gray was responsible for a child for a long time, which was surprising.

Happy had already agreed to be roommates with Piper before their arrival home, and to Gray's credit, he did make up for the fact that he couldn't help take care of her by buying a lot of the stuff they needed, including a little pink bed which was partially assembled in their bedroom.

Gray pointed to the food. "You guys hungry? And wow, Lucy, you're getting pretty huge."

"She gots babies in her, that's why. TWO babies. Not one. Two," Piper said, holding up two fingers for emphasis, in case Gray was still confused.

Lucy felt a strong affinity towards the girl as she spent even a little bit of time with her. So far, she'd seen the girl sass Natsu over his cooking and his hair color, ordered Laxus to bring her cupcakes, and talk back to Gray before stealing his takeout and reminding him that he was bad at hair.

Lucy stopped eating for a moment and put Natsu's hand on her belly. "You feel that?"

"Cool! They're moving again!"

Lucy offered to let them feel them feel it, and Gray cautiously felt her belly, surprised when he felt a kick.

"Whoa. It's still hard for me to believe you guys are having kids. It's super weird in a way, but also kind of cool," Gray said.

Piper gave her belly a rub. "Hello, babies!"

Happy was next, and asked, "Greetings, Little Dragneels, I'm Happy, your new boss! I'll teach you everything I know!"

Lucy pushed his paw away. "I don't think so."

After they ate, Lucy started to feel the combination of being pregnant, and having missed some sleep the night before.

She headed to the bedroom for a nap, but Natsu followed and shut the door, plopping down on the bed next to her.

"I missed you. While I was gone," he said.

Lucy pulled the covers up. "I missed you too. Life is pretty crazy, isn't it? A few months ago, I was a virgin living in my own place. Now here I am. Married. There are going to be six people living in this house in a few months. _Six_."

Her husband nodded. "Sorry again for bringing a whole kid home. We couldn't figure out what else to do, and maybe I got a little attached. I mean, when you're becoming a parent, you think of things a little differently."

"Like every kid might could be your kid someday? I'm right there with you. If you think about it, it hasn't been that long that Piper was just a baby bump. I bet her parents were like us. Really excited, and I bet they all these plans just like we do, and they wanted her to always be safe and healthy."

She rolled over to face him and added, "I want to think that if something so bad we can't imagine it now ever happened and our kids ended up alone out there for some reason that someone would be kind enough to help them."

Natsu kissed her cheek. "I wonder what it was like for Igneel, deciding he'd take me in. But if I think about it enough, I needed someone to care about me and my parents were gone. The only way that was ever going to happen was is someone else chose to do it. It's the same way with Piper. She's not even going to remember being loved by anybody if nobody decides they can do that."

"I didn't think of it that way. That's actually really sad. I've been alone, but I didn't have to worry about where I was going to sleep or if I was going to eat or be warm enough. I've just never had to struggle like that. I can't imagine what it must be like to have all of those things going on at once and be too small to do anything about it. And then just imagine how many people walked by her and didn't help."

Natsu said, "Gray punched a lot of people over that. A lot. We got thrown out of town. We were just two guys and a cat with a little kid. We had a lot of discussions about how you were going to kill me when I got home. I'm honestly really relieved you took it as well as you did."

"I was still thinking about it until I saw her."

He propped his head up on his hand. "So, how's my cute wife been all this time, anyway?"

"Good. Studying. Napping. Exercising. Eating. You know, pregnant life. I've been good though. We've always spent so much time running around all over the place and busy that just being at home and having time to do whatever I want has been restful. I'm not worrying about paying rent or bills, so I can focus or relax. I hate it when you're gone for so long though. I even start missing Happy a lot after a while."

Natsu smiled. "I'm glad. You deserve time to do whatever you need to do. We had some years that were kind of crazy. I've been thinking too, that I was alone when I came to the guild. Then I got Happy, and we became friends, and now all of this. We're turning into one of those whole families, with two people and kids that are brothers or sisters and we have Happy. When I was little, I wanted to be a kid in a family like that. Now I'm the guy.

"I come home, and our house is noisy and lots of stuff is going on and it's great. Like a dream that came true in a really crazy and great way."

They snuggled up, and she fell asleep. He watched her, and then dozed off alongside his wife for a while.

When he woke up, it was to the sensation of her lips on his as she climbed on top of him.

Lucy put her fingers over his lips. "You have to stay quiet. No growling, no roaring, none of that weird stuff."

"Nice and quiet, like a ninja, nin-nin!" he said, giving her an innocent grin, "So how do we…your belly is kind of in the way now."

"Whose fault is that?"

"I mean, I'm not pregnant."

Lucy thumped him on the nose. "Natsu, do you want me to change my mind?"

Natsu widened his grin and said, "I'll be a good boy, Mrs. Dragneel."

"You better."

They took their time, but they were near-silent, moving slowly as she rode him. It was much-needed and much-wanted, as they'd gotten used to being together so often that going weeks without it seemed like an eternity. She was hormonal and he was as enthusiastic about being horny as he was about everything else.

After they finished, they snuggled for a bit, and then Lucy slipped quietly into the bathroom to clean up.

Gray was still watching Piper, having finished fixing up her bed and put her stuff away. They were talking about bees, and she was irritated he didn't know why bees had 'pokers.'

When she came out, he stood up. "I guess I'll be heading home now."

"You're really patient with kids."

Gray said, "Don't get any ideas, or tell anyone else who might get idea. It's just this one kid I kind of like a little. Let me know if you need anything or whatever. I know Natsu and I both decided to bring her back to Magnolia, but you guys are doing most of the work."

Lucy asked, "Could I interest you in Saturday night babysitting so Natsu and I could have a date night?"

"Sure, but you're already married. Why do you need to date?"

"Gray, that is not the point. You've got to be the most unromantic person who has ever walked this earth."

Gray said, "Gajeel still exists."

"Gajeel is so romantic in his own weird way. You're over here pretending you're not doing what we both know you're doing."

"Yeah, whatever. I gave Juvia flowers once. I mean…a flower. It was a nice flower."

Lucy picked up one of the sofa pillows and started hitting him with it. "Stop…pretending…you…are…playing…hard…to…get…when…you…have…already…been…had! Juvia deserves to go on nice dates!"

The ice wizard grabbed one of the pillows. "Okay, okay, okay. I can't hit you back. That's the rule, right?"

"What kind of monster are you?" she asked.

Piper said, "An ice monster! Brrrr!"

Gray shrugged. "Whatever. Goodnight. See you round. You too, Happy. Piper, see you soon, okay?"

Piper nodded. "Byes!"

Lucy summoned Lyra for some relaxing music and Plue for fun and let Piper meet them. At the age she was at, she was curious about everything she witnessed, from watching spirits come from keys to babies to their house to the people she'd met.

While Piper didn't seem to be sad about what she'd been through, Lucy noticed she didn't speak at all—not even one word—about any part of her life from before she met Natsu and Gray.

Happy and Plue were more than willing to clown about and put on a good show, and Natsu when he joined them, so Lucy was able to go back to her books, working on notes while a chorus of weird noise went on in the background.

It wasn't exactly relaxing but being a member of Fairy Tail had conditioner her to work around distracting, loud noises, especially the ones Happy and Natsu made. There weren't two noisier friends in all the world, that was for sure.

There was a knock on their door early that evening, and Piper answered it herself, standing on her tiptoes to turn the knob.

For a second, Lucy felt a flash of parental fear about a tiny child opening the door, and some stray fears about what would happen if it was an enemy or a stranger. Of course, Natsu was nearby, and she was there, but it just felt normal to be worried.

Piper looked up at Laxus and said, "It's the big guy!"

"Did you forget my name, little girl?"

"Nuh-uh…Lettuce."

"Not even close."

"I 'member the name of your kitty."

"Of course you do."

Laxus gave her the box of pink 'princess cupcakes' covered in sprinkles and candy from a bakery in town and patted her head. "Be good."

"Thanks, big guy!"

Lucy got up from the table. "Aw, that's really sweet of you."

"Whatever. It's not a big deal. She looks like she could use the calories."

"You're pretty okay sometimes, Laxus," Lucy answered.

Laxus reached into his coat and showed her a book. "I already finished."

"Don't you do it! I will make you pay!" she threatened.

"_William."_

This one word was a complete story spoiler and Lucy pushed him outside and slammed the door, locking all the bolts and locks like Laxus was going to burst through the door just to tell her more spoilers.

Natsu said, "Are you guys still doing that stupid thing where you tell each other how books end?"

"I will stop when he stops!"

The dragonslayer looked over his wife and said, "Laxus isn't going to stop. You guys need to negotiate a truce or something. You're not supposed to be stressed out."

"I am fine. I haven't been doing anything except studying and taking naps. Stress is not the problem. I'm pregnant and I'm having mood swings and I just wanted to read which of the Boxer brothers gets to travel to the moon without it being spoiled!"

Piper grabbed her hand and started pulling her to the sofa. "It's okay. Let's eat cupcakes. C'mon…"

Lucy wondered what kind of nonsense logic this was: she was annoyed and Piper seemed to honestly believe that eating cupcakes would make it better. On the other hand, they did look delicious, Piper couldn't eat all dozen by herself, and consuming something Laxus paid for would serve as enough spite to go on until she figured out another book he might like, read it, and ruined it.

Natsu found the whole thing to be confusing, but they seemed pretty happy so he left them alone and went to make a dinner he knew had been spoiled because of two girls sitting on the couch eating cupcakes and looking at a book with pictures of animals and talking about Lucy's spirits, who came out one by one.

Then again, one of them was recovering from starving and the other was pregnant with twins so they ate a nice big dinner and then went right back to colorful pictures and cupcakes after.

They helped Piper with her bath, and then into pajamas, and finally to her own bed.

After she was tucked in, Natsu sent Lucy on to get ready for bed and he picked up toys and cupcake wrappers, washed dishes, swept up crumbs, and put the books away.

"Perhaps you'd like me to assist."

Natsu turned to Virgo. "I almost forgot about you. Sure. It's kind of a mess."

"After that, punishment?"

"I'm not going to do any of that weird stuff with you. I'm going to bed."

When he showered and got to bed, she was already half-asleep.

"Goodnight, dragon boy."

"'Night, Luigi."

Lucy cracked one of her eyes open. "You really want to start a war, don't you?"

"Maybe. Maybe you could convince me to be good, maybe I'll be bad anyway. Who knows? I haven't decided yet," he teased, flashing a mischievous grin at her.

The only answer he got was an abrupt snore, so he kissed her on the cheek and turned out the light.

**_Reviews Welcome!_**

Thanks to all who took a moment to review: Simidaqxeen, Jazminee18, Animeflower107, valerioux, Ember Reverie, Roll24K, Copperreign12, OhtaSuzuke, and Anna5949 for taking time to offer feedback. It's appreciated.


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